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#32864 - 01/07/03 03:22 PM Re: Wife's Seizure
JamesMichael Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/24/02
Posts: 134
Welcome Sameer. Thanks for kind words. Pain shared is halved. Joy shared is doubled. Come here often. My pains have been halved here and my joys doubled.

Thanks all for support and good wishes. My wife is still not well. Two weeks after the seizure and she's still very tired. The injuries to her left side that she sustained from the fall to the floor still make it painful to rollover at night or even sneeze. We're going to a follow-up visit with primary care doctor this afternoon. I guess she just needs a lot of rest. I can see it wearing on her. The sleep she does get isn't the deep REM variety.

Anyway, thanks all for being here.

JM


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#32865 - 01/14/03 04:15 PM Re: Wife's Seizure
JamesMichael Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/24/02
Posts: 134
I'm just really rung out since Christmas Day and my wife's seizure. Really physically and emotionally tired. It's not that I don't have the will to do things, I do; I just physically can't. Also, I went to a SNAP meeting over the weekend. (Survivor's Network of those Abused by Priests). It was excellent. So many guys (and women there who've been abused by priests. It was good for me to be with others in "live-time" who've been abused. All my abuse stuff is front and center, and I want to confront my abusers, but again, I'm so TIRED. I had a part-time job teaching in the evenings, but I'm not going to do that this semester 'cause I think I need to carve out time for myself and my family. What's really rewarding recently is doing a lot of home repair and home improvement projects. I do have energy for that, but for work and "my recovery stuff," I'm zapped.

On another note, could someone explain more about what it means to "depersonalize" as opposed to dissociate.

Thanks.

JM


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#32866 - 01/14/03 05:33 PM Re: Wife's Seizure
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
Quote:
On another note, could someone explain more about what it means to "depersonalize" as opposed to dissociate.
JM, I was just looking into this yesterday, tho I can't remember why, if it was for this site or not
(no that's not dissociation, that's fibrofog !)

Anyhoo sites I checked indicate depersonalization disorder is actually one of several dissociative disorders, a kind of dissociation. Here's what one link, http://www.nami.org/helpline/dissoc.htm says in summary:

"Depersonalization disorder is marked by a feeling of detachment or distance from one's own experience, body, or self. These feelings of depersonalization are recurrent. Of the dissociative disorders, depersonalization is the one most easily identified with by the general public; one can easily relate to feeling as they in a dream, or being "spaced out." Feeling out of control of one's actions and movements is something that people describe when intoxicated. An individual with depersonalization disorder has this experience so frequently and so severely that it interrupts his or her functioning and experience. A person's experience with depersonalization can be so severe that he or she believes the external world is unreal or distorted."

I'm just realizing this is a lot of what I did with my abuse. I had the memories so it wasn't dissociative amnesia. I simply could not connect them to myself. They were news stories, they happened to someone else.

"In a dream, spaced out"--oh yeah! Guess that's why I so easily dropped drugs & alcohol--I didn't need them to get "stoned!" :rolleyes:

Ever had one of those freaky moments when you're like half asleep and you come out of your body & look down on yourself and say "Who the heck is that?" I have.

I've even had those times the world seemed unreal or at least very distorted, like I wasn't in it, didn't belong in it. Anyone else ever have that? Damn that really weirds you, especially when you have no clue why it's happening, what's behind it...

Fortunately that hasn't happened too often...

Other forms of dissociation include:

"Dissociative amnesia: This disorder is characterized by a blocking out of critical personal information, usually of a traumatic or stressful nature. Dissociative amnesia, unlike other types of amnesia, does not result from other medical trauma (e.g. a blow to the head). Dissociative amnesia has several subtypes:

Localized amnesia is present in an individual who has no memory of specific events that took place, usually traumatic. The loss of memory is localized with a specific window of time. For example, a survivor of a car wreck who has no memory of the experience until two days later is experiencing localized amnesia.

