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#287072 - 05/11/09 07:44 AM 70 Guidelines for Hostage Rape Torture/Survival
men_of_hrts.dbw Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/20/09
Posts: 301
Loc: Orchidland Big Island Hawaii
---70 Guidelines for Hostage Rape Torture/Survival

In honor of all those who survive daily trauma of sexual abuse

In October 1977 I was deceived, drugged, held hostage, raped and tortured. I survived when others did not.

I never told the truthful version untill July 2007, then mental and physical commotion stayed until April 2008 when I found The Man on an internet search.

In December 2008 I wrote The 185 Survivorship Guidelines Series, long/short versions using an eighteen month daily journal as reference. I needed them when I had no success locating professional and male orientated therapy/peer support.

Pre-assault information, not prevention, these guidelines inform readers how to stay alive during an assault or abduction. Including post-assault education for understanding the issues and conditions common among survivors.

The first thirty-five guidelines address the actual abduction and assault. How to act when sexual assault becomes a reality, before it occurs.

The second thirty-five guidelines give survivors concise stratigies for coping with the longterm trauma which undermines peace, understanding and comfort.

Most pre-assault education is based on fear factors and escort service for our children. Even cell phone technology has given parents a false sense of security. Knowledge of post-assault trauma, unfortunatly, is not accessed untill after sexual abuse happens.

These guidelines put survival one step in front of the victim.

The seventy guidelines address;
-ABDUCTION
-ASSAULT
-PARALYZING FEAR
-ALIVE
-SURVIVORSHIP
-CURB
-WITHIN
-INSIDE
-HURTING

*Excerpt: short version; HRT/S Guidelines
**The long version, not posted, is my interpretation of each guideline in non-graphic yet detailed narratives.

--ABDUCTION--
A-Approach; deceptive trust, lure/ruse, force, drugs or alcohol
B-Be suspicious of men/women who ask for help or make contact
D-Don't accompany a stranger, get into the car or open the
--front door
U-Use offensive/defensive force only during the approach, if
--escape is 100% possible or when attacked
C-Control fear and emotional response; especially your
--imagination
T-Talk normal and friendly, avoid verbal hysteria
I-Initiate conversation, establish false rapport
O-Observe moods, yours and the assailant
N-Never act like a victim; don't beg, cry, scream, ask
--questions about what is going to happen, make no referece of
--death or deals concerning release. Never say you won't tell
--anyone

--ASSAULT--
A-Ask for nothing no matter what you want or need
S-Say yes to everything, don't say, "I can't or won't do that"
S-Stay alive, use your instinctive sexual ability
A-Always comply with unwilling compliance
U-Use your body, the assailant is interested in emotional and
--physical response, not sex
L-Leave evidence on-site; DNA, body fluids, hair or personal
--items
T-Try to dominate sexual activities and conversation

--PARALYZING FEAR--
P-Physical reactions are involuntary
A-Adrenaline wave throughout the body, fear increases
R-Rapid acceleration/deceleration of time, split second or
--slow motion
A-Acknowledgement of doom
L-Life or death, life is in limbo with proable death
Y-Yield or not, survival is instinctive
Z-Zombie state of mind, overload resulting in mental shutdown
--and emotional flatline; the mind must deal with two
--realities, belief and disbelief
I-Imaginary predictions, positive/negative interpretations of
--the next moment
N-Nerve, instinct and gut reaction; use self-restraint to
--control the physical/emotional intense feelings
G-Game plan; remain alive, know your advantages, look for
--objects and situations that can be used for offensive or
--defensive survival

F-Fight or flight
E-Evaluate
A-Action
R-Relief

--ALIVE--
A-Alert authorities
L-Leave evidence for collection
I-Immediate medical evaluation
V-Validate the assault*
E-Explain exactly what happened, don't minimize or maximize
--details

*This is very important: without police report/investigation
and medical documentation the victim may not be eligble for state victims assistance or compensation for future mental health care and disability income.

