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#33732 - 01/07/03 05:34 PM Church Law vs. Civil Law
Chey-Wy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/01/02
Posts: 241
Loc: Cheyenne, WY
If any of you saw yesterdays post you know that I had gotten an e-mail from my attorney but that it ended in the middle of a sentence. Evidently he hit send rather than save. Either way I got the completed e-mail today.

We have gotten a response from the church. Maybe what I should say is that we have gotten a response from the church's insurance company. The current insurance company is saying that they were not providing insurance coverage to the church at the time of my S A so this insurance company is NOT responsible for any further dealing with me or my attorney .... but will act as a liasion between my attorney and the church ....... "For the time being"

The Insurance guy did state though that the current minister at the church feels that what I need to do is to submit a complaint using the Presbyterian Book of Order. That way the grievance will be tried under Church Law. ......... but church law states that the victum needs to report the crime within one year of the date that it occured. F*** I didn't even know that I had been raped until 10 years later when I was talking to a friend and he told me that what had happened wasn't therapy but "rape" ... and even then I didn't want to believe it.

It is just so annoying that the church will not take any responsibility for what the MONSTER (the only word that I think I can use that will not get this post deleted) did to me .... and I very strongly believe others. HE RAPED ME .... HE STOLE A HUGE PART OF MY LIFE .... HE RUINED MY LIFE, and all the church is willing to say is ....."it is your problem .... deal with it"

I am so pissed right now that I can't think straight. I'll edit this later when I am not so angry (YEA RIGHT) Every thing the church does makes me angry.

_________________________
From the Song MOUNTAINS by Lonestar.

Yeah, the good Lord gave us mountains,
So we could learn how to climb

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#33733 - 01/07/03 05:48 PM Re: Church Law vs. Civil Law
andrew-almost52 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/31/02
Posts: 243
Loc: canada
Hi Chey, I am sure your attorney will look into suing the diocese, both local and national. Individual churches have little in the way of attachable assets. However, the national and state organizations do! Insurance or no insurance, they will have to offer compensation. The delays are just posturing Chey. They figure time will mitigate the damages.

A gentle nudge tho Chey. Don't let your life be ruled by the legal action and the church's response to it. I know it's frustrating and enraging .... but don't allow yourself to be victimized on a daily basis by not enjoying the life you have. Legal conflicts like this can take years and years to be resolved. Don't let the time slip by. \:\) Be kind to yourself every day. Think of something you would like to do, that would make you feel good, and then follow through and do it! Peace. Andrew


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#33734 - 01/07/03 06:42 PM Re: Church Law vs. Civil Law
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
Chey
the frustration that lawyers, insurance companies and institutions like the church create are enough to send us to therapy on their own. I don't envy your battle one bit, but I do wish you every success in your brave fight.

And call the 'monster' what you like Chey, I've called my monsters just about everything here at sometime or another. And it did make me feel better for awhile.

And I agree with Andrew, don't let it consume you. Let the lawyers do the work. Be as good to yourself as you possibly can.
Dave

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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#33735 - 01/07/03 09:42 PM Re: Church Law vs. Civil Law
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
John my friend, Andrew & Dave offer you some very good words right now.

The only words I could possibly add are some words for your monster, and for that so-called church. But I'll let you come up with your own.

And ditto Dave, if you need to use them here, then go for it, bro!

Victor

_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

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#33736 - 01/08/03 08:21 PM Re: Church Law vs. Civil Law
Chey-Wy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/01/02
Posts: 241
Loc: Cheyenne, WY
Thanks for the input everybody. I did talk with my attorney today. He is going to give the church one more week to find out who their insurance provider was at the time of my S A. He also stated that wether they had insurance at the time of the S A or they didn't makes no difference. They are still responsible.

The church did drop off a copy of the Presbyterian Book of Order to my attorney. In it is the guidelines and remidies for grievances against church personel and other members. But, according to the book of order all that will be done is a repremand given to my perp. My attorney laughed and said ..... "what will they do ... go to his grave and say naughty naughty boy."

Will the frustration ever end.

One slightly positive note. My attorney stated that if we need to go to trial ... the case will go from hourly to contingency. ( right now he was hoping that the case could be settled out of court and with him writing a letter to the church with our demands .... but it seems that the church wants the publicity of a public trial.)

I think I am ready to take them on. Church Law ....... Civil Law

I do know that my attorney said that the would be wise to settle out of court.

When we file we are going for

Actual damages
Punitive Damages
Compensitory damages
Pain and suffering
Mental anguish
Emotional distress

and every thing that they are doing now is only adding to my case against them.

I wish everyone the best in their own struggle

John

_________________________
From the Song MOUNTAINS by Lonestar.

Yeah, the good Lord gave us mountains,
So we could learn how to climb

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#33737 - 01/08/03 08:49 PM Re: Church Law vs. Civil Law
The Dean Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 07/15/02
Posts: 2080
Loc: Milwaukee, WI
Hi John,

The advice to not let this eat at you daily is good advice. If you trust your lawyer let him wrangle with them and keep you peace.

BUT, I know that you have a very real problem with your medical insurance. Is there any chance you can get help through Medicad, or welfare, I think they call it by some acronym, but it is medical help for people who cannot afford any insurance and I understand that is you--unless you come up with an extra $600.00+ each month.

I think if you can get some peace about that the other crap won't drive you nuts.

Bob

_________________________
If we do not live what we believe, then we will begin to believe what we live.

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#33738 - 01/09/03 03:10 PM Re: Church Law vs. Civil Law
Chey-Wy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/01/02
Posts: 241
Loc: Cheyenne, WY


My attorney called me to tell me that the church had dropped off a copy of the Presbyterian Book of Order. He had read through it and let me use it last night to try to figure out the churchs position.

Let me start by saying that by Presbyterian Law my attorney can not represent me. According to Church law any counsel used has to be a member of the church.

The next thing that is amusing is that the only action that will be taken against the "accused" is for him to be repremanded. There are 4 types of repremand.

A reprepramand

A strong repremand

A repremand with temporary removal from duties

And a repremand with Permanant removal from duties.

Also, with all 4 of the repremands the repremand is to end with a prayer for the healing of the church.

Whoop-tee-do. Let's slap all of our perps on the wrist .... tell them never to do it again ... and say a prayer that it will be all better.

Sorry .... I just don't think that a prayer is going to do it.

John

_________________________
From the Song MOUNTAINS by Lonestar.

Yeah, the good Lord gave us mountains,
So we could learn how to climb

Top
#33739 - 01/09/03 07:56 PM Re: Church Law vs. Civil Law
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
Quote:
According to Church law any counsel used has to be a member of the church.
they're above the law ??????

Dave

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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