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#338378 - 08/15/10 08:49 PM What psych diagnosis have you been assigned?
John Oarc Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/10/06
Posts: 633
Loc: Louisiana
I was told I have Post traumatic Stress Disorder.

After multiple attempts to type my thoughts into Google looking for the magic word to describe my feelings I found several. I think I have come up with some things that explain my behaviors but of course I am not able to make any professional diagnosis. I find things I do in several different diagnosis.


PTSD:

Info obtained from: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/post-traumatic-stress-disorder/DS00246/DSECTION=symptoms

* Flashbacks, or reliving the traumatic event for minutes or even days at a time
* Upsetting dreams about the traumatic event

Symptoms of avoidance and emotional numbing may include:

* Trying to avoid thinking or talking about the traumatic event
* Feeling emotionally numb sick
* Avoiding activities you once enjoyed sick
* Hopelessness about the future sick
* Memory problems sick
* Trouble concentrating sick
* Difficulty maintaining close relationships sick

Symptoms of anxiety and increased emotional arousal may include:

* Irritability or anger sick
* Overwhelming guilt or shame confused
* Self-destructive behavior, such as drinking too much sick
* Trouble sleeping
* Being easily startled or frightened sick
* Hearing or seeing things that aren't there


Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder, different from just OCD.

Info obtained from:

http://www.healthtree.com/articles/personality-disorders/obsessive-compulsive/

OCPD and Internal Strife

From the de>
_________________________
Whatever It Takes, God


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#338380 - 08/15/10 09:12 PM Re: What psych diagnosis have you been assigned? [Re: John Oarc]
KingFred Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/23/10
Posts: 57
Loc: West Coast, USA
I too have PTSD and am a sex addict. Never heard of OCPD but, reading the explanation of it, it sounds like I have that as well.
You are not alone John.

_________________________
Not particularly a fan of hugs. High fives and well wishes are always appreciated though.

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#338381 - 08/15/10 09:32 PM Re: What psych diagnosis have you been assigned? [Re: KingFred]
InsideTheWall Offline


Registered: 01/10/09
Posts: 284
PTSD is very common here. If I had to guess, most of us probably have it.


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#338386 - 08/15/10 10:58 PM Re: What psych diagnosis have you been assigned? [Re: InsideTheWall]
Silly Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/21/10
Posts: 140
Loc: Virginia
MDD, PTSD, ADHD, DID/DPD (borderline MPD), HSDD

That's my list of acronyms



_________________________
http://esdgc.com/links/shaneCSA.html

http://seriouslysilly67.blogspot.com/

The Round Table, Men's Sexual Abuse Group, Monday 7:30pm CST, MaleSurvivor Chat

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#338425 - 08/16/10 03:32 PM Re: What psych diagnosis have you been assigned? [Re: Silly]
petercorbett Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/27/08
Posts: 2439
Loc: TEXAS
Hi, my fraternal brothers.

Well, my list would be Major Clinical Depression.

I had called the (s) word hotline, and i was held for the weekend.

PTSD, and i have gone to the 12 week group therapy at a VA mental health clinic. Plus one on one T sessions.

APD too.

But my brothers, what ever diagnosis you come under, i offer you my compassion, understanding & love.

Heal well, my brothers, heal well.

" I will take that lost boys hand, and i will lead him from the depths of darkness, into the sunshine, forever into eternity."

Pete..Irishmoose.

_________________________
Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953
____________________________________________________________
A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA.
May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010.
Hope Springs, 2010.


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#338446 - 08/16/10 07:42 PM Re: What psych diagnosis have you been assigned? [Re: InsideTheWall]
jls Offline


Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 1142
I've seen some PTSD like behaviour in myself, namely hypervigilance, high anxiety and recurring nightmares, although I don't think I've the full range of symptoms to qualify for that diagnoses. The other thing is even if I did I can't say if it would be entirely the result of sa in my youth since there have been a number of traumatic events that I've experienced in my adult life also, although as much to do with being exposed to other people's trauma in life or death situations as my own, if this makes any sense. Anyways the one diagnoses I do have is depression. It took me years to receive treatment for it in the form of medication, which I'm glad I finally did. Meds don't make me 100% happy but they allow me to find some balance even on the worst of days, which I'm grateful for. JS

_________________________
Love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world.


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#338450 - 08/16/10 08:37 PM Re: What psych diagnosis have you been assigned? [Re: jls]
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16265
Well, let's see...