--SURVIVORSHIP--
S-Standstill and stay focused
U-Utilize support
R-Research information
V-Verify therapy
I-Internal goals
V-Visualize the future
O-Organize daily activities
R-Reorientation of desired sexuality
S-Surrender nagativity
H-Harmonize your life
I-Initiate recovery, restoration and rehabilitation
--(spirit,mind,body)
P-Peace, understanding and comfort. Living daily without
--continued self-revictimization. Identifying helpful and
--hurtful thinking and behavior. Acknowledging negative
--instinctive reactions to internal/external stimuli

--CURB--
C-Commotion must stop, ease within takes place
U-Unwanted negative reactions eliminated
R-Resentments identified and acknowledged
B-Boundries begin to fall, appreciation development

--WITHIN--
W-Within yourself are the answers and solutions
I-Intercept physical and emotional reactions
T-Total alignment of spirit, mind and body
--(peace,understanding,comfort)
H-Head-on when dealing with cognitive change
I-Invite the conclusion
N-Neverending affects accepted

--INSIDE--
I-I am normal for what happened to me
N-Never let anyone tell you who or what you are
S-Suicide is not a solution
I-I am a survivor of sexual assault, act like one
D-Don't let the past ruin the future
E-Everyday has the potential to be wonderful

--HURTING--
H-Have
U-U
R-Really
T-Tried
I-Inviting
N-N
G-God

*Excerpt: long version;

--PARALYZING FEAR--
Z-Zombie state of mind; overload resulting in mental shutdown
--and emotional flatline, the mind must deal with two
--realities; belief and disbelief

I thought, "this can't be happening to me" constantly during the assault. The man did things to me far beyond rape, it pushed me over the edge.
I was on a violent roller coaster, except it was backwards; up fast and down slow. Everything was all wrong and abnormal.
At times I was a zombie, my body on auto-pilot and my mind unable to guide me. there was a definate sense of unrealness. Even after I was released and safe I thought, how could anyone do the things that man did to me.

*Excerpt: long version;

--WITHIN--
W-Within yourself are the answers and solutions

Agitation entered my life. My military pride and career evaporated quickly. Long and hard black-out drinking was my first self-help technique along with smoking marijuana. It was no longer a social thing, it was my medicine.
Later came spirituality, creativity and excessive work schedules.
I tried books on transcendentalism, I still have the rare editions of H.D. Thoreau and R.W.Emerson and they helped.
I was taught self-hypnosis and self-searching. I also went to a twelve step program and a retreat. Nothing worked permanently because I never discussed the abduction.
Then I found isolation and coonhounds, my dogs and the solitude of the forest.
I smoked marijuana during the day. I could administer the exact dose needed with instant results. After my daily obligations were finished I drank into oblivion. That was my solution for almost three decades. Give up, abandon and sell or throwaway everything that complicated my life was the answer for many latter years.
The very day I started talking about the abduction I understood what was going on in my life. Untangling it was another matter. Meditations in self-searching and relaxation started to work effectively.
For every question I was led to the answer. Some answers brought solutions or new questions. Other questions will always remain unanswered.

*Excerpt: long version;

--INSIDE--
E-Everyday has the potential to be wonderful

Life is too long to be miserable for even a single moment. One of the many billboards along the road I traveled. Now I tell myself; After what I've been through in the past nothing is going to complicate me today.
It all boils down to how I respond and react to daily conflict of my own opinion. I have discovered the only thing that can make me glad,sad or mad is me.
A joyful day depends on what I say and do. Also, how I consider what is right or wrong, in and outside my realm of control.
I've diciplined myself to stay unaffected and resist the temptation of being an active member in other peoples negative energy.
I listen instead of forcing my two cent opinion into conversations. I am no longer magnetized by controversy, and my competetive drive I replaced with a compliant attitude. I became a participating spectator.
The unused mental energy left over I applied to enjoying life. I see the beauty surrounding me and I gravitate to becomming part of the awesome universal power in each moment.


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------







Edited by men_of_hrts.dbw (12/27/10 04:57 PM)
Edit Reason: remove off-site contact
_________________________
Doug>ASA Survivor (1x)
ECV 6001/MaTuCa Chapter 1849
E Clampus Vitus
"What Say the Brethren"
"Hang the Bastards"

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#288607 - 05/23/09 03:39 PM Re: 70 Guidelines for Hostage Rape Torture/Survival [Re: men_of_hrts.dbw]
Logan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/05/03
Posts: 1205
Loc: NY
I'm kinda saddened that nobody has responded to the posts that you have made.

1st, I want to thank you for sharing what you have developed with us. I am glad that you found them so helpful to your healing process.

