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#336368 - 07/19/10 08:51 PM Fear of Drowning
jls Offline


Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 1142
I went white water rafting for the first time in my life today. The day started with me being thrown from the raft and ending up being pinned under it after hitting a huge swell. I wasn't aware that this is what was happening at the time, being pinned under the raft I mean. Instead, I felt that someone was deliberately pulling me under and not allowing me to break the surface. While I was under the water I had an intense flashback from when I was 9 or 10 years old at summer camp where a larger kid purposely held me under water for several seconds. I had the same intense fear of dying by drowning today that I did back then. Funnily enough I hardly recalled my earlier experience until what happened to me today. Anyways in the end I was pulled from underneath the raft and back into the boat but it took me the better part of the rest of the day to recover physically and emotionally enough to carry on. Truth is I didn’t want to but I did. This bothers me since I am normally such an adrenaline junkie so I feel like I wussed out somewhat, especially since others in the raft who know me noticed my lack of composure as a result of what occurred. It felt completely out of character for me.

_________________________
Love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world.


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#336387 - 07/20/10 01:19 AM Re: Fear of Drowning [Re: jls]
usmc97 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 08/02/05
Posts: 437
Loc: Colorado
I fell in a river learning how to fly fish a couple of years ago, lost my balance because of the waders and slick rocks. As soon I hit the water my friend said I was "gone".

Warning.... too much information.

Anything cold can throw me into extreme flashbacks, I would have to sit in a tin metal tub of ice water pretty much after every session. My perps also drowned me as part of their torture a number of times. They did it in the ice water, cubes and all.... sometimes just dunking me over and over and other times holding my head under while they were raping me. One of the main guys was medically trained who would bring me back doing CPR and other stuff, he stepped in for a number of other things not letting me stay dead. He was also responsible for the surgical stuff.

To this day I have a really hard time having drinks with ice in it, just about always order water with no ice at restaurants. I have to be careful with anything cold, even the winter is very hard for me, just the cold air has potential to cause bad things.

_________________________
Semper Fi

The statistics? 1 in 4, 1 in 6?
...then there's me the imaginary number

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#336409 - 07/20/10 10:52 AM Re: Fear of Drowning [Re: jls]
kidneythis Offline


Registered: 11/08/09
Posts: 1558
jls,
That's a perfectly normal reaction even w/o the flashbacks. Don't be concerned for that. I suspect your friends sensed that.

I'm glad you did get back in and finish. Even with the abuse I still am a get back on the horse kind of guy. BTW way that little gem is about the person who is doing, not anyone else. It is meant to be a reminder to help prevent a person from regretting not trying or more accurately continueing on after a failed attempt at whatever it is.

You done good brother. Rafting hmmm I haven't done that yet maybe....;-]

_________________________
As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

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