The only official diagnosis I've ever received was "Adjustment Disorder". The reason being that having a diagnosis such as depression, PTSD, or some of the other "acronyms" can have negative consequences on a person's life when it comes to job searches, qualifying for loans, life insurance, etc.

My T was very clever about making sure none of those diagnoses became part of the official record, but unofficially we've discussed PTSD, minor depression, and small indications of APD, among others. He never indicated that any of those were of a moderate or severe level or he would have been obligated to make the diagnoses part of the official record.

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#338533 - 08/18/10 01:58 AM Re: What psych diagnosis have you been assigned? [Re: WalkingSouth]
ericc Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/04/08
Posts: 1970
I was once diagnosed as manic depressive and also having schizoaffective disorder. This was in the late 1990s and they were both way off the mark. What you list above is more realistic. Once I got back into T and addressed what happened more as a violation (first time around I couldn't call it that, and no one asked), and being very clear I thought I had trauma issue, things started to get better.


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#338550 - 08/18/10 11:41 AM Re: What psych diagnosis have you been assigned? [Re: ericc]
Justafarmer Offline


Registered: 08/03/10
Posts: 27
Loc: CO
PSTD. Was also told I was asexual by a psychogolist. Talk about a stop in the recovery. If I was asexual why was I masturbating 2, 3, or 4 times a day with images of both male and female. This was 20 years ago and I probably will not go back to a psychogolist again.


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#338568 - 08/18/10 01:36 PM Re: What psych diagnosis have you been assigned? [Re: Justafarmer]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
When memories first emerged, I was assigned:

depressed (dysthymia)
PTSD
and I had panic attacks

Then as counseling continued, I was:
DIDNOS
with PTSD

Allen

pufferfish whistle


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#338593 - 08/18/10 06:52 PM Re: What psych diagnosis have you been assigned? [Re: pufferfish]
John Oarc Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/10/06
Posts: 633
Loc: Louisiana
Thanks guys very interesting stuff.


John o

_________________________
Whatever It Takes, God


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#338616 - 08/19/10 03:15 AM Re: What psych diagnosis have you been assigned? [Re: ericc]
jls Offline


Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 1142
Hi ericc. I like what you say about trauma being the bigger issue. Many professionals are quick to assign a label to people like us when some simple listening and guidance would suffice. JS

_________________________
Love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world.


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#338629 - 08/19/10 09:50 AM Re: What psych diagnosis have you been assigned? [Re: pufferfish]
Mountainous Buck Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/15/09
Posts: 1626
Loc: Minnesota
I know I am an alcoholic and a sex addict-I've been sober and in recovery for a while.

I've been diagnosed with GAD - general anxiety disorder. That was before all the memories came flooding back and I understood I was a victim of csa. Now i know PTSD is the most accurate de>
_________________________
We have to take responsibility for what we're not responsible for.

“It doesn't matter where you've come from,
It matters where you go" Frank Turner

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#338631 - 08/19/10 10:12 AM Re: What psych diagnosis have you been assigned? [Re: John Oarc]
Sobernow Offline


Registered: 05/17/10
Posts: 256
Loc: Oklahoma
It really hurts to have to honestly look at the list of symptoms and diagnoses.

I always said to myself --- what happened to me wasn't really a big deal.

Well ---------- that didn't turn out working quite so well for me.......................

So today - I will be honest with myself.

That is a good start - but it is hard.


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#338635 - 08/19/10 10:56 AM Re: What psych diagnosis have you been assigned? [Re: pufferfish]
Daniel-Peter Offline


Registered: 08/06/10
Posts: 12
As child of 11, raped by "minister of God," "a director of Uncles at Large, (not repeated thing, neither submissive nor cooperative, forced, frozen in fear--one time thing,--ran into 40 below winter in bare feet half dressed when saw chance to escape.) When told "priets don't do that" I reacted, and while he walked the streets, I was locked up in psychiatirc hospital for children with "behavioral problems" in Toronto in 70's. File transferred to Ottawa until kicked out by Roman catholic mother at 14.

