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#337485 - 08/02/10 09:55 PM Why can't I own a Canadian?
Geeders Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/03/08
Posts: 1901
Loc: Peterborough, Ontario, Canada
Triggers! For those attached to the literal interpretation of Leviticus Exodus etc.....

I saw this on a friend's Facebook page and howled! I hadn't seen it before. If this is old, please feel free to ignore..

Jim
(And for those that don't already know, I'm CANADIAN! cool )

In her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance.

The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, written by a US man, and posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination ... End of
debate.

I do need some advice from you,however,regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of Menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than
homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there
'degrees' of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two
different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go
to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I'm confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your adoring fan.

James M. Kauffman, Ed.D. Professor Emeritus,
Dept. Of Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education
University of Virginia PS (It would be a damn shame if we couldn't own a Canadian)

_________________________
My name is Jim
WoR Mysthaven 2008, Level 2 WoR Alta 2009, Kirkridge 2010, 2011, Oprah 200 men

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#337491 - 08/02/10 10:25 PM Re: Why can't I own a Canadian? [Re: Geeders]
prisonerID Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/17/08
Posts: 1247
Loc: Oklahoma
G-Man -

This belongs in the "Hall of Fame" for posts here. It is already one of my favorites.

The "PS" is priceless.



Daryl

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Broad statements often miss their true mark.

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#337493 - 08/02/10 10:35 PM Re: Why can't I own a Canadian? [Re: Geeders]
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16264
Well, If I get to own a Canadian, Jim, You're in deep doo doo!!!!! Can't wait for this one to be settled so as I can get started Mwahahahahahah!!!!!!!

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#337494 - 08/02/10 10:37 PM Re: Why can't I own a Canadian? [Re: prisonerID]
Geeders Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/03/08
Posts: 1901
Loc: Peterborough, Ontario, Canada
Well! With praise such as that.... how could I NOT follow it up with this....

I AM CANADIAN!

grin cool grin

Thanks D-man! (Whose PS? His or mine? LOL!)

_________________________
My name is Jim
WoR Mysthaven 2008, Level 2 WoR Alta 2009, Kirkridge 2010, 2011, Oprah 200 men

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#337496 - 08/02/10 10:40 PM Re: Why can't I own a Canadian? [Re: WalkingSouth]
Geeders Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/03/08
Posts: 1901
Loc: Peterborough, Ontario, Canada
John:

When you can speak French, eat poutine, and speed along in kilometers, I'll begin to become worried.

Maybe..perhaps....

grin

_________________________
My name is Jim
WoR Mysthaven 2008, Level 2 WoR Alta 2009, Kirkridge 2010, 2011, Oprah 200 men

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#337498 - 08/02/10 10:52 PM Re: Why can't I own a Canadian? [Re: Geeders]
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16264
Jim!!! I don't know about Kilometers, but I can tell you that driving on the Canadian highways is one of the most frightening things I have ever undertaken. Two lane road... Lotsa traffic hurtling along at 70+ MPH... No room to pass... What do the Canadians do? They pull out and pass anyhow... Damn who may be in the oncoming lane... They're on their own. If they wanna avoid death they just have to head into the grassland to save their lives! Yup!!! True story! And it's a way of life north of the border They ALL do it!!!!!

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#337508 - 08/03/10 01:43 AM Re: Why can't I own a Canadian? [Re: Geeders]
Ever-fixed Mark Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/02/10
Posts: 729
Loc: United States
This is from a quite famous letter on the internet. This is the same letter that inspired Aaron Sorkin to write the following scene in The West Wing...



One of my favorite television moments...

-efm

_________________________

Everybody here's got a story to tell
Everybody's been through their own hell
There's nothing too special about getting hurt
Getting over it, that takes the work

- "Duck and Cover" by Glen Phillips

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#337509 - 08/03/10 05:18 AM Re: Why can't I own a Canadian? [Re: Ever-fixed Mark]
Geeders Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/03/08
Posts: 1901
Loc: Peterborough, Ontario, Canada
Thanks EFM! I hope he got an award for that episode. That was Billiant!

