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#336015 - 07/14/10 11:11 AM Did your Dad teach you to Shave?
Sobernow Offline


Registered: 05/17/10
Posts: 256
Loc: Oklahoma
When I was going thru puberty - my dad never said anything about anything - sex, hair in weird places, or shaving. I remember sitting in the bathtub when I was very young in grade school and early Jr High - my dad would be naked in the bathroom shaving - I thought it was neat seeing the shaving cream and the razor - kinda risky stuff!..... seeing his hairy body.... thinking I would be like him some day.
But when I got older and started having some fuzz on my chin - he never said a word....... i felt ignored i guess ...... maybe he didn't notice I was a man......... actually i felt ashamed that my body was changing i guess.
I remember locking the bathroom door --- using his shave cream and his second razor and shaving - like it was a big secret I had to keep --------- he probably knew i used his stuff ------- but he never said a word. i felt invisible and ashamed.
i wish he would have taught me at least something about growing up. maybe bought me my own razor. or even made a big deal about the fuzz on my face --- and announced perhaps that I was now a MAN. although it may have embarassed me, at least i would have been recognized as a MAN.
now when i look back -- it makes me mad.........

can anyone here relate?



Edited by Sobernow (07/14/10 11:11 AM)

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#336016 - 07/14/10 11:15 AM Re: Did your Dad teach you to Shave? [Re: Sobernow]
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 11088
Loc: Denver, CO
My dad taught me nothing about growing up and changing. The lesson I got on shaving was minimal at best. I suspect it was more due to cluelessness on his part than just ignoring me. And I mean clueless. I asked him once why he never taught me the "facts of life," and the reply was that I never asked. i was wandering through that desert on my own.

_________________________
List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That


If I could meet myself as a boy...

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#336018 - 07/14/10 11:19 AM Re: Did your Dad teach you to Shave? [Re: FormerTexan]
Sobernow Offline


Registered: 05/17/10
Posts: 256
Loc: Oklahoma
I have a couple more things on my mind today I may post on. They mainly involve my dad or dad types of questions a young boy would have. I never got to ask them (he is dead now).
I feel like a young boy who has questions that were never asked - never answered.

It is weird to ask this shit.
Why have I never asked?
Why am I feeling the need to ask now?


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#336019 - 07/14/10 11:23 AM Re: Did your Dad teach you to Shave? [Re: FormerTexan]
kidneythis Offline


Registered: 11/08/09
Posts: 1558
Yup.

I was treated as an adult by almost everyone my whole life. That is only when it could be used to blame me for something, or shirk responsibility for not doing something having to do with me. It was real Spartan for me.
Everything I know I got on the streets one way or the other. I still learn things I should have been taught then every once in a while. I resented it only when I began to realize I had been deprived of it. Until then I asssumed I was defective for wanting to be taught and that was encouraged.

_________________________
As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

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#336023 - 07/14/10 11:36 AM Re: Did your Dad teach you to Shave? [Re: kidneythis]
Obi Online   content
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 1338
Loc: kansas
i was never taugh how to shave. i had to learn on my own. there was a lot of things that i had to learn on my own... part of the reason i ask similar questions that you are asking because i'm so ignorant....

but yeah, my dad didn't teach me how to shave..

_________________________
live another day. climb a little higher.

my story

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#336027 - 07/14/10 11:57 AM Re: Did your Dad teach you to Shave? [Re: Obi]
TJ jeff Offline

Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/07/04
Posts: 3369
Loc: Northern Wisconsin
my dad worked 60+ hours a week in a canning factory when I was a kid - he was always so wiped out from work that he hardly ever interacted with his 2 sons (unles it was to do something that "he" wanted to do)

he never really taught me how to shave - I think I might have seen him shaving a couple of times as a young kid when he'd come into the bathroom while I was in the bath/shower (but I really was'nt paying great attention to him because i was trying to clean my body to my mothers crazy standards (if she could rub your wet skin and get little balls of dead skin cells - then you where still a dirty little boy and would be in trouble))

when i started to shave I really had no clue... - I was afraid of cutting myself so i baught an electric shaver from the dept store i was working at - it was'nt untill i went into the military that I really learned how to use a razor

Keep asking questions... - it's how we learn that we are'nt alone in the things that we thought we where

_________________________
Who will cry for the little boy? - I will... - Antwone Fisher

Abuse happens in silence/isolation - Recovery happens only when that silence/isolation is broken...

TJ's History

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#336029 - 07/14/10 12:12 PM Re: Did your Dad teach you to Shave? [Re: TJ jeff]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6872
Loc: USA
My dad gave me an electric shaver. No words. He was "afraid" of me. He was a survivor and he still was very uneasy about his relationship to me.

Allen

pufferfish whistle

p.s. I watched him shave when I was a lad. That was my instruction. He had a razor blade sharpener. Remarkable invention. You insert a double-edged razor blade in it and turn the crank a bunch and you get a sharpened blade.





Edited by pufferfish (07/16/10 02:31 PM)
Edit Reason: p.s.

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#336033 - 07/14/10 12:42 PM Re: Did your Dad teach you to Shave? [Re: pufferfish]
sono Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/19/09
Posts: 1069
Nope Sobernow, my father didn't teach me to shave or pee. My perp gave me shaving lessons and some lessons about what you could do with the peeing member as well. No, dad taught me to be afraid of him and cringe at his touch and sound of his voice.

Kevin

_________________________
the family
the perp

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#336037 - 07/14/10 01:06 PM Re: Did your Dad teach you to Shave? [Re: sono]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6872
Loc: USA
My late wife (I don't know why I always say "late wife". She was always on time and I was always late smile ). Anyway, I was discussing with her how my father was always distant and remote and untouchable. At that time we didn't have any idea about CSA. She pointed out to me that it was the accepted concept of how men were to act with their families then. She even pointed out to me how Bill Cosby had made this information very public.

Allen

pufferfish whistle


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#336040 - 07/14/10 01:38 PM Re: Did your Dad teach you to Shave? [Re: Sobernow]
nltsaved Offline


Registered: 08/26/08
Posts: 849
Loc: Kc,Mo
i never new my dad growing up and for some reason the fact that i had to have a friend show me how to shave has always bothered me for some reason. i have even brought it up to my wife how i had to go through life without the basics being shown to me. but the good thing is that i can show my 3 sons how to shave and the "basics" of growing up. but it is kinda cool to no that i am not the only one thinking about the little things that matter to me . that might not matter to someone else.

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