Newest Members
GKB, MorganWut, myrlin, AaronS, BookHouseBoy
12465 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
cyrus (44), Dupe1978 (36), James_Is_Talking (36), K-man (58), LordShiningStarr (36), ricky (51), Shawn Hope (29), teresa (42), Warner82 (32)
Who's Online
3 registered (tbkkfile, Sonata1, 1 invisible), 21 Guests and 5 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12465 Members
74 Forums
63998 Topics
446693 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 1 of 3 1 2 3 >
Topic Options
#33597 - 03/09/04 07:22 PM what would you say....
irishguy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/01/04
Posts: 231
Loc: Dublin, Ireland
hey guys,

i asked myself this question during the day...and i found it hard to answer myself,i just wanna see what you guys think,

you dont have to answer if you dont want to..

Q: IF you seen your abuser again,what would you want to say to them?

i dunno if i should be askin this question or not..

cheers,
Go raibh míle maith agaibh as bhur gcúnamh!

_________________________
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat.

Top
#33598 - 03/09/04 09:25 PM Re: what would you say....
crisispoint Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 2154
Loc: Massachusetts
Hello, Irish,

I've thought about this question so many times, I can't tell you. I've DREAMT about geting the opportunity fot it, because I doubt it'll ever happen. Here goes.....

"I know what happened, you son of a bitch, I just want to hear if you really thought an 11 year old boy was ready for that kind of mature, sexual relationship.

I blocked it out for so many years that some of the details elude me, so answer me honestly, if you have the balls.....

TRIGGERTRIGGERTRIGGERTRIGGER

Did you rape me?
Did you abuse me?
Did you try to kill me?
WHY DID YOU DO IT?!?!?!

ENDTRIGGERENDTRIGGERENDTRIGGER


That, and LLoydy says, a sure, quick kick to the balls.

I may not be able to stop after one.... \:\(

Peace and love, and healing boyo. Lord knows you deserve it.

Scot

_________________________
There are reasons I'm taking medication. They're called "other people." - Me, displaying my anti-social tendancies

fromacuriousmind.blogspot.com
malehurtandsurvive.blogspot.com

Top
#33599 - 03/09/04 09:36 PM Re: what would you say....
irishguy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/01/04
Posts: 231
Loc: Dublin, Ireland
i dunno what i would say,
i wanna say so much,
i want him to know how much i hate him..

_________________________
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat.

Top
#33600 - 03/10/04 04:14 PM Re: what would you say....
ecb Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/04/03
Posts: 205
I'd probably either run away or just beat the ever loving shit out of him.

Most likely the former since I ran the risk of seeing him at his brother's viewing and left right away so that I wouldn't. \:\(


Top
#33601 - 03/10/04 10:53 PM Re: what would you say....
Leosha Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/18/03
Posts: 3614
Loc: Right here
Hello,

My abuser, he was a sport coach I went to for many years. Because I remained active in the sport after leaving him, i still had occasion to see him quite often in the years since. For the first several years, I always had feeling of fear and disgust, because always, he would find occasion to talk to me at competition or practice, or touch me even, and still had so much power over me. I did not start addressing dealing with the abuse until just last year. Prior to having to see him again (I do coaching now), I wrote and sent him a letter, saying very much the angry things I wished to say to him. I knew, and did not expect him to apologize or accept any responsibility, and he didn't. The next time I seen him at a competition, there was a confrontation, which became physical at one point, and I allowed him to harm me again. But I know now that it will not happen again, I was not prepared for that confrontation, but now I am better. I know that I will have to see him again later this month, and I feel more prepared for that.

Leosha

_________________________
Avatar photo in memory of my younger brother Makar.

"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."~~~Martin Luther King Jr., 1963

Top
#33602 - 03/10/04 11:22 PM Re: what would you say....
flea Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 03/10/04
Posts: 6
Loc: wpg ,canada
i would tell the male doc that he damaged me for life.i have no trust in them any more.i think that i would resort to violence.he realy hurt me.


Top
#33603 - 03/10/04 11:30 PM Re: what would you say....
survive75 Offline
Member

Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 304
Loc: Massachusetts
Like most of us here, I have imagined this over and over in my mind a million times.

I have my revenge fantasy of wanting to hold him at gunpoint and tell him about every way the abuse has affected me... from age 4 on up. I dream of doing really sick stuff to him... putting the gun in his mouth to let him wonder when I'm going to shoot, beating the shit out of him and making him apologize for doing what he did over and over, make him plead with me for the pain to stop... etc. etc. etc. Basically, I dream of having control over him for once.

Then, there is a much quieter fantasy for me, but in some ways it is stronger than the revenge dream. If I knew it couldn't backfire, I would kill for him to come to me and tell me he knew what he did was wrong, and that he never should have done it, and that he did it because someone had done the same to him. This fantasy brings me to tears sometimes, it is so strong. I want to believe it wasn't just him being vicious, or getting pleasure out of hurting a little kid, or that it wasn't me that deserved it.

I know that's probably not exactly what you were looking for... for me, it's not about what I would say, but about wanting him to feel. Feel something... anything. Either feel the pain I endured until he understands what he truly did to me, or feel ashamed and humbled by his realizations and know that he worked to figure out why he did those things to me. Sometimes I think I would give my life just to have him tell me why he did it and say he was sorry for hurting me.

This a totally lame reference, but it stuck with me from the movie "Ever After." Drew Barrymore asks her stepmother if she ever loved her at all, even the littlest bit. And her stepmother says something like, "How can you love a pebble in your shoe?" And that is how I feel... despite the fact that my stepfather tortured me for four years of my life, I desperately wanted him to love me, to be the father I didn't have, I wanted to please him, and all I got was abuse and humiliation and pain.

Wow... didn't expect to bring all of that up tonight... hope this helps Irish.

-Sean

_________________________
-Sean

"Even though I know/I don’t want to know/Yeah I guess I know/I just hate how it sounds"

Top
#33604 - 04/13/04 11:11 PM Re: what would you say....
blacken Offline
Chatroom Moderator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 08/13/01
Posts: 1285
Loc: Northern Ohio
I'd say, "Hey, guess what you Evil fucking piece of Devil shit?" "I'm going to kick your ass, and your going to say 'thank you very much' when I'm done, and not tell a soul"...

_________________________
Everyone is a genius! If you were to judge a fish, by its ability to climb a tree,
it would think it was stupid all of it's life.
~Albert Einstein

Top
#33605 - 04/13/04 11:29 PM Re: what would you say....
theo Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/28/03
Posts: 1122
i don't think i would say a single word...i would just look at them. once they lock eyes, they would know.

_________________________
journey well,
theo dewolfe

- It is gift, and gift will find its way
- I inherit through my choice. I build through my affirmation. It is through my freedom that I nurture, or fade into autonomy
- I was not given to serve life, but to embrace it

Top
#33606 - 04/13/04 11:33 PM Re: what would you say....
MikeNY Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/07/04
Posts: 927
Loc: NY
I would tell them everything that I think about them directly to their face and tell them exactly what they are, a wild animal, a predator, a rapist, a sex offender, a piece of human garbage that preys on people's trust.

_________________________
"Every child asks the questions which hold the answers to the secrets of the universe, WHAT?, and WHY?". --Me

Top
Page 1 of 3 1 2 3 >


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.