To all of my very wonderful brothers here at MaleSurvivor:

My deepest apologies to all of you.

I am editing this post. It appears that I have confused and saddened many of my brothers here, which was not my intent. I am so very sorry for that. In writing this post, I was trying to help one of my brothers stay here at MS by asking for assistance from all my brothers here in toning down some of the perhaps overly passionate responses to recent posts.

What I didn't realize was that, by emotionally demanding that my fellow brothers be less passionate in their responses to each other, I ended up doing the exact same thing. I guess I was committing emotional blackmail without knowing I was.

I see now that it was wrong of me to have written this post. My only excuse is that I was very sad and emotional at the time. Please forgive me for that. But I am trying to understand that I cannot protect my brothers here, and that it is wrong of me to try. I can love my brothers, but I guess I have to remember that I am not my brothers' keeper. I will work on that, I promise.

I have had a long conversation with my therapist, and have decided that it is in my best interests to remain on MS and attend the WoR. As for my friend here at MS, he and I will remain brothers even after he has left - if he does end up leaving - and he is very okay with that.

Again, my most profound apologies for causing worry, confusion, and/or sorrow. It should never have happened. I'll be more careful in the future, my brothers.

Your loving brother,

Bobcat

My dear Bobcat,

I never want to be the source of your pain. You’ve been the closest of friend to me, nudging me to take flight when I’d be floundering on the ground. I love you for this my furry friend. Cats aren’t supposed to help a bird take flight. That shows just how special you are. You have accepted me into your pack where birds really don’t belong. It has helped me feel special and I thank you for your love of me. You have brothers here that love you and you them, this is something you have known how to build. You haven’t lost a friend in me. We will meet at Wor and develop something even stronger than we have now. Don’t leave your brothers that you have bonded with. They love you and you them. I haven’t made a decision I’m just challenging my own heart as to where I want to belong. Love you Bobcat.

bob, you've given one person a great deal of power.... far too much in my opinion for your own good, which is what is at stake in doing so.

no one can control the direction people's triggers take them, except that individual himself. you didn't come here 'attached' to any one individual, and it would pretty sad for you to leave under such pretenses. i say rewind back to the time before your need to rescue kicked in, and if that is all the way back to the beginning, back to a month ago when you first came here, then so be it.

sorry for the strong response, but really, this recovery is something that requires reaching down, finding and utilizing the same fortitude and strength that kept us going this far. bob, no one is going to stop being a certain way because of your emotional response. emotional blackmail it is simply not a tactic that will work here. please talk about your feelings, and work on your feelings. and remember, recovery though it cannot be done by one's self, is something you must do alone.

stay strong; continue to fight the good fight, don't let the abuse kick your ass. show the watching world that recovery is possible.

((((( bob )))))

warmest regards,

ron

Earlybird,

If it is you that Bobcat is talking about, can you help us understand how you feel and what is creating this feeling of not being accepted?

-efm

People come to this list because they are looking for help. and Most of us have stayed Because We have found something amoung this brother hood that , Helps us understand that we are not Unique . and we need each other .
I hope that You will stay because. of the "Brothers" that you have found here

Dear Bobcat

I'm sorry to hear that you want to leave. Before you do consider what sans logos has said. I'm sorry that some negative stuff has been going on, I havn't experienced such responses. To tell you the truth i have been given excellent responses to my posts and people have praised me for the responses i have given others.

I hope you stick around and your friend too.


Gus