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#338593 - 08/18/10 06:52 PM Re: What psych diagnosis have you been assigned? [Re: pufferfish]
John Oarc Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/10/06
Posts: 633
Loc: Louisiana
Thanks guys very interesting stuff.


John o

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Whatever It Takes, God


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#338616 - 08/19/10 03:15 AM Re: What psych diagnosis have you been assigned? [Re: ericc]
jls Offline


Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 1142
Hi ericc. I like what you say about trauma being the bigger issue. Many professionals are quick to assign a label to people like us when some simple listening and guidance would suffice. JS

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Love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world.


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#338629 - 08/19/10 09:50 AM Re: What psych diagnosis have you been assigned? [Re: pufferfish]
Mountainous Buck Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/15/09
Posts: 1626
Loc: Minnesota
I know I am an alcoholic and a sex addict-I've been sober and in recovery for a while.

I've been diagnosed with GAD - general anxiety disorder. That was before all the memories came flooding back and I understood I was a victim of csa. Now i know PTSD is the most accurate de>
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We have to take responsibility for what we're not responsible for.

“It doesn't matter where you've come from,
It matters where you go" Frank Turner

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#338631 - 08/19/10 10:12 AM Re: What psych diagnosis have you been assigned? [Re: John Oarc]
Sobernow Offline


Registered: 05/17/10
Posts: 256
Loc: Oklahoma
It really hurts to have to honestly look at the list of symptoms and diagnoses.

I always said to myself --- what happened to me wasn't really a big deal.

Well ---------- that didn't turn out working quite so well for me.......................

So today - I will be honest with myself.

That is a good start - but it is hard.


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#338635 - 08/19/10 10:56 AM Re: What psych diagnosis have you been assigned? [Re: pufferfish]
Daniel-Peter Offline


Registered: 08/06/10
Posts: 12
As child of 11, raped by "minister of God," "a director of Uncles at Large, (not repeated thing, neither submissive nor cooperative, forced, frozen in fear--one time thing,--ran into 40 below winter in bare feet half dressed when saw chance to escape.) When told "priets don't do that" I reacted, and while he walked the streets, I was locked up in psychiatirc hospital for children with "behavioral problems" in Toronto in 70's. File transferred to Ottawa until kicked out by Roman catholic mother at 14.

Diagnosis as child = manic-depressive, treatment = lithium--and no one discussed issues in order to protect me--the problem was me.

At 14, lived on streets with violence, death, drugs, alcohol, and crime all around me. Survived again and became Airbone Infantry soldier. When discharged, became Peace Officer. When crashed and burned was guarding inmate who turned out to be pedophile by his own admission--something snapped in me. I took three steps towards him with murder in my heart--I almost crossed the line...but something inside me stopped me. I called for backup and relief and pretty much lost my mind shortly thereafter.

Had been airborne infantry, so I began to hunt perp...fortunately for me, he died of other causes before I could doubletap him. Lost career, lots of triggers, number of suicide attempts (hate myself when angry, feel like loser, feel everyone looks down on me in disgust.) hypervigilance, total lack of trust, deep depression preceeded by feelings of impending doom, self-mutilation and self-sabotage, avoidance, flashbacks of not just that hell, but compunded by many more lifethreatening situations--docs say too many to unravel, night terrors, in and out of hosptial.

Diagnosis as adult = Severe and Prolonged PTSD compunded with Major Depressive Episodes and Suicidal Ideation. Treatment = lost career in law enforcement, valium as needed (Paxil made me act out more,) Viagara (but never take cause don't want sex...even with wife,) told not to pursue treatment involving drawing out incident, as too many others come with it and I craqsh and burn each time. Basicaly, I'm f*cked, and at times pose a danger to myself and others--so I keep myself isolated as needed.

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A Church is not a resort for saints; it is a hospital for sinners.

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#338636 - 08/19/10 10:58 AM Re: What psych diagnosis have you been assigned? [Re: Daniel-Peter]
Daniel-Peter Offline


Registered: 08/06/10
Posts: 12
oh...forgot the electric shock room at Lakeshore Psychiatirc in Toronto...and being forced to walk down the tunnels with the pipes on the wall to get there.

_________________________
A Church is not a resort for saints; it is a hospital for sinners.

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#338662 - 08/19/10 06:30 PM Re: What psych diagnosis have you been assigned? [Re: Daniel-Peter]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6818
Loc: USA
Daniel-Peter

Going town a long hallway without windows used to provoke a strong psychological reaction in me. What I felt was that I was a 12-year-old boy. Did you have any such symptoms?

Originally Posted By: Daniel-Peter

lots of triggers, number of suicide attempts (hate myself when angry, feel like loser, feel everyone looks down on me in disgust.) hypervigilance, total lack of trust, deep depression preceeded by feelings of impending doom, self-mutilation and self-sabotage, avoidance, flashbacks


Have any of your clinicians ever looked into whether you might have DID/MPD? That could explain a lot of your symptoms possibly better than the diagnosis you were given.

Allen

pufferfish





Edited by pufferfish (08/19/10 06:33 PM)
Edit Reason: inserted quote

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#338702 - 08/20/10 03:54 PM Re: What psych diagnosis have you been assigned? [Re: pufferfish]
Daniel-Peter Offline


Registered: 08/06/10
Posts: 12
No idea what DID/MPD is...last warning was "stay away form it" so I do. Only reason I'm here (haven't been on this site in a few years) is 'cause i got triggered...bad.

As for hallways, I'm claustrophic, and have been violent in past when trapped.

At times, i don't so much feel like a kid as I "am" a kid. I've even realized that I've been talking as though I'm there, or I'm a kid again. Not good.

_________________________
A Church is not a resort for saints; it is a hospital for sinners.

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#338704 - 08/20/10 04:02 PM Re: What psych diagnosis have you been assigned? [Re: Daniel-Peter]
Daniel-Peter Offline


Registered: 08/06/10
Posts: 12
You know somehting? I get scared of myself. When you feel that crush of doom come on, and it's like an impenetrable gray movie screen (I know it sounds wierd to mix "impenterable" with "movie" but its how it feels) that covers your eyes. It scares the crap out of you that your not sure if your going to be that person that you hate, and screw up what little life you got left.

I'm just trying here to get back on an even keel, to be that stable me I work so hard to hold on to.

_________________________
A Church is not a resort for saints; it is a hospital for sinners.

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#338705 - 08/20/10 04:04 PM Re: What psych diagnosis have you been assigned? [Re: Daniel-Peter]
Daniel-Peter Offline


Registered: 08/06/10
Posts: 12
Does MPD means like split personality? If so, its not me...I know I'm me even when I'm not the person I want to be. I don't change into people that don't know each other.

_________________________
A Church is not a resort for saints; it is a hospital for sinners.

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