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#334080 - 06/18/10 12:39 PM Joking and teasing as Judgment and empowerment
MrCompassion Offline


Registered: 03/30/10
Posts: 11
Hey guys

i feel judged and controlled by my girlfriend when she jokes with me or trying to tease me.
it feels like she want to empower me by teasing and joking with me.And i do not joke nor tease her because i am afraid she thinks i am judging her or controlling her or trying put her down or empower her

Thanks for any comment


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#334081 - 06/18/10 01:02 PM Re: Joking and teasing as Judgment and empowerment [Re: MrCompassion]
Builders Offline


Registered: 06/10/10
Posts: 11
Loc: AZ
In the beginning that was the way it was for me also! I had to learn who I was and learn to laugh at myself. I learned that she really loved me. She is still here after 25 years of recovery!!! Sometimes that is a very amazing fact for me still. The perp toke everything away from you! Learn to Love,Laugh,and forgive!! This takes time and a lot of work, but can be done!!!! Take your life back.

_________________________
If you want to be truely free!! You must learn to LOVE, and FORGIVE!! You can't have one without the other

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#334094 - 06/18/10 04:15 PM Re: Joking and teasing as Judgment and empowerment [Re: MrCompassion]
kidneythis Offline


Registered: 11/08/09
Posts: 1558
What do you mean by empower?

_________________________
As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

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#334100 - 06/18/10 06:04 PM Re: Joking and teasing as Judgment and empowerment [Re: kidneythis]
MrCompassion Offline


Registered: 03/30/10
Posts: 11
Builders, i am trying take my life back, some days it feels like i am healed and some days, it feels like i am getting worst. But yes, i will never give up and try always to improve myself, i deserve this

Kidneythis, Thank you very much for asking me this question. It lead me to seek an answer and i found something new about myself.
it just hit me that i have a belief that when somebody joke with me and teases me. I believe they do that because they want to control me and empower me and muniplate me to have power over me. it is not a playfull agenda behind that, in my belief it is like by joking and teaseing they want to empower me and manuiplate me. wow, i dont know where it comes from but it feels really like when people joke with me, they are judging me, ciritisizing me, finding fault with me, want to make me look weak, making fun of me, i beilieve it is everything but not that she do that because she likes me or she want me have fun..really distorted thinking. it is a lot of more i guess, but this is what comes in my mind right now


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#334144 - 06/19/10 09:37 AM Re: Joking and teasing as Judgment and empowerment [Re: MrCompassion]
kidneythis Offline


Registered: 11/08/09
Posts: 1558
I think I understand you. The jokes come across to you as abuse. The word Empower is being used incorrectly here. Empower means; to promote the self-actualization or influence of.
I think what you mean to say is disempower which means; to deprive of power, authority, or influence : make weak, ineffectual, or unimportant.

I'm not sure how else to comment.

_________________________
As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

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#334159 - 06/19/10 11:48 AM Re: Joking and teasing as Judgment and empowerment [Re: kidneythis]
MrCompassion Offline


Registered: 03/30/10
Posts: 11
Yes, that is what i mean. thanks for the right word. I mean the joke makes me feel unimportant.


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