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#336943 - 07/26/10 06:08 PM my recovery
wayne9 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/14/08
Posts: 161
Loc: alabama
I have some concerns about where I am in my recovery. I donít mean to make anyone feel bad about where they are at or want anyone to feel that I am saying that I am doing better than others.
I feel as if I am doing so much better. I have someone in my life that seems to be the right one. I canít explain the feelings that I have. I just know, or at least I think I know that I am so different now. I donít think about the past every minute of the day. There are actually days it donít cross my mind until I think about how I havenít thought about it today. My thoughts about being with HER are something I thought I would never know. Looking forward to seeing her the next time is constantly on my mind. I get sad when something happens and we are not going to get to be together as planned.
My concerns are this. Am I going through something that is normal in recovery and should this be a concern? Am I looking at a fall after feeling so good about things.

Tim


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#336944 - 07/26/10 07:01 PM Re: my recovery [Re: wayne9]
Casmir213 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/14/09
Posts: 845
Loc: Northeast, USA
It sounds to me like your more involved with life now than you were in the past. This could account for why you look back less and instead look forward to your experience of life with this person. I'd say that's a success in recovery to be able to achieve that and then notice it too the way you have. That definitely sounds like something to celebrate and be happy about. I'm glad you shared it with us.

As for worrying about falling back to where you once were. I don't think you'll ever get back to that point after having such a fulfilling experience with this person in your life. Of course, disappointment and discouragement seem to always follow successes for me. You may be the same way. If so, try to be aware that this is the "old tape" playing which keeps us on guard after good experiences. This old tape will most likely make us look at the negative instead of the positive side of things. But dispute that feeling or belief that good things don't last or that disappointment is what is always meant for me. Dispute it with real evidence that this is not how things are now. Look around and see the positives or your experience rather than the negatives. And then see how those old tapes are just plain wrong. For now though, enjoy your success. Stay involved with life. Don't back off because you fear falling. Continue to notice how much you've changed for the better. Seeing progress in myself always motivates me when I get down or discouraged.

I'm glad for your success,

Rocco

_________________________
I see recovery as a lifelong journey rather than a final destination, a journey, though, which can have many successes along the way.

WoR Alumnus - Hope Springs, OH, October 2009

My avatar is the farmhouse at the Hope Spring, OH WoR. It's a nice place.

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#336945 - 07/26/10 07:04 PM Re: my recovery [Re: wayne9]
BuryingJack Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/10
Posts: 101
Tim -

I'm not as educated in recovery as so many of the people on this site, but one thing I know for sure is that your recovery will be filled with ups and downs - always. The further you will go, the "less down" the downs will be - but you should prepare yourself for a fight, or a confrontation, or a disagreement - between you and her - because that's what relationships are about. Those things are normal - regardless of past abuse or not. Just wanted to throw that out there to make sure you were ok with a blip on the screen - a fight or a disagreement doesn't mean you're in bad shape. It means you're normal.

Chris
www.buryingjack.com


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