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#326486 - 03/28/10 07:55 PM ANGER!!
hurtandfoolish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/02/10
Posts: 13
Does anyone else fing that they get angry or agitated quickly? Somedays little things make me yell or want to break things!! Which sometimes I do. I feel like fighting alot as well!! Some other days however I feel fairly relaxed. How do you deal with rage?


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#326502 - 03/28/10 09:43 PM Re: ANGER!! [Re: hurtandfoolish]
wayne9 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/14/08
Posts: 161
Loc: alabama
I have never felt anger until the last few weeks. I only told about my csa about 3 months ago. At first I noticed I get very emotional but lately I feel more anger than I ever have. I also get this desire to throw something or tear something up but have not gave into it yet.


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#326509 - 03/28/10 10:43 PM Re: ANGER!! [Re: wayne9]
lungfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/26/08
Posts: 64
Loc: nowhere special nj
I can totally relate. For most of my life I would very rarely get mad but when I did I would totally lose control. Now that i am doing the recovery work that I need to and not numbing myself, I feel a tremendous amount of anger. I try not to be inappropriate or have my anger displaced into the wrong areas. I do find myself when out in public watching people very closely whom I think may act abusively so that I can vent my anger on someone whom might deserve it. I know this is not the right thing to do and I am hoping this will pass. I find myself daydreaming about coming to someones rescue because nobody ever came to mine.
I did recently join a jui-jitsu school and I find it rewarding to be very physical with a bunch of nice guys. Also I would suggest a punching bag to all those with anger issues but I think any exercise will help.

_________________________
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." Ralph Waldo Emerson

Personally I'm always ready to learn, although I do not always like to be taught. -Sir Winston Churchill

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#326586 - 03/29/10 05:26 PM Re: ANGER!! [Re: lungfish]
Chad Offline


Registered: 03/29/10
Posts: 3
Loc: USA
All I can say is that I can relate to that. I sometimes catch myself wanting to pick a fight. My anger with my family has been consuming me though. I have to agree with lungfish, exercise is probably the most productive.


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#326600 - 03/29/10 08:08 PM Re: ANGER!! [Re: Chad]
hurtandfoolish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/02/10
Posts: 13
I do exercise alot box, brazilian Jui Jitsu and MMA. It does calm me for a bit but I still feel rage at times. It can be consuming another thing I find is I think of sex constantly and my gf finds it disturbing that I think of it so much!! Does anyone else do this as well?


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#326902 - 04/01/10 12:00 AM Re: ANGER!! [Re: hurtandfoolish]
G5 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/12/04
Posts: 203
Loc: New Jersey
The rage is always there....and more so as I dig deeper. But I have been able to recognize that I am mad about my past and not take it out on others.....like my cats or my keyboard....or in the car....or at work...or......

Exercise helps, but only for a while. Talking about the abuse has done the most good for me.....talking face to face with others that have experienced the same. My anger is working it's way out, as I don't usually express it. Going to a weekend of recovery and meeting others like me has been a tremendous help in this area. And now I am lucky enough to have a support group as well....

Talk....share your thoughts, your fears, your pain and suffering.....and even your joy. We're all here to support one another......and we all can understand.

B-well,

Chris

_________________________
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#326906 - 04/01/10 12:21 AM Re: ANGER!! [Re: G5]
ericc Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/04/08
Posts: 1955
I get angry at times, though often it can be misplaced. More often that not I have turned my anger inward as depression and the like. I have a feeling my drinking was a means of numbing all feelings. I'm getting better and don't have any interest in heading back to that "place". I do get pretty pissed at times over where this has all lead to, but more often than not I just get depressed. I'm fighting for my freedom though and am working to shape a better tomorrow.

Eric


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#326944 - 04/01/10 09:49 AM Re: ANGER!! [Re: ericc]
kidneythis Offline


Registered: 11/08/09
Posts: 1558
I'm starting to realize that my ready access to those feelings of rage is from the abuse. I am also starting to think I am triggered to it by even the smallest indication that I am being manipulated. This may not be the best response but I find I am never wrong when I do trigger, the manipulation is always there.

This one is going to be hard to learn how to deal with.

_________________________
As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

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#326949 - 04/01/10 11:30 AM Re: ANGER!! [Re: kidneythis]
kidneythis Offline


Registered: 11/08/09
Posts: 1558
Lovely here it is several hours later and wham I get memories of the scum who did things to me and the idea of what I lost and how I'm not going to get justice inserted itself into my mind.
It seems the most likely path to happen.

Anyway I'm fucking angry! I have images of myself breaking the neck of the guy who broke my neck and the neck of my aunt who was instrumental in "stretching to help you grow" my neck to weaken it so that a 7 year old could break it. Fucking scum!

I want them to survive it and be paralyzed and taken care of by abusive hateful scum like I was.



Edited by kidneythis (04/01/10 11:31 AM)
_________________________
As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

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#327063 - 04/02/10 02:49 AM Re: ANGER!! [Re: hurtandfoolish]
Charlie24 Offline


Registered: 09/28/08
Posts: 562
How do I deal with the anger.

Well I also exercise that can help me burn off steam or just be when I need time to get away from the problem, think, just clear my mind. Help me calm down.

A great piece of advice I got from another survivor on here was that for so long we had to suppress anger, but he told me to let myself feel the anger, experience the emotion.

I think this is a good step and what I've learned to do is allow myself to get angry and not just push my feelings deep inside or just ignore myself. Really give myself the power to feel anger. Now comes the hard part getting angry and managing how I express myself.

Yeah sometimes I just have to cuss up a storm when I'm angry. Just get some steam off.

I think it's important to allow ourselves to feel the anger to find a way to deal with it.

Don't know if I'm much help learning with each new day how to keep going and just make it through the day.

Charlie.


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