Selective amnesia happens when a person can recall only small parts of events that took place in a defined period of time. For example, an abuse victim may recall only some parts of the series of events around the abuse.

Generalized amnesia is diagnosed when a person's amnesia encompasses his or her entire life.

Systematized amnesia is characterized by a loss of memory for a specific category of information. A person with this disorder might, for example, be missing all memories about one specific family member."

This is the dissociative order, from what I've seen & my own experience, that is the most common among CSA survivors, particularly the first two kinds. We tend to dissociate from our abuse & the very memory of it to varied degrees & extremes.

Sometimes the extreme goes to some degree of:

"Dissociative identity disorder (DID), which has been known as multiple personality disorder, is the most famous of the dissociative disorders. An individual suffering from DID has more than one distinct identity or personality state that surfaces in the individual on a recurring basis. This disorder is also marked by differences in memory which vary with the individual's "alters," or other personalities."

No dx (diagnosis) but sometimes I sure feel like different people inside, fighting with each other...

Here is another DD also given notoriety by movies:

"Dissociative fugue is a rare disorder. An individual with dissociative fugue suddenly and unexpectedly takes physical leave of his or her surroundings and sets off on a journey of some kind. These journeys can last hours, or even several days or months. Individuals experiencing a dissociative fugue have traveled over thousands of miles. An individual in a fugue state is unaware of or confused about his identity, and in some cases will assume a new identity (although this is the exception)."

Some of us, like myself, may have done this sometimes while driving for instance, usually for brief periods of time. In my case, I seem to have full faculties about me; at least I've never had an accident when this has happened. Still trying to notice when it happens if I see anything that may trigger an old feeling or memory or something in me related to abuse...

Then of course there's the DDNOS or...

Dissociative Disorder Not Otherwise Specified.

"DDNOS is a diagnostic category ascribed to patients with dissociative symptoms that do not meet the full criteria for a specific dissociative disorder."

Sorry JM TMI (Too Much Information?), maybe I got carried away there? After all I do also have OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)... ;\)

Hope some of this helps. Take care JM.

Victor

_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

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#32867 - 01/15/03 09:38 AM Re: Wife's Seizure
JamesMichael Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/24/02
Posts: 134
Thanks Vic,

Your info. helps a lot. I'm pondering it all.

JM


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#32868 - 01/15/03 03:57 PM Re: Wife's Seizure
guy43 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/17/02
Posts: 450
Loc: Minnesota
thanky victor,
i too needed some additional explanation of disociative concepts. a helpful link.

jm,
sorry how things have been going lately. that's real cool if you do have the energy for doing what i hope are some enjoyable house fixeruper projects.

could you tell me more about the SNAP meeting you went to please? i've been pondering going to one but wasn't sure what the focus would be.

saamer,
welcome to malesurvivor. this is a good place to come when you're feeling down and need to share.

jer


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#32869 - 01/15/03 05:38 PM Re: Wife's Seizure
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
JM, & Jer, you're welcome. Helped me a lot too.

This whole thing about depersonalization has really got me thinking...

Take care men

Victor

_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

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#32870 - 01/16/03 09:53 AM Re: Wife's Seizure
JamesMichael Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/24/02
Posts: 134
Jer,

I've only been to one SNAP meeting, but have talked with numerous SNAP people on the telephone. They're a great bunch of people. Basically, it's primarily a support group for men and women who've been sexually abused by mostly Roman Catholic clergy people...though they're welcoming of individuals whose abusers are from other religious backgrounds. They're also involved in activism. SNAP people work closely with Linkup, Voice of the Faithful, and SurvivorsFirst organizations. The format of the regional meeting I went to in New Jersey consisted of a general meeting followed by a support group meeting for survivors only (survivor supporters had their own meeting at the same time) and then there were individual committe meetings. The usual meeting, however, would focus on survivor support. I know there's a Philadelphia and an Allentown chapter. I don't know where you live in Pennsylvania. One may be in reach for you. Their website address: web page Were you abused by a clergyperson?

Peace, JM


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