"I know, still, somehow, that not all of this world is a twisted ruin."
I think you are absolutley right. Its not all a twisted ruin, 'tho there are many days it seems like that doesn't it? So much hurt. So much disappointment. So much bloody reality that it hurts.
I'm not entirely sure I understand what your plan for the immediate future is. But I will say that a member here contacted me, and asked me to reach out to you as they are concerned about you, and your immediate future.
If you are saying that you are leaving your current environs for points unknown, I wish you a safe, and hopefully pleasant journey. God knows the one you been through recently would have destroyed any faith left in "the system", or mankind as a whole, and quite likely made me want to leave for other places, other people as well. You have a right to be able to be safe. That's what you are hoping for with your quote ^^^ up there^^^ isn't it?
On the other hand, if you are saying you are going to harm yourself, please contact one of the local crisis units near you immediately. I know the last time you did that resulted in more injury, and no one, including you deserves that. I have no magic words, or even an explanation as to how that happened, other then to say when you are able, you might want to contact a lawyer and sue the hospital's corporate assets!
Again, I'll say if you are planning on hurting yourself, please reconsider, and remember there are people here who think you are worth it. Please know that they care about you enough to contact me, so that I could stick my paw out to you, as one of your critter friends might do you to you to tell you they cared. Please call a Crisis line immediately.
Please check in again soon to let us know how you are doing. Ok?
My name is Jim
WoR Mysthaven 2008, Level 2 WoR Alta 2009, Kirkridge 2010, 2011, Oprah 200 men