Diagnosis as child = manic-depressive, treatment = lithium--and no one discussed issues in order to protect me--the problem was me.

At 14, lived on streets with violence, death, drugs, alcohol, and crime all around me. Survived again and became Airbone Infantry soldier. When discharged, became Peace Officer. When crashed and burned was guarding inmate who turned out to be pedophile by his own admission--something snapped in me. I took three steps towards him with murder in my heart--I almost crossed the line...but something inside me stopped me. I called for backup and relief and pretty much lost my mind shortly thereafter.

Had been airborne infantry, so I began to hunt perp...fortunately for me, he died of other causes before I could doubletap him. Lost career, lots of triggers, number of suicide attempts (hate myself when angry, feel like loser, feel everyone looks down on me in disgust.) hypervigilance, total lack of trust, deep depression preceeded by feelings of impending doom, self-mutilation and self-sabotage, avoidance, flashbacks of not just that hell, but compunded by many more lifethreatening situations--docs say too many to unravel, night terrors, in and out of hosptial.

Diagnosis as adult = Severe and Prolonged PTSD compunded with Major Depressive Episodes and Suicidal Ideation. Treatment = lost career in law enforcement, valium as needed (Paxil made me act out more,) Viagara (but never take cause don't want sex...even with wife,) told not to pursue treatment involving drawing out incident, as too many others come with it and I craqsh and burn each time. Basicaly, I'm f*cked, and at times pose a danger to myself and others--so I keep myself isolated as needed.

_________________________
A Church is not a resort for saints; it is a hospital for sinners.

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#338636 - 08/19/10 10:58 AM Re: What psych diagnosis have you been assigned? [Re: Daniel-Peter]
Daniel-Peter Offline


Registered: 08/06/10
Posts: 12
oh...forgot the electric shock room at Lakeshore Psychiatirc in Toronto...and being forced to walk down the tunnels with the pipes on the wall to get there.

_________________________
A Church is not a resort for saints; it is a hospital for sinners.

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#338662 - 08/19/10 06:30 PM Re: What psych diagnosis have you been assigned? [Re: Daniel-Peter]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
Daniel-Peter

Going town a long hallway without windows used to provoke a strong psychological reaction in me. What I felt was that I was a 12-year-old boy. Did you have any such symptoms?

Originally Posted By: Daniel-Peter

lots of triggers, number of suicide attempts (hate myself when angry, feel like loser, feel everyone looks down on me in disgust.) hypervigilance, total lack of trust, deep depression preceeded by feelings of impending doom, self-mutilation and self-sabotage, avoidance, flashbacks


Have any of your clinicians ever looked into whether you might have DID/MPD? That could explain a lot of your symptoms possibly better than the diagnosis you were given.

Allen

pufferfish





Edited by pufferfish (08/19/10 06:33 PM)
Edit Reason: inserted quote

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#338702 - 08/20/10 03:54 PM Re: What psych diagnosis have you been assigned? [Re: pufferfish]
Daniel-Peter Offline


Registered: 08/06/10
Posts: 12
No idea what DID/MPD is...last warning was "stay away form it" so I do. Only reason I'm here (haven't been on this site in a few years) is 'cause i got triggered...bad.

As for hallways, I'm claustrophic, and have been violent in past when trapped.

At times, i don't so much feel like a kid as I "am" a kid. I've even realized that I've been talking as though I'm there, or I'm a kid again. Not good.

_________________________
A Church is not a resort for saints; it is a hospital for sinners.

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#338704 - 08/20/10 04:02 PM Re: What psych diagnosis have you been assigned? [Re: Daniel-Peter]
Daniel-Peter Offline


Registered: 08/06/10
Posts: 12
You know somehting? I get scared of myself. When you feel that crush of doom come on, and it's like an impenetrable gray movie screen (I know it sounds wierd to mix "impenterable" with "movie" but its how it feels) that covers your eyes. It scares the crap out of you that your not sure if your going to be that person that you hate, and screw up what little life you got left.

