This, and the thread about shaving, are quite moving to me. Thanks, Sobernow.
Like TJ, I also remember my maternal grandmother standing next to me in front of the toilet as a very little kid, encouraging me to pee in the water... My father didn't teach me to shave or pee or much of anything. And for some reason I felt deeply ashamed at the idea of asking him about anything like that. He wasn't necessarily a bad guy, and not a perp to me - he was just incredibly absent and withdrawn and out of it.
During the first few days of my freshman year of college, the incoming class was invited to a reception at the dean's home which was "jacket and tie," and I was panicked because I didn't know how to tie a necktie. I finally asked my freshman roommate to tie my tie for me, and I remember feeling totally humiliated and thinking, "Why didn't my father teach me to do this?"
PS. As to Sobernow's other question - I'm gay, and I only sit down to pee when I get up out of bed in the middle of the night, because it solves the, er, aim problem in the dark bathroom - and I hate turning the light on because it hurts my eyes