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#328846 - 04/18/10 05:51 PM Younger Women
jls Offline


Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 1142
This weekend I went out of town and ended up in bed with a 24 year old, which I feel weird about. You see I am a year from 40 and have always said to myself that I wouldn't be with someone that young, not for moral reasons per se but rather for fear of lacking much in common with someone that age. I didn't plan for it to happen. We were both drinking and at the end of the night we wound up in bed together, which like I said I feel weird about, I suppose because I went against my own code. I'm trying to remember that at 24 she is a woman, not a girl, who participated in us having sex due to mutual attraction yet I still can't help but feel like the proverbial "dirty old man". However, I am available, single and not bad looking for my age so I go back and forth on this. What are other people's thoughts? JS

_________________________
Love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world.


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#328859 - 04/18/10 07:13 PM Re: Younger Women [Re: jls]
pkincrisi Offline


Registered: 04/08/10
Posts: 96
Loc: Wisconsin
jls, you are not a "dirty old man". You were someone was looking for some comfort and assurance even if you didn't realize it at the time. What happened was consenual and you aren't to be blamed for that.

Obviously, a one-night stand isn't what you are seeking right now. You deserve to be loved and find companionship. And you deserve someone who will love you for who you are.

_________________________
Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

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#328961 - 04/19/10 05:42 PM Re: Younger Women [Re: pkincrisi]
jls Offline


Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 1142
There is some truth to what you said about finding love, although I am cautious to narrow my sights on this right off the bat. I feel that doing so will limit my options, or worse scare women away with a premature expectation of commitment. Instead, after exiting an 8 year relationship I wish to start dating again in a non-exclusive way in order to explore who's out there, at least to start with, not just to do with sex but also to discover fun and interesting women who I would enjoy spending time with. Anyways I suppose I shouldn't be so rigid with concern to age. Like I said it is more a matter of finding people that I have things in common with. That said, maybe age isn't the defining thing after all since there are as many immature people as there are mature across the spectrum. Anyways thanks for letting me express these things. It helps alot. JS

_________________________
Love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world.


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#328969 - 04/19/10 06:27 PM Re: Younger Women [Re: jls]
Trucker51 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/20/08
Posts: 2826
Loc: Denver, CO
Almost all of my girlfriends, both of the women that I was engaged to but didn't marry, and both of my wives were all 6, 7, or 8 years younger than I was when I met them, I think that you would find that a lot of marriages are between people that distant in age. 15 years younger? A lot of the crowd that worked in the many factories around Cleveland or Detroit that I serviced driving a semi to would have loved to brag about bagging a gal that much younger. Even now looking through the pages of Match.com, I am looking as young as 10 years younger than I am, right up to a year or two older than I am too. I'm 52, and I'll have to admit that there are a large number of good-looking gals 15 years my junior there too, many of whom are looking for guys up to my age too.

Part of my coping from my abuse was to start hanging-out with younger and younger people as my peers continued to mature more normally and I continued to be stuck on a different development path. Since my success in recovery, I have become friends with a number of guys my own age, even older, but I still seem to have a thing for younger women. I don't think that I am that unusual there either, Kevin Costner's wife is 18 years younger than he is too. The one drawback of having a wife that much younger would be that her interests and yours would likely be substantially different, and at my age and physical condition, I would be hard pressed to keep up with a woman in her mid-30s too. But, in the unlikely event that I found a woman that age where we had a lot in common I wouldn't necessarily exclude her just because of her age. Age 24 is an adult, just as age 37 would be an adult in my case.

Most likely she was drunk, her judgment was impaired, and most likely it will end with what happened last weekend. Remember what they say about what happens in Las Vegas? As long as she doesn't get pregnant, you are off the hook. Is she calling you up wanting to get back together? You might have to screen your calls for a while. Or, who knows, you retire, and she is still only age 50, you'll be the talk of your retirement community, all the other old men will be jealous!!!

Did you enjoy it??? Maybe it wasn't such a bad thing after all!!!

Mark

_________________________
"We stay here, we die here. We've got to keep moving". Trucker Mark



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#329121 - 04/21/10 12:07 AM Re: Younger Women [Re: Trucker51]
jls Offline


Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 1142
We were both drunk and while I can't speak for her I can say my judgement was impaired. On that note I highly doubt it would have happened if we weren't drinking in the first place. However, after hearing other's input here I have no regrets, except to say that sex isn't the best when your hammered haha. There are no phone calls from her nor is there a relationship happening so I am chalking it up to what it was - a one night fling with no strings. This is quite uncommon for me to participate in but after exiting a long term relationship relatively recently maybe its what I needed to prime the pump (forgive the expression:) and start dating again. I like the freedom of being wide open to explore my options so I'm going to savour that for now.

_________________________
Love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world.


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