Newest Members
lilac, The Wife Of, smusab, whiteflag, North101
12287 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
cards (33), korbin2003 (39), Rosemary (53), Zebra (47)
Who's Online
3 registered (ScottSmith, sadclown, 1 invisible), 20 Guests and 7 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12287 Members
73 Forums
63212 Topics
442009 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 2 of 3 < 1 2 3 >
Topic Options
#33256 - 06/04/02 07:33 PM Re: Getting the story out
Anonymous
Unregistered


It's important for an individual to ascertain whether he wants to lay his story on his son or daughter to benefit the kid or himself. There's a difference.


Top
#33257 - 06/04/02 07:53 PM Re: Getting the story out
Anonymous
Unregistered


A trustworthy person to ask about what's been posted here is Julie Posey. I'd trust her with my life. She'll give good advice.
http://www.pedowatch.org/pedowatch/press.htm


Top
#33258 - 06/04/02 07:54 PM Re: Getting the story out
goflyakiteV Offline
Member

Registered: 05/24/01
Posts: 66
Loc: n.a.
....AND IT IS JUST AS IMPORTANT TO ASCERTAIN IF THOSE "CHILDREN" COULD POSSIBLY UNDERSTAND WHAT THE HECH GORDS WOULD BE TRYING TO TELL THEM!NO CHILD SHOULD BE TOLD THAT KIND OF INFO! IN THIS CASE, IT WOULD BE DETRIMENTLE!

THINK ABOUT IT, RATIONALLY!!!

ORODO IS RIGHT, WHEN HE SAID 'TELL THEM YOU JUST FEEL BAD AND YOU WILL FEEL BETTER IN THE AM'.

WHY TORTURE THE YOUNG WITH THINGS LIKE THAT?

THEN WE ARE ECCENTIALLY DOING THE SAME THINGS TO THEM THAT HAVE BEEN DONE TO US......OMLY THAT WE WERE PHYSICALLY ABUSED!!!

DON'T MAKE THEM SAD..THEY WILL HAVE PLENTY OF THAT STUFF WHEN THEY GROW UP!


Top
#33259 - 06/04/02 07:57 PM Re: Getting the story out
goflyakiteV Offline
Member

Registered: 05/24/01
Posts: 66
Loc: n.a.
GORDS...WHO KNOWS YOUR CHILDREN BETTER THAN YOU AND YOUR WIFE?

LET THEM REMAIN INNOCENT. ...DON'T LET THEM BARE YOUR SORROWS. NOT YET...WAIT!


Top
#33260 - 06/04/02 08:20 PM Re: Getting the story out
Anonymous
Unregistered


I'll be banned from NOMSV as I have at other survivor sites for saying this. Survivor sites attract not only survivors but a shitload of predators. The predators post wierd bullshit scenarios and get off on the response. Makes them feel superior. Predators,pedos & boylovers,get their rocks off thinking themselves superior to their victims. They post bullshit at survivor sites and laughingly masturbate to the responses. These are gutless pathetic little fucks. They hide in cyberspace playing their little games. They go to survivor sites and fuck with the victims. They think you're stupid. They've got you tagged as having been molested once you're vulnerable to being fucked again. In the real world should you and one of these sick fucks meet face to face you'd backhand him and he'd start whimpering for his mommy. These guys are only brave hiding behind their computers.


Top
#33261 - 06/04/02 08:34 PM Re: Getting the story out
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
Gords
I'm glad I dont have your dillema although I do have a similar one.
My parents are well in their 80's and know nothing about the abuse I suffered at boarding school. I've taken the decision not to tell them, my mother is in the early stages of dementia and my dad can barely cope, so I think it would destroy them. The only problem is that it leaves things open ended for me. When they're gone there will be so many unanswered questions that I will have to deal with. But that's my problem.
It's not the same as your problem I know, but I mention it because I think you must be the one to tell them, or their mother. I keep my history pretty discreet so word doesn't get back to my parents, which is also very hard. To hear rumours and gossip from strangers can't be the right way for loved ones to hear such news.
But it's hard not to agree with the other guys who say leave it a while until they understand better.
The choice is a rock and a hard place, but girls that age can surprise you sometimes.
Maybe you'll just know when the moment is right. I hope so.
Lloydy

