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#326694 - 03/30/10 05:10 PM I Googled "TheBobcatAgain"
TheBobcatAgain Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/13/10
Posts: 507
Loc: AZ, U.S.A.
and found ALL of my posts and replies. That was kind of a shock. I knew that anyone could visit this site and look through the topics, and I knew what we posted was available to the public. I guess I thought the posts were confined to MS. I had no idea all anyone had to do was Google "TheBobcatAgain" and see everything I've ever posted/replied to.

Maybe I'm just naive. I'm not really offended - I'm still anonymous and nothing I've posted could really be traced back to me. And what I've written may help others. I guess I just want to give a heads-up to anyone else who also thought that the posts were confined to MS only.

Thank you for letting me share this.

Bobcat

_________________________
You don't have to be perfect to be wonderful.

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#326695 - 03/30/10 05:27 PM Re: I Googled "TheBobcatAgain" [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
Sans Logos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5791
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
bob, being somewhat of pragmatist, i just basically go with the assumption that nothing on the internet is private.

one of the benefits of being a member here, is the privacy and safety of limiting your posts to the member fora, which ARE private, and therefore not searchable by the webcrawlers and spiders that gather such information for search engines.

warm regards,

ron

_________________________
  1. the past
  2. ReClaiming Now
  3. advocacy


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#326697 - 03/30/10 05:41 PM Re: I Googled "TheBobcatAgain" [Re: Sans Logos]
TheBobcatAgain Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/13/10
Posts: 507
Loc: AZ, U.S.A.
Ron,

Oh! I didn't know that. Thanks, buddy. smile I appreciate your response, as always.

Guess I'm just naive...but I'm learning. smile

Thanks again,

Bobcat

_________________________
You don't have to be perfect to be wonderful.

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#326701 - 03/30/10 05:52 PM Re: I Googled "TheBobcatAgain" [Re: Sans Logos]
Ever-fixed Mark Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/02/10
Posts: 729
Loc: United States
Sans Logos' assumption is the right one.

Considering that just about all the forums on the non-members side of the site have this warning - "Notice: All posts in this forum are viewable by the public."

...and that every time I look at who is online there is a Search Spider from Google, Bing and several other search engines online and actively crawling the site, it's hard to be surprised at what you found.

That's one of the reasons I have not posted my story on the non-members (crawlable) side of the site. It's so easy to find everything I've posted here with the right query.

-efm

_________________________

Everybody here's got a story to tell
Everybody's been through their own hell
There's nothing too special about getting hurt
Getting over it, that takes the work

- "Duck and Cover" by Glen Phillips

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#326707 - 03/30/10 06:44 PM Re: I Googled "TheBobcatAgain" [Re: Ever-fixed Mark]
TheBobcatAgain Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/13/10
Posts: 507
Loc: AZ, U.S.A.
Mark,

I knew these posts were viewable by the public. I just thought that the public had to stumble upon them HERE to view them. I just didn't realize that my posts are viewable with a simple Google search. Shows what I know about technology, doesn't it? smile

Thanks for your reply, though. smile

Bobcat

_________________________
You don't have to be perfect to be wonderful.

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#326734 - 03/30/10 09:01 PM Re: I Googled "TheBobcatAgain" [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
Ever-fixed Mark Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/02/10
Posts: 729
Loc: United States
I used to work on intranet search software. Whenever our field people would set up a search crawler inside an organization's firewall there was inevitably a story about some very sensitive documents that people found using search. Usually salary information, or benefits stuff for CxO positions, etc.

The first thing we would hear is that "Security is broken in your product". Then we would ask them to check the permissions on the documents in question and they would discover that then had *never secured them* in the first place. All our product did was allow people to find things they had failed to secure.

