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#336415 - 07/20/10 12:12 PM "Sentenced to Abuse"
Logan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/05/03
Posts: 1205
Loc: NY
Here is a great article.

It describes a lot of what happened to me, except I was not court ordered.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/chil...ions-facilities

Logan

_________________________
"Terrible thing to live in Fear"-Shawshank Redemption
WOR Alumnus Hope Springs 2009
"Quite a thing to live in fear, this is what is means to be a slave"
-Blade Runner

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#336422 - 07/20/10 01:05 PM Re: "Sentenced to Abuse" [Re: Logan]
kidneythis Offline


Registered: 11/08/09
Posts: 1558
Thank You Logan. That is exactly the sort of thing I was subjected to in a State/County institution, except you might want to imagine a German Concentration camp when you think of what I endured.
There is also the fact that I was dumped there by an Aunt who paid the woman to take me into the place. It was way understaffed and they had the older children "working" (they called it helping) in jobs paid adult staff should have been in. It was only made into an official thing when I was paralyzed and people started to ask about me. As part of the coverup of what happened to me they set a date that was either well before or well after I left the place for foster care to make it impossible to find any records of me if I did manage to recall later in life. They would tell me this stuff because they knew they were going to ECT me again and figured I'd never remember.

Those that were paid were, like the evil cow who took me in for money, morally degenrate scum.

That article describes how these people are convinced of their rightness my abusers knew they were wrong they watched my deterioration like watching a movie. Discussed it, reviwed it debated over whether or when they should switch to another method of abuse to see what it would do to me and so on. they had free reign and no one cared because I was w/o a family to stand up for me.

That my friend is the worst factoid of my life. I learned then that children who were unwanted or w/o family were regarded as legitimate targets even by the "normal" staff. They saw it in a very Spartan and cold way.
This is how I heard it rationalized; people abuse children. They might get my children especially if I don't know who they are. Let them work in a Children's Shelter and let them abuse those children who have no outside protection and they won't abuse my children because they'll have that outlet and we'll know who they are.

Sick I know but also very very New Jersey. If you manage to survive into adulthood you really are able to live anywhere else. Another of the Spartan rationalizations for wrong behavior.

_________________________
As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

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#336443 - 07/21/10 01:01 AM Re: "Sentenced to Abuse" [Re: kidneythis]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6867
Loc: USA
I have mentioned in another post how certain elements of governmental control (CIA and military) were actually looking for children to experiment on during the time frame during which you experienced it.

http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...6442#Post336442

Allen




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#336462 - 07/21/10 09:48 AM Re: "Sentenced to Abuse" [Re: pufferfish]
kidneythis Offline


Registered: 11/08/09
Posts: 1558
Allen,

In my case the actual infliction of abuse was done by fellow children (most of the time) within 4-6 years of my age under the direction of adults who stood away and spectated only interferring when it seemed I was getting the advantage. This is the thing that broke me mentally, the constant interferrence by the adults but only when I was getting the advantage. If I was succumbing to the abuse and suffering they would allow it to continue.

The reasoning for using the children was so that they could claim ignorance and say that it was "normal" kids competitiveness. I was copasetic with it when I believed I could compete fairly but I broke down as every victory and every advantage I had or achieved was taken away.

One of the crazy things they used to justify what they did was that I was freakishly strong for a child my size so they said this meant I was retarded and since I was retarded it was ok to do shit to me.
How strong? It took at a minimum 3 and usually 5 or more adults to hold me down when I escaped from the place which I did several times but there was a 6 foot wrought iron fence around the grounds and I couldn't get out so I'd run and run until I was coralled.








Edited by kidneythis (07/21/10 09:49 AM)
_________________________
As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

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