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#329058 - 04/20/10 12:34 PM Re: Boy Scout Abuse in Portland OR [Re: melliferal]
kidneythis Offline


Registered: 11/08/09
Posts: 1558
I have a contrasting POV here.
I was ok with group showers until I became aware self consciously, then I had to overcome my anxiety about it, which was not entirely successful. In the end I still have a little anxiety about my junk but it is because of the abuse not being naked with other naked kids or as I grew and went into the military, men.

Group showering under normal supervision is a healthy way to teach boys and girls to be secure in themselves. They get to see the range of normal and sometimes abnormal human forms and don't grow into adults who believe in ridiculous things about sex and body issues.

This will serve to help them function normally during sex and to let them know how the human body grows over time. Remember the little guy rarely doesn't turn into a normal guy before he is twenty.

Yes there are boys with anxiety over this and they should be shown compassion and given privacy. Eventually they must be told that they have to learn to lose that anxiety and eventually shower with the group even if it takes therapy it will help them in the long run to be comfortable in themselves and unashamed of their bodies. To me that would have been a wonderful thing to have had. I was told I had to overcome the fear but never given help in doing it, I was just thrown into the fray. I had to fake it and never did quite make it.

_________________________
As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

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#329060 - 04/20/10 01:06 PM Re: Boy Scout Abuse in Portland OR [Re: kidneythis]
TJ jeff Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/07/04
Posts: 3365
Loc: Northern Wisconsin
group showers where very much the "norm" when I was a kid - no one complained because everyone was treated exactly the same - everyone was naked together - no descrimination in that...

swim lessons where at the high school pool - which also had open showers - it was an every day occurance that there would be pre-pubescent boys naked in the showers (it was required that you shower your entire body and "wash" your swimsuit out before entering the pool) with adult men who where maybe going to be doing lap-swim or something like that

in contrast... today that very same high school has 2 totaly seperate locker rooms and it would be a "criminal act" for an adult to enter the boys locker room

yes - things sure have changed over the years...

_________________________
Who will cry for the little boy? - I will... - Antwone Fisher

Abuse happens in silence/isolation - Recovery happens only when that silence/isolation is broken...

TJ's History

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#329107 - 04/20/10 11:19 PM Re: Boy Scout Abuse in Portland OR [Re: TJ jeff]
melliferal Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/03/05
Posts: 1159
Originally Posted By: TJ jeff
group showers where very much the "norm" when I was a kid - no one complained because everyone was treated exactly the same - everyone was naked together - no descrimination in that...

swim lessons where at the high school pool - which also had open showers - it was an every day occurance that there would be pre-pubescent boys naked in the showers (it was required that you shower your entire body and "wash" your swimsuit out before entering the pool) with adult men who where maybe going to be doing lap-swim or something like that

in contrast... today that very same high school has 2 totaly seperate locker rooms and it would be a "criminal act" for an adult to enter the boys locker room

yes - things sure have changed over the years...


Yeah, people finally started coming to their senses.

My word for it is "progress".

_________________________
Children cannot consent; they can only comply.

Oprah's resources for male survivors

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#330092 - 04/28/10 11:26 AM Re: Boy Scout Abuse in Portland OR [Re: melliferal]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6852
Loc: USA
Settlement of the court's procedings on Boy Scout abuse = $18.5 million.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/24/us/24scouts.html

Wow! They'll have to send the scouts door-to-door with buckets to collect that much! smirk (sarcasm)






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#375096 - 11/12/11 01:19 PM Re: Boy Scout Abuse in Portland OR [Re: pufferfish]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6852
Loc: USA
I have found new information about the scout troop I was in, and about the abusers.

Originally Posted By: pufferfish

Sexual activity and abuse were rife ... I was in a troop in northern Virginia, a suburb of Washington D.C.

The ... troop (186) was not very well organized and not very well run. That was the one I got into. I was still relatively naive.... The boys loved to assemble in a circle and tell diry jokes. On Wednesday nights when the scouts met together, they played rough physical games (this was probably not bad, but I had a gentle disposition and I didn't like it).


I have found that several of the boys who "bugged" me then in this troop are now listed as sex offenders.

Puffer





Edited by pufferfish (11/12/11 01:22 PM)

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