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

Top
#33262 - 06/04/02 08:47 PM Re: Getting the story out
James_dup1 Offline


Registered: 04/13/02
Posts: 1332
Loc: Wyoming
Ofcourse you know your girls better than any of us do. For me it was hard to hide from my kids, daddy went to the hospital. Now keep in mind I have never told them any gory details. I guess I take the same approch as talking to any kid about sex....give them as much info as they want. I think it would be much better hearing it from you or mom. I understand totaly about the yelling and getting mad, I do the same thing. Just remember it is your disicion you know your kids. And remember you are not alone with this. We are all brothers here.
James

_________________________
I have more issues than Rolling Stone!


Top
#33263 - 06/04/02 09:15 PM Re: Getting the story out
Anonymous
Unregistered


Hi Lloydy. My mother came down with breast cancer at age 80 in 1993. I returned to the family house,nursed her thru it all. A month before she died we sat in the huge livingroom of our old family ranch house with it's magnificant beamed redwood ceiling structure,drinking gin & tonics. Mom said to me,drunk "Did I really masturbate you?". She was looking for forgiveness. I replied "Yes you did,mom". Silence ensued for awhile. Then she responded with voice filled with vitriol like a housecat spitting "Well if I did I'm sorry". And so 1958 to 1993 comes to comes to exactly 35 years. Thirty five years of living in Hell and I get this response. It was'nt much. But it was something. Mom died on September 4th,1994. I inherited the $500,000 dollar property. For months afterward doors would open and slam shut of their own accord. Mom was still here. One day after a door suddenly opened,no wind present,I said loudly "You're dead,mom. Go to ****ing hell. **** you for what you did to me". That ended the doors opening & closing. She's gone now. I have not physically touched another human ever since 1994. The hurt has ended.


Top
#33264 - 06/05/02 07:15 AM Re: Getting the story out
Lightfang Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/26/00
Posts: 102
Loc: Minnesota
Gordy,
I can understand your wanting them to hear it from you and not off the street. I faced a simular delema. It is nothing for me to have a couple survivor books sitting on my desk, or a few by my bed, or where ever so I am able to read when I get the chance. My 8 year old daughter saw the title of one of my books and asked me what it meant. How I expalined is something like this. I let her know that I didn't want her reading any of the books. she knows that there are stories in them that are meant for adults only. And I asked her if she remembers our talk about strangers and bad people, and what those bad people do to sometimes young children. She answered yes. I explained that the reason I have always acted very protective over her when it came to other people is that when I was a young boy things happened to me that weren't right. and that even though now things are going well, I still read about abuse and work hard to protect others, because it is the right thing to do.
I believe no one knows your children better than you. You are able to say if they are mature enough to handle some information. details maybe not but I feel as soon as they are old enough to understand and not feel bad about it. I would let them know, just enough so they know why you feel the way you do, not enough to get them scared.

_________________________
"Please love and protect all children, they are the future of us all!!"

Top
#33265 - 06/05/02 09:59 AM Re: Getting the story out
gords Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 05/24/02
Posts: 7
Loc: Ontario Canada
Thanks guys for all of your input. Although I am still unsure of what to do I think I'll wait for awhile. I do know my kids best and I believe that they can handle it but i am thinking now that maybe they don't need to know.
My therapist say I am still having trouble with authority. I am always looking for someone else to make the hard decisions for me. I couldn't even make up my mind about calling the CAS on my abuser to ensure his son was safe. (My therapist made that decision for me). I guess I am in the dilema again; wishing that someone would make the decision for me. It is a hard thing to do. Thinking that I have have the ability to make decisions. I still feel that I am a child and need permission to do anything.
Anyway thanks for all the advice. For now I am going to wait. Who needs to hear what happened to me? Who would really care?
Gords


Top
Page 2 of 3 < 1 2 3 >


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.