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#332569 - 05/30/10 06:08 PM Alcohol and Trauma
jls Offline


Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 1142
I saw a new therapist last week and talked to her about my sa and my drinking. I was totally expecting the usual response, as in you need to quit now, go to AA etc, but what she said was that in her experience as a therapist it is not reasonable for an abuse survivor to try to deal with past traumatic experiences while taking away something like drinking at the same time. Instead we discussed working on strategies to reduce my drinking in a safe way while working on trauma issues at the same time. This felt so refreshing to me. Itís especially hard for me since the sexual abuse happened while I was under the influence of alcohol (thanks to my perps providing it) so I guess I've been self-medicating all along. I do wish to do something about my drinking because it simply doesnít feel fun anymore. Rather, it has become a form of maintenance, as in I am terrified of being alone or going to bed sober. Part of this is my fear of withdrawal, which is bad enough, but I am also afraid of the dreams I will have. As it stands they are awful enough but with enough alcohol in my system they can be contained. I remember parts of them the next day but they donít hit me like a ton of bricks so Iím afraid that if I take drinking completely out of the picture my dreams will immobilize me. I hope Iím not coming across as making excuses for my drinking. Far from it. I just donít want to take on and take away too much too soon, if this makes any sense. JS

_________________________
Love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And weíll change the world.


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#332576 - 05/30/10 08:11 PM Re: Alcohol and Trauma [Re: jls]
catfish86 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/27/09
Posts: 821
Loc: Ohio
Actually, I have had three therapists who all said, despite my wife's protestations, that since I limited my drinking to 2 drinks a day that they don't want to take a functioning coping mechanism without first having an alternative coping mechanism in place. They have all told my wife that she would not like the consequences of that in their experience. That being said, I have not had a drink in four days. I also gave up all sugared drinks. This is partly as a weight issue, partly as a kind of religious fast (kind of like during Lent). Ultimately, with chiropractic adjustments and techniques to calm me taught by a certified trauma specialist, I feel safe in letting go of some of my safety mechanisms.

_________________________
God grant me
The Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The Courage to change the things I can,
And the Wisdom to know the difference.

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#332636 - 05/31/10 09:08 AM Re: Alcohol and Trauma [Re: jls]
kidneythis Offline


Registered: 11/08/09
Posts: 1558
jls,
I think when the time comes to stop you will find you are far stronger than you think and the thing you fear isn't as bad as the dread of it.
Good Luck Brother and remember to eat well alcohol drains the body of life.

EDIT
I just saw your post about eating. I didn't know when I posted the above. I know this, alcohol provides a lot of calories so that may be why you don't feel the need to eat as much.
The vomiting is probably from the drinking and the smoking doesn't help. I'm a fan of coffee but not alone for breakfast. Have you thought of trying to eat something high protien in the morning after your stomach settles? I like beans, I always keep a crock with some ready to eat in it. Not spicy just garlic, cumin and salt (to me thats not spicy ;-)
I feel ya brother I remember those days. Maybe a powder vitmin supplement you can mix with juice and fruit in a blender to keep the nutrition up? Ask you T or Doctor but anything that increases your nutritional intake will make you feel better and more able to face things.

Just remember it isn't how often you fall but how often you get up that counts. I'm pulling for ya.



Edited by kidneythis (05/31/10 09:19 AM)
_________________________
As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

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#332656 - 05/31/10 04:20 PM Re: Alcohol and Trauma [Re: kidneythis]
jls Offline


Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 1142
When I used to work overnights I was a fan of big breakfasts when I got home like eggs, sausages, and like you said, beans, topped with salza and sour cream. However, when I'm just waking up I don't have the appetite for all that. I usually skip breakfast all together and eat much later in the day. I could do like I did when I was bicycle messaging though. Even then I didn't have an appetite in the morning but I would force myself to eat something or else my stomach would feel like ti was eating itself. A muffin with my coffee would usually suffice. JS

_________________________
Love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And weíll change the world.


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#332659 - 05/31/10 04:54 PM Re: Alcohol and Trauma [Re: jls]
kidneythis Offline


Registered: 11/08/09
Posts: 1558
I mention the beans for several reasons. I too have morning nausea fairly often.
One it is important to get protein first thing in the day.
Secondly I cook the beans with the spices mentioned and add a bit of cooked squash which turns into the sauce as i keep reheating it. It was pointed out to me when I was feeling bad that I hadn't been eating right and since I didn't feel well enough to cook properly very often it was pointed out to me that the Myans had a near perfect nutritional diet in the three staples Corn (you can substitute rice), Beans, squash. This provides all the essential amino acids and proteins one needs
Thirdly when I did it within a day I felt a new man, and when I slack and eat hamburgers and other stuff w/o eating the beans squash and corn (I use chips) I get feeling sick and off again. My insides back up as well.
It couldn't hurt to get a little crock pot and start it at bedtime with dry beans covered by an inch of water and some cooked squash cubes, add garlic/cumin then add the salt in the morning or it will take almost twice as long to soften the beans.
I bake the squash on a cookie sheet.
I don't have to eat more than a few ounces each day to keep myself feeling like my meals are satisfying. I also eat less because I feel more nourished. I assume this is the nutrition I was missing before I started this regimen. Any legume works, peas, lentils, navy etc...
I like pinto and butternut squash.

My interest and the idea driving my unsolicited advice here is that if you get good nutrition and start to feel better it will allow you to feel stronger mentally/emotionally as well which will lead to better thinking, decisions, progress etc...

Good luck brother. If nothing else the cooking will keep you out of trouble for a while :-]



Edited by kidneythis (05/31/10 04:57 PM)
_________________________
As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

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