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#327459 - 04/05/10 02:56 PM Underwear Fetish?
Shaun The Sheep Offline


Registered: 03/17/10
Posts: 188
Loc: West Coast
**********



Edited by Shaun The Sheep (03/31/11 06:37 PM)

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#327466 - 04/05/10 05:39 PM Re: Underwear Fetish? [Re: Shaun The Sheep]
Mountainous Buck Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/15/09
Posts: 1626
Loc: Minnesota
HI Shaun,

I applaud you for posting-trying to understand our present-day behavior is pretty important work-sounds like you get "a boost to know that I (you) look nice".

Sounds to me that you didn't feel you "looked nice" growing up, and didn't have a sense of privacy/personal ownership - in that case, it is perfectly understandable why you have the attraction to your own underwear collection today.

For me, I grew up around some angry and powerful men/boys: Today, I get a rush out of being strong and muscular, but I avoid angry confrontations with people, especially men.

My work is to stand up for myself in confrontations and not be afraid to speak my truth-that is where I am at today.

_________________________
We have to take responsibility for what we're not responsible for.

It doesn't matter where you've come from,
It matters where you go" Frank Turner

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#327467 - 04/05/10 05:39 PM Re: Underwear Fetish? [Re: Shaun The Sheep]
Survivinguy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/22/09
Posts: 310
Loc: Colorado
I'm not sure I'd call it a fetish as that word usually denotes something unhealthy. And I would never call taking care of yourself unhealthy. I think if you are in a position in life where you can toss out or pass on to Goodwill clothes that are less than new - more power to you and good to you for treating yourself to something that gives you a healthy boost!

Now if you get to the point that you have to toss them out after you wear them once - I'd say that's a bit odd and wasteful but still not a fetish per se.

I also can't say whether treating yourself is a function of your abuse or how you grew up but when you are treating yourself to nice, clean clothes and you know you get a little "boost" from it, well I think we would all be better off to find healthy, safe ways to give ourselves little boosts.

It's a good thing to recognize you deserve to be treated nicely Shaun the Sheep. smile

Just my thoughts but I see you taking care of yourself, good for you!

_________________________
Survivinguy

============================================
I have to survive and I hope to thrive.

Alumni Dahlonega WoR May 2010
Alumni Sequoia WoR March 2012

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#327470 - 04/05/10 06:31 PM Re: Underwear Fetish? [Re: Shaun The Sheep]
Charlie24 Offline


Registered: 09/28/08
Posts: 562
Shaun,

I also got hand me downs from my twin brother, he was bigger than me.

So I also don't believe this is an underwear fetish. I think you just finally are able to afford nice things and with that comes being able to purchase clean and brand new clothing.

I remember when I was finally able to purchase things for myself and it felt good to pick out what I wanted, brand new, not another bleeping hand me down.

Charlie.


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#327473 - 04/05/10 06:59 PM Re: Underwear Fetish? [Re: Charlie24]
Shaun The Sheep Offline


Registered: 03/17/10
Posts: 188
Loc: West Coast
**********



Edited by Shaun The Sheep (03/31/11 06:38 PM)

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#327486 - 04/05/10 09:10 PM Re: Underwear Fetish? [Re: Shaun The Sheep]
kidneythis Offline


Registered: 11/08/09
Posts: 1558
It sopunds like the stories I have heard of poor kids doing things like that to feel they've gotten out.
Jerry Lewis famously never wears any pair of socks twice. Other famous people who came out of poverty do other things but it all is a personal signal to themselves that they aren't in that position anylonger.

I don't think that is about abuse so much as it is about personal care. You are making sure you have something that you didn't as a child.



Edited by kidneythis (04/05/10 09:10 PM)
_________________________
As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

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#327502 - 04/06/10 01:00 AM Re: Underwear Fetish? [Re: kidneythis]
Shaun The Sheep Offline


Registered: 03/17/10
Posts: 188
Loc: West Coast
**********



Edited by Shaun The Sheep (03/31/11 06:37 PM)

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#327504 - 04/06/10 01:15 AM Re: Underwear Fetish? [Re: Shaun The Sheep]
TJ jeff Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/07/04
Posts: 3421
Loc: Northern Wisconsin
Shaun,

I agree with Survivinguy - I don't think it classifies as a fetish either

at a W.O.R. I joked with a friend about how many pairs of underwear that I own (boxers, briefs, bikini's, ect) - even have many packages that are'nt even opened yet - but... not a single pair of tighty whiteys

I know for me that it goes back to my childhood - I wore hand me down tighty whiteys too - was wearing them while I was being physicaly and sexualy abused

I guess for me NOT wearing tighty whiteys is a form of taking back control - of saying that I now control this body

_________________________
Who will cry for the little boy? - I will... - Antwone Fisher

Abuse happens in silence/isolation - Recovery happens only when that silence/isolation is broken...

TJ's History

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#328713 - 04/17/10 02:21 PM Re: Underwear Fetish? [Re: Shaun The Sheep]
redneckguy Offline


Registered: 05/28/09
Posts: 21
Loc: Ohio
This all sounds famillier to me. I have had a terrible time with underwear and clothing alike. I grew up poor and everything I had was well worn handed down clothing many times from my cousins. I still remember as a kid getting that brown paper grocery bag with a few clothes in it for me to wear. Usually two or three undershirts, sometimes they were V necks, usually two or three pair of dingy briefs and a pair of jeans. The pants usually didn't fit properly because my cousin was a Husky and even though they might half way fit me in the waiste they would be too short but thats all I had. And certain times of the year are sworse for me than others. There was always nervousnes towards the end of summer when school would begin probley because I didnt know what I was going to do for clothing for school. It must have caused a signal to go off that I couldnt control. To make it even more real I think the neighbor boys who lived near by were in the same situation as myself. I can remember them coming by towards the beginning of the school year asking what size pants I wore and actually trying to glance at the tags inside my undershirt. I knew they had no clothes either. When you only have a few tee shirts you notice when one is gone. I knew exactly where I would find it the first day of school , my buddy took it to wear. And when I was younger before school especially the only clothes I ever wore were diapers. The combination causes alot of mental strain as an adult I think. Please get back to me on this


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#328730 - 04/17/10 05:06 PM Re: Underwear Fetish? [Re: redneckguy]
petercorbett Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/27/08
Posts: 2485
Loc: TEXAS
My fraternal brothers.

Ah, the underwear forum.

There was one way back in '08. If you would like some historical readings about what we had to say about it back then.

Then, i'll direct you to post #258769-date posted 29/10/08.
Interesting reading & there is a bit of humor there too.

But, as for me now. I still do have a thing for new 'drawers" as we called them back when i was a boy. And the US military still calls underwear DRAWERS. On your clothing uniform list it will say drawers..briefs..white.

When i went into the Air Force back in '56 they issued boxers & until that time i always wore briefs. And right after graduating from basic training. I went back to wearing briefs. But you still had to have drawers, boxer, white rolled in your foot locker.

I used to have about 10 pairs at all times & my wife was always in my case about them, as she washed clothes about 4 days apart from each other.

Heal well, my fraternal brothers, heal well.

Pete..Irishmoose.

_________________________
Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953
____________________________________________________________
A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA.
May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010.
Hope Springs, 2010.


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