Jim

_________________________
My name is Jim
WoR Mysthaven 2008, Level 2 WoR Alta 2009, Kirkridge 2010, 2011, Oprah 200 men

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#337514 - 08/03/10 08:55 AM Re: Why can't I own a Canadian? [Re: Geeders]
kidneythis Offline


Registered: 11/08/09
Posts: 1558
Nice start to the day for me! Very funny.

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As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

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#337518 - 08/03/10 09:23 AM Re: Why can't I own a Canadian? [Re: Ever-fixed Mark]
prisonerID Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/17/08
Posts: 1247
Loc: Oklahoma
Two Royal Canadian Thumbs Up, Mark!

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Broad statements often miss their true mark.

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#337523 - 08/03/10 10:41 AM Re: Why can't I own a Canadian? [Re: prisonerID]
michael Joseph Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/11/01
Posts: 2719
Loc: Virginia
well not sure about the Canadian but who is buying all the mexicans not sure, but I need a pool boy and more to build the pool.

_________________________
Standing together is so much better than hiding in the dark.
***I am a three time WoR Retreat Alumni***
The Round Table, Men's CSA Group, Monday 7:30pm CST, MaleSurvivor Chat

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#337531 - 08/03/10 12:31 PM Re: Why can't I own a Canadian? [Re: michael Joseph]
Pattycakes Offline


Registered: 05/23/10
Posts: 109
Loc: Canada
I AM Canadian !!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpj1zgyfS...=1&index=27

Have fun !

Pattycakes

_________________________
If you judge people, you have no time to love them.-Mother Theresa




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#337536 - 08/03/10 01:33 PM Re: Why can't I own a Canadian? [Re: Pattycakes]
Castle Offline


Registered: 10/03/09
Posts: 728
Loc: NJ
I'll take a Canadian please...LOL

I thought it was interesting, as some of us non believers make that argument often.

I will add though and the reason I'm osting, is I feel the same way about tattoos. It is very taboo in the jewish religion, and many of my family and their fakakta friends are appaled at body art.

Next time I'm in Florida and somebdoy mentions mine or the wifes tattoo and then have that sour look on theirt face...It will take all my will power to hold back and remind them that plastic surgery also alters the body and is the same thing as a tattoo, in the Jewish religion. LOL. Not sure it would go over very well, but just sayin.

_________________________

My posts can self destruct at any time..read them while you can.

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#337574 - 08/03/10 08:45 PM Re: Why can't I own a Canadian? [Re: Pattycakes]
Geeders Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/03/08
Posts: 1901
Loc: Peterborough, Ontario, Canada
Originally Posted By: Pattycakes
I AM Canadian !!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpj1zgyfS...=1&index=27

Have fun !

Pattycakes


ROFLMFAO! Brava! Brava! Encore! Formidable! Incroyable! Oh Ca-na-da!... oh yeah.... grrrrrr! LOLOLOLOLOL! laugh

_________________________
My name is Jim
WoR Mysthaven 2008, Level 2 WoR Alta 2009, Kirkridge 2010, 2011, Oprah 200 men

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#337578 - 08/03/10 09:20 PM Re: Why can't I own a Canadian? [Re: Castle]
prisonerID Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/17/08
Posts: 1247
Loc: Oklahoma
Castle,

I get the same crap about my tats too. I am giving it back more and more to them.

_________________________
Broad statements often miss their true mark.

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#337623 - 08/04/10 04:08 PM Re: Why can't I own a Canadian? [Re: Pattycakes]
Geeders Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/03/08
Posts: 1901
Loc: Peterborough, Ontario, Canada
Patty,

Did you see the segments that followed the beaver one? I had no idea there was more then the one in your link, but its a playlist! Look for William Shatner! I just about died laughing so hard!