It's the same with the Internet, but obviously on a bigger scale. smile

-efm

_________________________

Everybody here's got a story to tell
Everybody's been through their own hell
There's nothing too special about getting hurt
Getting over it, that takes the work

- "Duck and Cover" by Glen Phillips

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#326760 - 03/30/10 11:12 PM Re: I Googled "TheBobcatAgain" [Re: Ever-fixed Mark]
westsidej Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/04/09
Posts: 150
Loc: Minnesota
The bobcat again et al.

This is a tough balance between security and sharing for guys already saddled w/ trust issues.

On one hand, if you post in the members section, then non-members can't see the posts.

Conversely, if you post on the public side, then the world can peer into the window that is your csa story.

Here's my thought process as a member who can post on either side. As part of my healing from CSA, I look at what I am posting and think to myself, what if this get's out? what if someone uses this against me? or what will my family/friends think of me?

Then, my therapy kicks in and I think to myself, screw it. If it happens, I can actually deal with it, unlike the last several decades of my life when I kept all of this buried with disastrous repercussions.

I'd rather take the risk of being "outed" (sorry my gay csa's brothers, couldn't help it;) by sharing my stories, helping out other brothers or just acknowledging that I listened to another brother share something he's keep hidden from most likely even his own family than by keeping my abuse private yet again.

I kept this f-ed up crap to myself for so long and thanks to my therapist, csa survivor group and especially ms.org, I'm totally willing to risk being exposed. I stay on the public side as much as possible so that I can share my experiences, both horrific and happy, with the largest number of my brothers to learn, grow, listen and make a difference to this community that I am so proud to be associated with even though I wish none of us went through the initiation to get here.

I agree w/ efm, even the private side's not truly private but it's more secure. We could get hacked tomorrow and our data stolen. Odds are it will not happen but that's the reality of the 'net.

So, that's how I call it. Is this the right advice for everyone on here right now? Of course not.

Do I hope that many of you get to the point where I am? Yes.

Do I still have a long way to go? Only as long as Sisyphus.


Quote:
One thing's for sure, I would never had made it to the point I am at right now in terms of healing from my abuse if not for ms.org and my brothers. Even my therapist told me today at our session she's seen remarkable progress over the past few months, which coincides w/ finding and joining a local male survivor group in the Twin Cities and ms.org


I hope that helps you. Public or private, this is still a very safe place for csa survivors like us and I look forward to hearing more of your posts and seeing you in the chat room.

Take care Bobcat & all of my brothers.

J


_________________________
My CSA story TRIGGERS!!!!

The hottest place in Hell is reserved for those who remain neutral in times of great moral conflict. Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

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#326773 - 03/31/10 12:00 AM Re: I Googled "TheBobcatAgain" [Re: westsidej]
TheBobcatAgain Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/13/10
Posts: 507
Loc: AZ, U.S.A.
Jay,

I think you are right. I didn't mean to suggest that I would stop posting here. I only meant that it was a shock for me at first, but I'm over that now. As you said: if word gets out, screw it. I have a right to tell my story if I want to. I have a right not to be ashamed of it if I feel like it. Does that mean everyone should? No. Everyone goes through recovery at their own pace, and their recovery might not even include letting others in the public know about it. Nothing wrong with that.

But for my recovery, I'm taking that risk anyway. smile

Thanks, Jay, for your sage advice.

Bobcat

_________________________
You don't have to be perfect to be wonderful.

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#326809 - 03/31/10 05:41 AM Re: I Googled "TheBobcatAgain" [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
Trucker51 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/20/08
Posts: 2826
Loc: Denver, CO
Have you ever Googled Trucker 51??? There are several people online that use that one!!! So which one am I???

_________________________
"We stay here, we die here. We've got to keep moving". Trucker Mark



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#326901 - 03/31/10 11:51 PM Re: I Googled "TheBobcatAgain" [Re: Trucker51]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
Originally Posted By: Trucker51
Have you ever Googled Trucker 51??? There are several people online that use that one!!! So which one am I???


Do you have MPD? smile smile lol

Allen


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