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#333995 - 06/17/10 05:51 PM Touching
king tut Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/13/08
Posts: 2466
Loc: UK
I have quite sensitive skin, it is strange. I get really ticklish sometimes when touched on my stomach or body. I used to be really ticklish when i was younger too but i thought that usually goes away when you get older. For me it hasn't. Do you think this is related to being abused- the idea that for a long time i must have avoided people touching me, so that i am not used to it? Does anyone else experience this?

_________________________
"...until lambs become lions"

I love you, little lewis, and i will never leave you. We are the same. You brighten my day, and i will make sure that i brighten yours. Hugs and kisses.


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#333997 - 06/17/10 07:01 PM Re: Touching [Re: king tut]
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 11084
Loc: Denver, CO
It could relate to being abused. I tend to think it leans more towards who we trust. I stopped being so ticklish a couple years ago. This kid I know tried to tickle me and I was non-responsive. I'm not sure what changed, but I was glad it had gone away.

_________________________
List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That


If I could meet myself as a boy...

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#333999 - 06/17/10 07:28 PM Re: Touching [Re: FormerTexan]
kidneythis Offline


Registered: 11/08/09
Posts: 1558
I had this problem. It lasted well into my thirties. Looking back it was because of unconscious fear based tension from the abuse. Also the inability to trust women because of the abuse by my aunt.
I got in shape and blossomed as a person at least in the sense I finally got to be active and do things the people I'd always been around until then discouraged. It was liberating and a lot of the fears I had carried all my life because of this discouragement left or diminished.

I started to get massage to keep my muscles limber and remove knots as I was doing some serious physical activities. It took years of going in and getting a massage to learn to relax and tell them what not to do. Some women really resented that I wore shorts and would pull my pants partially down to get access to the top of my buttocks. This really caused tension and well I never spoke up.
I did learn to be calm and not ticklish while being touched on my body and legs especially. My legs were the worse. I really feared being sexually aroused. That was one of the things done to arouse me when I was abused by my brother.

Now since I was injured ten years ago I haven't had many massage. I'm getting them now for an injury and I was reminded about the pulling the shorts down thing the last two times the girls did it. I had a horrible night last night and this post and thinking about it has reminded me about that issue. I am resolved to speak up in advance and say "I wear my shorts and I'd like you to leave them as they are" or something like that. Guy massuese don't do it. ? IDK why thats what encourages my belief that the women resent the shorts because the get off on guys ass's.

I went off again sorry. It will change if you want it too I don't know if you are also fearful and tense when this happens as I was/am but either way learning to relax, for me it was finding something that worked for me like meditation works for others. For me it was exercise and long distance road bicycling. Now I'm not ticklish I just get really tense when they pull them down like that which ruins the whole massage.

_________________________
As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

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#334013 - 06/17/10 08:14 PM Re: Touching [Re: kidneythis]
king tut Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/13/08
Posts: 2466
Loc: UK
Thanks for your replies Andy and Kidneythis. I think trust probably does have quite a lot to do with it. Also pattycakes gave me some insight on this, and suggested about being over-tickled when i was young. I do remember being tickled a lot, and it could be really uncomfortable (and when you say stop i am going to pee why does nobody ever take you seriously???). Also my dad used to do this thing that he called "the claw". It was a cross between tickling and pain. What he would do is use his hand with the fingers pointed out so that they are rigid and, i don't know how to explain it, i think you understand, it is like tickling but harder so that it pushes into your muscle, and do it to my stomach. It would make me go crazy, it is a completely strange feeling and you can't get out of it. Anyway, being tickled a lot and hard like that may have made me more tickly now, or it could be a reaction from being tickled a lot. Or the fact that it was my dad doing it. Also at the hair dressers when they put the sheet thing over you and they have to tuck it in to the back of your neck that would be really ticklish! they would have to do it especially gentle (not that that has anything to do with it, it's just something i remembered).

Lewis

_________________________
"...until lambs become lions"

I love you, little lewis, and i will never leave you. We are the same. You brighten my day, and i will make sure that i brighten yours. Hugs and kisses.


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#334017 - 06/17/10 08:27 PM Re: Touching [Re: king tut]
kidneythis Offline


Registered: 11/08/09
Posts: 1558
I think you've found something here with the sensitive skin idea. That describes what I was dealing with pretty well. It maybe a side effect of having been abused and disrespected like as you say no one listenig when you asked them to stop.

_________________________
As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

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#334066 - 06/18/10 11:04 AM Re: Touching [Re: kidneythis]
TJ jeff Offline

Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/07/04
Posts: 3368
Loc: Northern Wisconsin
it could be that your fathers tickle torture could have hypersensitized you - it is a possibilty - though some people are just naturaly ticklish

I know that when I was a young kid I was highly ticklish - my brother used to hold me down and tickle me till I was laughing so hard it litteraly hurt (even mom did it a few times) - no matter what I said he would not stop - he did make me wet myself a few times - it was a game to him - but... over time I seemed to build up a resistance to tickling - the game got boring for him and he finally quit - for many years I was not very ticklish - but now that the M.D. is showing itself more my muscles are tighter and it seems to make my skin much more sensitive (ticklish) (though i can still block most of it out mentaly though)

_________________________
Who will cry for the little boy? - I will... - Antwone Fisher

Abuse happens in silence/isolation - Recovery happens only when that silence/isolation is broken...

TJ's History

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#334076 - 06/18/10 12:18 PM Re: Touching [Re: TJ jeff]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 1991
Loc: durham, north england
I was the same about the tickling, I've always associated it with the general idea that I'm naturally a fairly tactile person (a consequence of synaesthesia). This is probably why i get on with dogs and other animals so much, sinse I'm quite happy with touch at that point and can communicate successfully through touch.

With people though, touch, ---- stil more tickling is absolutely out. i'd absolutely freak if someone attempted to touch my legs or stomach, in fact I've had periods where even giving someone a hug is difficult, ---- something which I know has caused a lot of pain to my mum sinse we've always been close.

Part of it for me though, is that it feels often as if I have no personal space. Not only was I publically touched as a teenager, but people seem to think that because i have disfunctional eyeballs I have no right to personal space or integrity at all.

I only have to walk down the street for someone to attempt to grab my arm, or even put a hand against my ribs and push me. I react extremely badly to this, becoming physicaly stiff and shrugging people off forcefully, not to mention lashing out verbally.

I do feel slightly guilty about this, but when people do it it feels as Iif I'm being treated not as a person, but as an object, a thing, ---- almost like being abused again and I'd do anything to avoid that situation.

The sad thing is, I'm naturally extremely tactile and get a lot of pleasure out of my sense of touch in other areas not connected with people.

I really don't know what to do about this, the idea of massage has always bothered me extremely, and indeed on occasions when I've been involved in group hugs or the like, it's felt distinctly uncomfortable.

I'm sorry this sort of got away from me, ---- however if anyone has any suggestions I'd appreciate hereing them.


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