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#336155 - 07/16/10 11:02 AM starting meds again
fhorns Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/10/02
Posts: 613
In my recent counseling session, my counselor saw similarities between a friend of his and myself. He had come off his meds, lost his job, and almost lost his family. He spotted this, and he had not even spoken to my wife, as I asked later. She too had wondered if going back on meds would curb my anger and fluctuating moods.

I was resistant at first, as I spent almost 2 years weaning off the meds. But when I realized I might be unreasonable due to moods (as can be common), I reconsidered. Part of it is knowing/feeling out of control of my anger, and also being aware my relationship with my wife has deteriorated.

So I made the call. Talked to my doctor, got the>


Edited by fhorns (07/16/10 11:19 AM)

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#336160 - 07/16/10 01:04 PM Re: starting meds again [Re: fhorns]
kidneythis Offline


Registered: 11/08/09
Posts: 1558
In my opinion most "meds" I'm guessing you mean anti-depressants like Lexopril or Xanax, don't change the mind so much as dampen excitability. I was on lexopril for a few years for migraines and I got used to it fairl quickly and don't think it modified how my mind worked.
I got more mentally modified when I was useing pot for pain. BTW pot only makes you not care, it doesn't take the pain away like opiates do. I have bad physical reactions to opiates. It also makes one very very stupid.



Edited by kidneythis (07/16/10 01:05 PM)
_________________________
As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

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#336161 - 07/16/10 01:09 PM Re: starting meds again [Re: kidneythis]
fhorns Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/10/02
Posts: 613
Kidney, I've heard that from people who got hooked on opiates. It's been a repeated theme among them: "they're just too easy to take."

I used to be on Lamictal and Keppra for the seizures, then Zoloft for depression. When I talked to my doctor, he first suggested Zoloft, but I prefer Lamictal since I know it is not an SSRI (anti-depressant) but a mood stabilizer. It's often prescribed for bi-polar patients. That's what I'm on.

Alfred


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#336162 - 07/16/10 01:20 PM Re: starting meds again [Re: fhorns]
kidneythis Offline


Registered: 11/08/09
Posts: 1558
Its not the addiction problem even though the last time I used them the doctor got me physically hooked then suddenly was out of town and no one would refill for me so I had to go cold turkey to get off them and started using alcohol again. This lead to me trying pot and drinking a lot for several years. I was very angry and swore I'd never let a doctor get me onto meds again. I now take about 25 pills a day. So much for that idea.
I've never had a drug addiction problem except for that.

The problem for me is that they lock up my colon like its full of cement.



Edited by kidneythis (07/16/10 01:22 PM)
_________________________
As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

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#336166 - 07/16/10 02:14 PM Re: starting meds again [Re: kidneythis]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6815
Loc: USA
Alfred,

It sounds good for you to take some meds as you describe. Looking back on my own recovery time, I think I would have done much better to have been on some good meds. I took zoloft for 1 1/2 years and I didn't think it helped but looking back on it now I see that it enabled me to pull out of my tail-spin.

Allen

pufferfish whistle


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#336168 - 07/16/10 02:22 PM Re: starting meds again [Re: pufferfish]
fhorns Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/10/02
Posts: 613
Thanks for the words Allen. I value your encouragement. Thank you.

Alfred


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#336354 - 07/19/10 04:49 PM Re: starting meds again [Re: fhorns]
fhorns Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/10/02
Posts: 613
You know what's weird and frustrating? I've been on these for almost 4 days now, and I feel.....detached.....from so much of my pain and anger.

I admit regret for not being able to feel so much of my pain. I don't know about many of you, but I found so much identity/belonging (?) in my pain here. With that came regular support and comfort from many of you. Scared to post that, but hell, it's the truth for me. I've held on to my pain, so I could find others to relate with. I guess I don't identify with "normal", or whatever that means.

Please, please, someone. I hope I'm not alone with this. Being around you guys has given me a hope I didn't have before in the midst of it.

In the back of my mind are stories about bipolar patients resistant to taking their meds regularly. Before, I never thought I could relate. DAMN!

No, I'm not planning/fantasizing about stopping. I'm just frustrated with the results.

Alfred



Edited by fhorns (07/19/10 04:50 PM)

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#336357 - 07/19/10 05:34 PM Re: starting meds again [Re: fhorns]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6815
Loc: USA
Alfred,

Is it that pain seems to validate our livelyhood?

I think I can remember being a little kid and falling off my bike and scraping my knee. The pain seemed to make life more real for a little while.

Allen


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#336360 - 07/19/10 05:53 PM Re: starting meds again [Re: pufferfish]
fhorns Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/10/02
Posts: 613
Yeah, Allen. Pain is "real"!!!!! Sharing it here, feeling it, validates me like no meeting or group has. It's been, genuinely, ME!!

I'll save myself from the rationalizations for right now. I just kind of miss feeling "connected".

(Does this make any sense???)


Alfred


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#336440 - 07/20/10 11:33 PM Re: starting meds again [Re: fhorns]
michael banks Offline


Registered: 06/12/08
Posts: 1755
Loc: Mojave Desert, Ca
Alfred,

I see using meds as aid.. just like insulin is for diabetics.

Mike

_________________________
To own one's shadow is the highest moral act of a human.
-Robert Johnson-

"IT ought never be forgotten that the past is the parent of the future" John C. Calhoun

WOR Alumni Sequoia 2009

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