I'm just trying here to get back on an even keel, to be that stable me I work so hard to hold on to.

_________________________
A Church is not a resort for saints; it is a hospital for sinners.

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#338705 - 08/20/10 04:04 PM Re: What psych diagnosis have you been assigned? [Re: Daniel-Peter]
Daniel-Peter Offline


Registered: 08/06/10
Posts: 12
Does MPD means like split personality? If so, its not me...I know I'm me even when I'm not the person I want to be. I don't change into people that don't know each other.

_________________________
A Church is not a resort for saints; it is a hospital for sinners.

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#362409 - 05/17/11 11:25 AM Re: What psych diagnosis have you been assigned? [Re: pufferfish]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
I still have the PTSD. I still agonize over some of this and how the effects of the perps left treadmarks in my personality. I'm not in very much pain anymore (depression?).

Personality-wise I'm mostly OCD (or perfectionistic). I am highly analytical. I'm highly sensitive (music). I'm not very aggressive (!). I' slightly a hider = loner.

I have 2 wonderful adult daughters. They're happily married and each family has a little girl and a little boy.

The DIDNOS has receded to the point that I only have moody periods for the days of the week. For example: Saturdays I'm often depressed. Sundays I'm not. Mondays I'm not depressed but I tend to be withdrawn., etc.

I still tend to be withdrawn and somewhat reclusive but I play in about a half-dozen different music groups and eat lunch with friends often so I can't be terrible. I play horn in church weekly.

I have had an affliction of being unable to throw things away, especially papers. I have ancient receipts left by the Cro-magnon man smile. I think this is because I have had such a huge sense of loss from childhood.

I realize that an abusive childhood set me on life courses which would never have taken my own choosing. Whatever life might have been for me I know I experienced much less than it would have been. But the object is to not be depressed over this but to take what I've got and run with it.

Allen





Edited by pufferfish (05/17/11 12:36 PM)

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#362430 - 05/17/11 03:18 PM Re: What psych diagnosis have you been assigned? [Re: pufferfish]
Shadow+Walker Offline


Registered: 04/16/09
Posts: 287
Loc: desolate foggy nights, USA
PTSD, Dysthymia, ADD, Dyslexia, Dyscalculia (math learning disability) - Peanuts! Hot dogs! Cotton Candy! Oh sorry I was on a roll. smile
Peace,
Shadow+Walker

_________________________
For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, love and self discipline. (St Paul, 2Timothy 1:7) NIV

Check out a cool song by a hot band..."Unbreakable" by Fireflight: official video at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWRJAHaOrYg

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#362435 - 05/17/11 05:38 PM Re: What psych diagnosis have you been assigned? [Re: Shadow+Walker]
petercorbett Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/27/08
Posts: 2439
Loc: TEXAS
Howdy, my brothers.

As a boy around 10-14 years old I was taken to some sort of a clinic, i was separated from my "mom". I went with a nurse? Someone in a white coat. I was given things to do, all the while being talked to and whatever we said was recorded on a Dictaphone machine. Then i remember that i was taken into a dimly lit room, i was hooked up to a bunch of wires attached to my head and to some sort of a machine. I can't remember if i was asked questions or not. I never did find out what that was all about. But, i have always told myself that they surely had the wrong Corbett hooked up. It should have been my "mom."
That was around the 1949-1953 era. No high tech stuff then.

ADHD,DIDNOS,ADD, alcoholic (sober 34 yrs), extremely shy, a loner, lack social skills, lack of emotions/feelings for females. Lacked respect for authority, (that was a toughie for me in the military), but i learned fast to overcome it.

Tons, of emotions for males. Tell my son (39) & grandsons (10 & 11) in Germany via e-mail that i love them every day. Every time since their birth and they are in my presence, for the small boys, I'll get on my knees, I'll give them a hug & kiss & tell them that i love them. I have always told my son that maybe you boys could live with out your dad & grandpa. But your dad & grandpa couldn't live with out them..It almost came to pass in August '10.

But, i'm trying to change all that alphabet soup & labels to something else...SURVIVOR.

Heal well, my brothers, I love & respect you no matter what diagnosis you have. Just be YOU.