And the other one listing several famous Canadians... Keanu Reeves, Jim Carrey, Mike Myers.....I'll throw in Superman as well... just to stir things up a bit...! laugh

Jim

_________________________
My name is Jim
WoR Mysthaven 2008, Level 2 WoR Alta 2009, Kirkridge 2010, 2011, Oprah 200 men

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#337626 - 08/04/10 04:21 PM Re: Why can't I own a Canadian? [Re: Geeders]
Pattycakes Offline


Registered: 05/23/10
Posts: 109
Loc: Canada
LOL Jim !!

there are soooo many others as well! I like these things, they're always funny. The Olympics closing ceremonies were pretty cool as well with Shatner and Michael J. Fox.

PC

_________________________
If you judge people, you have no time to love them.-Mother Theresa




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#337641 - 08/04/10 11:21 PM Re: Why can't I own a Canadian? [Re: prisonerID]
Mulligan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/15/10
Posts: 94
Loc: USA
It is always dissapointing to see the bible taken out of context or individuals to use only parts of it to run thier own agenda. As we saw recently with the edited down version of the USDA lady being made out to be a racist, we can almost turn any story into something it is not. What a fantastic article. I am just torn now whether or not I want a Canadian or a Mexican!

_________________________
Because I never give up the fight!

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#337693 - 08/05/10 11:45 AM Re: Why can't I own a Canadian? [Re: Mulligan]
Geeders Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/03/08
Posts: 1901
Loc: Peterborough, Ontario, Canada
Originally Posted By: Mulligan
I am just torn now whether or not I want a Canadian or a Mexican!


Really? confused Its not a difficult question! whistle

laugh grin cool

_________________________
My name is Jim
WoR Mysthaven 2008, Level 2 WoR Alta 2009, Kirkridge 2010, 2011, Oprah 200 men

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#337701 - 08/05/10 12:55 PM Re: Why can't I own a Canadian? [Re: Geeders]
TJ jeff Offline

Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/07/04
Posts: 3368
Loc: Northern Wisconsin
Canadian - most definately... grin laugh grin

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Who will cry for the little boy? - I will... - Antwone Fisher

Abuse happens in silence/isolation - Recovery happens only when that silence/isolation is broken...

TJ's History

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#337710 - 08/05/10 02:08 PM Re: Why can't I own a Canadian? [Re: TJ jeff]
prisonerID Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/17/08
Posts: 1247
Loc: Oklahoma
Columbians are hot - are they on the litst?

_________________________
Broad statements often miss their true mark.

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#341224 - 10/01/10 04:48 AM Re: Why can't I own a Canadian? [Re: prisonerID]
michael Joseph Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/11/01
Posts: 2719
Loc: Virginia
dont confuse the issue

wot were we doing?

what about peruvians (people from peru)

_________________________
Standing together is so much better than hiding in the dark.
***I am a three time WoR Retreat Alumni***
The Round Table, Men's CSA Group, Monday 7:30pm CST, MaleSurvivor Chat

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#341228 - 10/01/10 08:33 AM Re: Why can't I own a Canadian? [Re: michael Joseph]
SamV Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5942
Loc: Talladega, Alabama, USA
Ok, so, as a spiritual man in the throes of a faith debacle, I must say, Jim..,

WHAT is so WRONG with Mexicans?

You K.anadians have health care and seasons of weather and separate speaking cities.

Mexicans have Montezuma's revenge, chili peppers and well, generally speaking, we are short and not easily understood.

But we are hard workers, can really pack a phone booth, apartment or a tunnel in Arizona, well, not Arizona anymore, and have drywall down to a science.

So, I am MEXICAN. My grandfather came from Mexico, moved to Minnesota, and now I am living four hours away from the US Mexico border and wonder why he ever left!

Someone buy me, AHORA! Or I will go loco and tag your house, m'aing!! Que sabes?!?!?!!!

PS, I really enjoyed this post, fellas.

Sam

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MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014

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#341237 - 10/01/10 09:26 AM Re: Why can't I own a Canadian? [Re: SamV]
EvanCan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/09/10
Posts: 170
I'll buy you, Sam. I definitely want a Mexican. Great food, great hair, great skin.
Did I mention great food?

