Something that seems really strange to me. If what was done to me was abuse…….and if abuse is bad……Why at the age of 48 would I have wants and desires to have the same acts that was done to me as a kid done to me now. Something that has ruined my life in ways. Something that has caused me to miss out on some many normal things in life. Why do I think this way. It sounds completely insane….
Tim

Hi tim

I'm not sure how long you've been in recvery or what resources you have taken advantage of-I had thoughts and desires for years that I now see were directly tied to my csa-parts of me even adjustd them over the years even tho the csa was deeply repressed to my conscious mind.

Traumatic and abusive introduction to sex really messed me up in ways I am still dealing with. I have abstained from acting out these patterns sexually for eight years now, and found/learned healthy ways of relating to the world and of being sexually intimate and emotionally vulnerable and supported .

In my mind I tried to rewrite the>

Tim,

You might find this "Ask the Sex Doc" post helpful.

http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showthreaded&Number=331257#Post331257

If this link doesn't work (I'm a computer clutz), then you can go to the "Ask the Sex Doc" forum and check out the "what causes someone to eroticize" post.

Rocco