"I will take that lost boys hand, and I will lead him from the depths of darkness, into the sunshine, forever into eternity." As he is me.

Pete..Irishmoose.



Edited by petercorbett (05/17/11 05:39 PM)
Edit Reason: added a word.
_________________________
Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953
____________________________________________________________
A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA.
May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010.
Hope Springs, 2010.


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#362523 - 05/19/11 05:00 AM - [Re: petercorbett]
exhale Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/12/10
Posts: 101
-


Edited by exhale (01/13/13 11:21 PM)

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#363437 - 06/02/11 02:04 AM Re: What psych diagnosis have you been assigned? [Re: exhale]
1lifenow Offline


Registered: 03/07/11
Posts: 408
Loc: west coast
Its not easy to know what is bs and what is worthwhile. The ADHD meds are amazing, i am actually getting things done with less distraction. Got off the depression meds, the plus minus on those didnt add up for me. You would think i have ocd by my garage but nope just junk in my head. People think i am arrogant and dismissive - nope just not all there. Scary smart but not a lick of common sense. I think it all stems from when my dad switched me from a lefty to a righty ( well not all of it), not sure there is a diagnosis for that. The fallout is i can now write with neither hand. Havent started the sex addiction councilling yet. Hope there is hope.



Edited by 1lifenow (07/01/11 06:53 PM)
_________________________
The need for love lies at the very foundation of human existence. Dalai Lama

WoR Barrie 2011

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#363524 - 06/03/11 06:24 AM Re: What psych diagnosis have you been assigned? [Re: 1lifenow]
well-intended Offline


Registered: 04/15/11
Posts: 124
Loc: Belgium
The T tried to make an aspergers diagnosis. To me it felt like just another form of blaming the victim, albeit well-intended. So next session I whipped out an alter with spontaneous, divergent thinking, very unlike the aspergers profile. Ever since he has kept his diagnoses to himself. grin

Sometimes it's amusing being a total nutcase. I need a smiling emoticon with a tear in the eye.


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#363574 - 06/04/11 01:10 AM Re: What psych diagnosis have you been assigned? [Re: well-intended]
Sacred_Sage Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/19/07
Posts: 141
I've never seen what they diagnosed me with, but I'm betting that they gave me PTSD or at the very least a anxiety disorder... perhaps, Depression.

_________________________
http://youtu.be/HL297ZTYVRM <---- In case you ever wondered what I sound like.

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#363649 - 06/05/11 04:11 PM Re: What psych diagnosis have you been assigned? [Re: Daniel-Peter]
vachssfan Offline


Registered: 03/08/11
Posts: 58
Loc: TX
i was going to just add a reply to this. but reading though what daniel-peter wrote- it's just too close to what i'd write-

"At 14, lived on streets with violence, death, drugs, alcohol, and crime all around me. Survived again and became Airbone Infantry soldier. When discharged, became Peace Officer. When crashed and burned was guarding inmate who turned out to be pedophile by his own admission--something snapped in me. I took three steps towards him with murder in my heart--I almost crossed the line...but something inside me stopped me. I called for backup and relief and pretty much lost my mind shortly thereafter.

Had been airborne infantry, so I began to hunt perp...fortunately for me, he died of other causes before I could doubletap him. Lost career, lots of triggers, number of suicide attempts (hate myself when angry, feel like loser, feel everyone looks down on me in disgust.) hypervigilance, total lack of trust, deep depression preceeded by feelings of impending doom, self-mutilation and self-sabotage, avoidance, flashbacks of not just that hell, but compunded by many more lifethreatening situations--docs say too many to unravel, night terrors, in and out of hosptial"

everything minus the armed forces and hospitalization.

that's fucked. i hate how i can read what so many of you write and see it in myself- not for me. but for you. i know how I feel and what I went through. and that so many of you do makes me want to fucking burn the world.

it's too much most of the time to think about- that there is some sort of predestined path when something like this happens to you as a boy.

what i was originally going to say, b/c i can say it here...

as a kid- conduct disorder, triad behavior, ADD

as an adult- depression, Bi-Polar, suicidal ideation, PTSD... there's more but fuck it.

_________________________
www.memoryisaghost.blogspot.com/

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