Tengo tan hambre para un Mexican! Tan guapo!

;-)
ha!

_________________________
Hope Springs 2010 WoR Alumnus
"I'm here, and I'm on the mend."


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#341250 - 10/01/10 10:42 AM Re: Why can't I own a Canadian? [Re: EvanCan]
Avery46 Offline


Registered: 09/23/10
Posts: 1243
Loc: USA
ROFLMAO. This post is so to the point about keeping messages in context.

I needed the laughter this morning.

A

_________________________
aka DJsport

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#341269 - 10/01/10 03:30 PM Re: Why can't I own a Canadian? [Re: Avery46]
EvanCan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/09/10
Posts: 170
I just did some research in the text and discovered -- thankfully -- that I am not limited to purchasing only Canadians or Mexicans! (Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Canadians and Mexicans, but I hate to be limited in my choices.)

Leviticus 25:45 clarifies that one may buy as slaves "some of the temporary residents living among you and members of their clans born in your country." I know of some eastern Europeans living temporarily in my state. Fair game! In fact, verse 46 goes on to say that "you can will [the slaves] to your children as inherited property and can make them slaves for life." (Is that like Dobby in Harry Potter?) Who knew?!

MJ, based on this text, it sounds like Peruvians, too, would be fair game.

On the other hand, I may be more interested in selling myself to someone with a green card who has become wealthy here in the U.S. (see 25:47), so long as one my relatives will redeem me should things turn out badly (see 25:48). But, God, I don't want my uncle to redeem me (see 25:49) since he was one of my perps! (See, this thread DOES have to do with CSA after all!)

Why am I just now learning about this stuff?! crazy

_________________________
Hope Springs 2010 WoR Alumnus
"I'm here, and I'm on the mend."


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#341271 - 10/01/10 04:24 PM Re: Why can't I own a Canadian? [Re: EvanCan]
Avery46 Offline


Registered: 09/23/10
Posts: 1243
Loc: USA
ROFLMAO,

EvenCan you are so funny. I like your levity in this situation of taking the Bible's meaning literally.

Thankfully our soceity does NOT live this way or NOT only would I be an abomination BUT I would be sold to my perps - yikes.

Laughing so hysterically - and to think I used to preach about the WORD of God as being the only "truth" to life.

Geeders, thanks for sharing this.

A

_________________________
aka DJsport

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#341272 - 10/01/10 04:31 PM Re: Why can't I own a Canadian? [Re: Avery46]
EvanCan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/09/10
Posts: 170
Glad you are laughing.
For the record, I AM trying to be funny.
Don't want to offend. Just trying to stir up some laughs. Seems like we all need some!

Peace and Joy.

_________________________
Hope Springs 2010 WoR Alumnus
"I'm here, and I'm on the mend."


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#341276 - 10/01/10 04:42 PM Re: Why can't I own a Canadian? [Re: EvanCan]
Avery46 Offline


Registered: 09/23/10
Posts: 1243
Loc: USA
EvenCan,

I am very happy with your humor and I too am adding mine.

If you were being offensive then being gay and being of canadian decent would you buy me? LOL. JUST KIDDING.

On second thought - Buy sasuva so he does NOT go loco on anybody - we dont want that...lol

A

_________________________
aka DJsport

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#341278 - 10/01/10 04:51 PM Re: Why can't I own a Canadian? [Re: Avery46]
EvanCan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/09/10
Posts: 170
Avery,
If it were pre-recession and I were spending like a Kardashian, then I would certainly buy you.
But you know, times have been very hard these past few years and we're not out of the woods yet. Mexicans are so much more affordable, exchange rate, peso, and all.

So Sam's my next purchase. (Plus, I can't par-lay-voo any French-Canadian.)

_________________________
Hope Springs 2010 WoR Alumnus
"I'm here, and I'm on the mend."


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