Matty,

Thank you for your candid report about your experience.

Before I went into EMDR, I had done a lot of memory work. Therefore I wasn't surprised by any new memories coming up in EMDR. But what I was surprised by were the emotions. Most of the EMDR sessions went into the torture and abuse I experienced at age 12. Remembering those emotions and feelings of those experiences rattled my cage.

Allen

pufferfish

Matty,

I want to reply to my own post instead of editing it.

I was abused by my grandfather also. It has been the most difficult abuse to remember. So I really understand where you are coming from on that. It is really difficult to bring it up. It seems from your pictures that you had a close family and that your grandfather "seemed" close. That makes it so much more difficult for you.

Allen

pufferfish

Allen,

Thank you for the very kind response. I do think all those childhood photos I posted on the members side paint a picture of closeness in my family, and that's accurate. Since disclosing, my parents have been struggling a great deal with accepting what went on under their own roof for several years.

~Matty

Matty:
It sounds like the therapist was gung-ho to do EMDR on you without proper preparation (or evaluation that it was the best format to go). I tell clients that EMDR is not a memory "recovery" tool. Memories that come up may be true or they may not. At least that was in the training I got 15 yrs ago.

It is pretty common to be exhausted later or the next day, that's why I tell people not to plan to go to work following a session. Perhaps you can process with her what went on/wrong with the experience. I never schedule two back-to-back since it is important to process what happened, also I spend time at the end of the session to talk about it rather than send the person home to deal with the thoughts and feelings.

I was dazed and confused after my first session and my anger was way up. I had to drive just drive and could not go home at first. As the days went on my anger over the issue we used in the session disapated and began to get more perspective. My T and I continue to use it and just as Ken said I make sure I have processing or rest time after it.

Kutcher

I agree with what Matty said. As for therapists and their training, I would make sure your therapist is certified in EMDR before they begin. Here's a good resource to find out which therapists in your area are certified and which are simply practicing without proper training:

http://www.emdria.org/displaycommon.cfm?an=1&subarticlenbr=17

Chris
www.buryingjack.com

Be careful, anyone one of us can take the course which is very short one day I think and be "certified" in EMDR there is no requirment that one be a psychologist or any kind of medical Dr.

I'd make certain the person I was doing it with was a psychologist with many years experience with Trauma and EMDR before I tried it.

Thats funny Chris one of the PhD's who bailed on me after getting a grand in cash from me is on that list and never once told me. Her reason for bailing was she isn't qualified to treat me for my trauma.

Just to clarify, EMDR training from a certified EMDR trainer is open only to mental health professionals with at least a Masters degree in a related subject (psychology, social work, LPC etc.)

If they are listed on the EMDRIA site, they would have had to produce the proof of their education and licensing (if appropriate) and complete the two day training (for level 1) and ditto for level 2. Again, some things may have changed since I took the training more than 10 yrs ago but you can get the details on the EMDRIA site.

Btw, not all licensed professionals are qualified in all areas and it is a good idea to refer to the "Consumers Guide to Therapist Shopping" to ask the right questions.

Thanks Ken I appreciate your perspective and understand the need to show the positive side of EMDR but this womans advertised specialty was child abuse and, trauma. It is why I chose her. She never mentioned EMDR to me and her dismissal was quite a betrayal considering the circumstances of my arrival at her practice. I was gaunt and hadn't slept well in weeks. I had been manipulated and abused by many people and denied the care I needed. She just added to it.
I don't have any proof about the EMDR my comment is based on a website I saw a while ago that made no mention of qualifications to sign up for the training.
She like all the scum PhD's I've seen locally, saw the damage and the legal implications and bailed out on me with no regard for my health or welfare. At least she isn't one of the lowlife's that tried to make me think I had a different problem to divert me down a fruitless path and avoid dealing with it altogether. Trying to convince me the confusion created by this diversion was the symptom of the diversionary problem.

People here in general live fear based lives. These professionals seem to me to be terrified fo the prospect of having to do the part of their job that has to happen for almost everyone of them if they are honest, which is testifyuing about what they think caused a persons problem. This fear had been created by insurance companies and their (the Dr.s) prejudice against me in particular. I have been medically blacklisted here for at least 4 years and possibly 6. I suspect I am suspect to them because og my reporting what that surgeon did to me 10 years ago and my apparent symptomology created by my almost unconscious ability to hide my problems and appear normal combined with that lack of ability to describe the pain and issues doesn't make it less easy to believe this.
I also have the habit I now realize is due to my lonliness of being jovial flirtatious and happy when I am being treated well in a therapeutic situation and I try to engage on that level to fulfill the needs of lonliness as I know it will end abruptly as it always has. I've done that since childhood even in the shelter I was doing this. It was a survival technique.

Humph, maybe that is why I didn't get help then?

Anyway I'm an adult and expect to be taken at my word, especially by my doctors.