Avery, if someone else is upset by your joy, too bad for them.
I am still ambiguous in my feelings, sometimes SSA sometimes not. Now, I think I look beyond a person's sex and, hopefully, into their soul. I have several good friends of both sexes and that's fine with me.... However,
Geeze but I'd love to have a romantic, I mean really romantic affair with someone. Not really sexual, just romantic, silly romance. You know what I mean? Where you are just head of heels in love with the other person? Where, no matter what you're doing, you're doing it together? I had that once, just one time, for a few months. I recall almost every minute of it. I remember those days waking up in the morning and knowing I have the world by the ass; even a cloudy day was sunny. But he was a victim of abuse, too, and he didn't realize what we had at the time. He called me a couple years later to tell me he was dying. It broke my heart but I couldn't go back there again. It was too painful. I didn't attend his funeral.
If I could experience those feelings again... well, I don't know... what the hell would I do with them? LOL At least I had it once, eh?
A life worth living.