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#33669 - 11/19/03 01:26 PM Re: Where is my path? (trigger?)
Cement Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/05/02
Posts: 740
Loc: Southern California
Thank you everyone, especially wifey and dave. I do not mean to exclude anyone else, just that those are folks I feel I "know" (ironic, eh?) a little better, and dammit wifey, you made me cry (in a good way).

I do need to respond to one part of this whole discussion, which is:

I have put energy into the relationship with my wife, and continue to every day. I hug her, hold her, support her. I tell her everything will be all right. I tuck her and the baby in every night. My stepson has diabetes, and I give him his bedtime shot, and snack, then tuck him in as well, because his mother is inevitably sidetracked with the three month old. Her grandmother is staying with us in our one bathroom house, ostensibly to help out, but at 86, frankly, she just cannot help that much, nor really should she. I do not mean to litanize, but the flip answer that women are sooo tired and men never pay attention just doesn't hold water with me here.

Apparently along with being tired and guilty and sad and lonely, I am also pissed off. Great.

James

_________________________
And let the darkness fear our light.

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#33670 - 11/20/03 12:16 AM Re: Where is my path? (trigger?)
learning2remember Offline
Member

Registered: 10/21/03
Posts: 289
Loc: Europe
Hey,
Mine are 5 and 3, so I still remember how tough those first months are. I remember thinking the 3 month birthday would never come. The exhaustion was rough, along with pressure, anxiety, etc.

I decided to help out as much as I could, and what I discovered was that the more I helped, the more I got used to it, and eventually the more I was able to help.

Don't beat yourself up, just keep doing what you can. Keep moving in the right direction! You deserve the rewards that kind of life brings.

_________________________
"This is not my shame, this is their shame." Mona Eltahawy

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