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#337605 - 08/04/10 10:37 AM Please state your gender
Pattycakes Offline


Registered: 05/23/10
Posts: 109
Loc: Canada
Hey you guys!!

I just saw that we now have the option to state our gender in our profile. I encourage all of you to do so.

Go to 'My stuff' then Profile. Scroll down and write your gender in the appropriate box.

Am I being bossy ? LOL Like Nike says: Just do it !!

Pattycakes

_________________________
If you judge people, you have no time to love them.-Mother Theresa




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#337638 - 08/04/10 08:55 PM Re: Please state your gender [Re: Pattycakes]
nevragan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/22/08
Posts: 907
Loc: NC
Thanks for bringing this up. I noticed the feature the other day and am very happy that it has been added. As Patty says, just do it and fill it out. I'll tell you why it means so much to me. Recently I was triggered by women being in chat. I traced it back to my mom invading my space as a kid. I worked thru it and have a better understanding of that trigger now. So as a courtesy to fellow survivors, Can you please fill in the new feature. It takes only a few seconds and makes it easier on everyone. Thank you, Andy.


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#337739 - 08/05/10 10:08 PM Re: Please state your gender [Re: nevragan]
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16264
Pattycakes makes a very valid point. All new registrants are now required to fill out the gender box during the registration process as a prerequisite to continuing the registration process. It is especially important, and on August 14, 2010 will be made a requirement for all Family & Friends participants to go to the My Stuff page and enter your gender in the space provided.

As has been pointed out, This is a site designed specifically for male survivors of sexual abuse or assault to process their abuse issues and to work toward recovery. It is also a place for our significant loved ones who want to support us or who need to learn what we are facing, and the part they play in our lives/recovery, to participate on a more limited basis.

Above all, courtesy is a must on this site whether it be on the forums, private messages, or in the chat room. Part of that courtesy is declaring who you are if you are not a male or not a survivor. Another part of that courtesy is using the forums and chat rooms in accordance with the site guidelines for that participation. Here are the links to those guidelines specifically as they apply to F&F site users:

Site Use Guidelines

Chat Use Guidelines

Posting and Chat Guidelines for Family and Friends





_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#339320 - 08/31/10 02:53 PM Re: Please state your gender [Re: WalkingSouth]
Pattycakes Offline


Registered: 05/23/10
Posts: 109
Loc: Canada
Thought I'd bump the topic again, since people are joining and coming back. They don't necessarily know that we ask them to state their gender...

Pattycakes

_________________________
If you judge people, you have no time to love them.-Mother Theresa




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#339328 - 08/31/10 06:08 PM Re: Please state your gender [Re: Pattycakes]
petercorbett Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/27/08
Posts: 2435
Loc: TEXAS
Hi, Pattycakes,

You made me do it.

It's boy/man.

Or, I'm an Irishmoose, this confuses me even more.

Pete..Irishmoose.

_________________________
Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953
____________________________________________________________
A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA.
May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010.
Hope Springs, 2010.


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#352003 - 01/26/11 11:37 AM Re: Please state your gender [Re: petercorbett]
oldguy Offline


Registered: 06/09/10
Posts: 61
Loc: st louis, MO
I am male. Oldguy


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#378044 - 12/04/11 12:24 AM Re: Please state your gender [Re: oldguy]
Taurus Offline


Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 13
Female. Wife of CSA victim. (Yes, I still say victim at this point.)


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#385777 - 02/14/12 07:21 PM Re: Please state your gender [Re: nevragan]
Treehugger75 Offline


Registered: 02/08/12
Posts: 158
Loc: Ontario Canada
hmmm... funny thats the first thing i did?

_________________________
I will never ALWAYS be right, I wasn't wrong, I am whats left.

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#385783 - 02/14/12 07:44 PM Re: Please state your gender [Re: WalkingSouth]
Treehugger75 Offline


Registered: 02/08/12
Posts: 158
Loc: Ontario Canada
MALEQ!Q

_________________________
I will never ALWAYS be right, I wasn't wrong, I am whats left.

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#387168 - 02/25/12 01:47 AM Re: Please state your gender [Re: Pattycakes]
pbert53 Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/26/09
Posts: 576
Loc: Washington, USA
Thank you Pattycakes for posting this request. I appreciate it because when I first came to Ms.org, I was terrified for any woman to know what had been done to me as a child. It made me feel like I was less than a man, for a woman to know what had happened. My insecurity I know, not anyone else's problem.

It would freak me out when I was in chat and find out that a woman was in there listening to me speak. I always check every person's profile when I go into chat, to find out something about them before I share, so I will know a bit about them. If I saw that it was a woman, I wouldn't share in chat. My problem, I know. So it would doubly freak me out if I didn't know a person in chat was a woman after I had shared something (because I hadn't seen that they were a woman) and have to leave immediately.

I am 'A OK' with there being women there now that I have some time in recovery. It is no longer triggering for me. So, I know that some newer guys coming in now are feeling this same trepidation as I once did. That is why I would be grateful to women for putting on their "Profile" page that they are female.

Please do not be offended by what I have said. I have only admiration and love for all of you dear Women, for your love, care, and support of us in this terrible ordeal we go through and put you through, often on a daily basis. Without wonderful people like you, we would not have a valuable support person in our lives. Some never get to have a support person in their lives such as you. Thank you so much for all that you put up with; we are not an easy bunch to live with.

take care

peace

paul smile

_________________________
If you cannot control what happens to you, you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.

~ adapted from: Sri Ram

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