2nd, I want to say that, if you remember, I told you about how I was tortured for an extended period of time and how that had an astonishing effect on me. I thought you had left the forum and am glad that you did not.
The torture I endured brought amazingly vivid nightmares. I still to this day fear being tied up. I was hog-tied for extended periods of time, denied food and water, and beaten severely during those times.
what I eventually learned is that my torturers found pleasure in my agony and if I denied them this they would eventually lose interest in hurting my. This is kinda related to how you descride trying not to be "a victim" or play out that role in the process.
Unfortunately, it took me a very long time to find my soul long after I was released, because I stayed in an emotionally flat-line state and became my own worst enemy by thinking that I deserved to be treated this way and becoming ferther self abusive toward my self. perpetuating a very, very unhealthy cycle.
I wish I had told someone sooner, but then again, doesn't every body?

Logan

_________________________
"Terrible thing to live in Fear"-Shawshank Redemption
WOR Alumnus Hope Springs 2009
"Quite a thing to live in fear, this is what is means to be a slave"
-Blade Runner

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#292099 - 06/17/09 06:41 PM Re: 70 Guidelines for Hostage Rape Torture/Survival [Re: Logan]
men_of_hrts.dbw Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/20/09
Posts: 301
Loc: Orchidland Big Island Hawaii
Logan,
Not going anywhere
Nowhere left to run;
except forward

_________________________
Doug>ASA Survivor (1x)
ECV 6001/MaTuCa Chapter 1849
E Clampus Vitus
"What Say the Brethren"
"Hang the Bastards"

Top
#332137 - 05/26/10 05:37 AM Re: 70 Guidelines for Hostage Rape Torture/Survival [Re: men_of_hrts.dbw]
Russell123 Offline


Registered: 05/26/10
Posts: 1
thanks for this useful information its help me great.

_________________________
certkiller-1z0-043-642-654-HH0-110

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#332188 - 05/26/10 01:17 PM Re: 70 Guidelines for Hostage Rape Torture/Survival [Re: Russell123]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6723
Loc: USA
Thanks Russell and Logan for reminding us of this (these) post. And of course thank you, men_of_hearts for posting it.

I saw it when it was first posted and I wanted to return to it and carefully consider the points. But I was sidetracked and never came back to it. This time I will take it seriously.

Allen






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#332341 - 05/28/10 11:06 AM Re: 70 Guidelines for Hostage Rape Torture/Survival [Re: pufferfish]
kidneythis Offline


Registered: 11/08/09
Posts: 1558
I was flatlined emotionally too. The terror lasted for decades and the places I lived made it no easier. The lack of compassion and concern for ones fellow man combined with bigotry that is based on ignorance about those of us who seem to fit whatever grouping made life hell and even though I felt I deserved better no one would give me better. I came to believe I drew this out of people because I was bad. It was the "do I wear a sign" problem all along and getting older only makes that worse.
I moved to Ca looking for work and it all changed. People treated me like I was normal and decent even when I simply acted like myself and let my confusion show, it was a revelation to me. They assumed good things when they saw me rather than the reverse I eventually came to realize. I had no idea I was being discriminated against until that discrimination was removed.
I got to the point that I believed I deserved to be treated well and I forgot about the discrimination heaped upon me by what I considered to be "my people".
Now I've moved back north and whammo once again I face the bigotry, nastiness, and discrimination that I had always believed was a normal reaction to me. I find I'm still not well equiped to handle it even though I know what it is now.

I feel I've drifted again. I think I've lost the point of the thread.
I'm leading up to my having learned to love myself because others, strangers, showed me the love and respect that all people are entitled to, has given me strength to stand up for myself and it is only the things I lack because of the abuse that limits me in my ability to get heard and to get justice in my daily life.



Edited by kidneythis (05/28/10 11:18 AM)
_________________________
As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

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#337177 - 07/29/10 03:57 AM Re: 70 Guidelines for Hostage Rape Torture/Survival [Re: kidneythis]
Huxlay Offline


Registered: 07/29/10
Posts: 2
Thanks for sharing. Only the current status of interesting websites for your informative topic. I appreciate about it. It really is so useful for all, especially for me because I want to get knowledge of all kinds. I just want to say that your sense to describe, it's nice and easy to understand, so I appreciate the love it. Thanks again!

_________________________
HUxlay

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#355756 - 03/06/11 11:12 PM Re: 70 Guidelines for Hostage Rape Torture/Survival [Re: Huxlay]
michael Joseph Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/11/01
Posts: 2719
Loc: Virginia
hugs to all that dwell here at MS

Great information

MJ

_________________________
Standing together is so much better than hiding in the dark.
***I am a three time WoR Retreat Alumni***
The Round Table, Men's CSA Group, Monday 7:30pm CST, MaleSurvivor Chat

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