Hi,

Is it possible to customize the way the Active Topics page comes up so that the "Friends and Family" list can be removed? I really hate seeing these women complain about how miserable it is being with a survivor in the little clips that come up. I know I'm not the only one.

Thanks,

K

Your comment got me thinking. How do you think people would react to men who were the same way about their relationship with a female survivor?

Just the same, I think those men and women who love and care for those of us who are survivors have the right to say "It's hard".

The only thing harder than living with a survivor, is being one.

-efm

sono,

The short answer to the question is no, it's not something that can be done without rewriting the site software which could of course be done for a price but I doubt the organization would be willing to foot that bill. That being the case I think Mark addressed the issue quite well with his answer.

John

John,

Thanks for the response.

Kevin

After speaking with a member of the Family and Friends forum yesterday I was encouraged to provide a clarification for my initial post since I was not so elegant in describing my initial thoughts.

My point was that male survivors with girlfriends and wives can be particularly sensitive to the issues that they bring to those relationships and when in the first few lines of a post a girlfriend or wife expresses things which may have to do with displeasure over certain aspects of their relationship it is easy as a survivor to read that on the active topics page without seeking it out and then think to themselves, "I wonder if my wife or girlfriend would say that about me?". In other words, those opening lines can be very triggering to a fragile survivor and burst whatever self confidence they are trying to build up within the context of those relationships. My point was not in any way that Family and Friends should not have a voice, or that their concerns are any less valid or important. I was merely asking if it was technically possible for the male survivor to set his own preferences with regard to the active topics page and how it is viewed on his own computer.

Sorry for any misunderstanding or offense...both were unintentional.

thanks,

Kevin

As far as I know there are no options available to set personal preferences for the Active topics portion of the website. It is a legitimate concern to be sure but little we can do in the way of a fix without spending funds that would have to be spent again every time there was a site software upgrade.

Let me talk to Nathan and see if there's any way of setting the Control Panel preferences for F&F so that they don't show up in Active topics. I think that's going to be about the only possible solution to the question raised if it can even be done in that manner.

Interestingly enough I think I've been on the site somewhere near 5 years and could probably count on the fingers of one hand the number of times I've used the active topics feature. I can see where it would be useful but somehow never got in the habit of using it.

John,

Thanks again for your second reply. I appreciate your looking into it but it's certainly not a burning concern. Fascinating though is to see how differently people can use the site. I exclusively use the active topics to see what new posts have come in for all forums in case there something somewhere that might help. I'm looking for it any place I can! lol

all the best,

Kevin