I have started, well its been a month now, taking Truvada and Viramune to supress the action of the HIV virus. I did have a rough "ride" for the first couple of weeks. I only have problems with balance now.

Hang in there Duncan. They say the new drug work well. One of my best friends has been HIV+ for almost 10 years now and is doing great. Best wishes!

Peace and love...

Michael

duncan, wishing you the best as you adjust to your course of therapy. i hope you are soon back to maximum efficiency and functionality! my prayers are with you!

(((((( duncan )))))

your brother in recovery,

ron

Duncan,

Hey bro, well done! I'm glad you're giving the meds an chance and working with your doctors. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Much love,
Larry

Thank you for your replies. I write down when i take the drugs and sum the amount left so that i know when i will run out and have to get some more before that happens.

Part of me is hoping the drugs work and another part of me wants them to fail. I will continue to take them and if the virus mutates so that the drug no longer works i will take the others they have on offer.

It was a big step for me to start taking the drugs. I kept on putting it off and hoped that i could fight the virus myself. I know now that if i continued down this route my progression to AIDS would have been sooner - 2 to 3 years.

I still have intense anger and hatred within me i am trying to supress it, but it is so hard sometimes. A couple of weeks ago i made my friend cry. I felt nothing. I guess they are worried about me incase i stop taking the drugs.

I managed to repair the damage that i caused and apologised for my outburst.

I have stopped taking the drugs. The doctors do not know and never will. Its been 4 days now.

Why?

Duncan,

I hope you will be able to talk about this. These decisions are yours, of course, but please bear in mind that the doctors are only trying to work with you for your own benefit and welfare.

Much love,
Larry

yes duncan, please tell us more. you must not go through this alone.

your friend,

ron

My whole mind is coming apart. I am sorry for just saying "I have stopped taking the drugs" without explaining myself.
I hate going for the blood tests. I hate the fact that i have HIV. I look at the drugs and i do not want to take them.

I am haunted by flash backs and have nightmares of werewolves and faceless people. I cant save them. I loose everytime. I have hatred and anger burning in my heart. I feel unclean and dirty everyday; having this virus makes that feeling worse. I hate myself.

I just do not know any more. which way to turn? or is every turning a dead end?

sorry.............