I know I look dump for asking....but what do you mean when you say something triggers you.

"sets me off"
triggers like a gun: it sets off a reaction I cannot control, usually something powerful like anger, reactivating a repressed memory, feeling, etc.

an example for me is male authority figures who are successful- they remind me/trigger me into a cycle of fearing being hurt/betrayed/abused and my actions/reactions to this trigger are irrational/illogical behavior that is self-destructive: like I don't stand up for myself or defend myself in their presence.

So when I break into tears everytime I mention the fact that my CSA caused me to never have the joy of being a dad........this would be a trigger. Causes me to become so emotional that I feel as if I'm not a man....

hi wayne9,

first, you will never look dumb for asking a question here..

i agree with mountainous buck's de>

Wayne,

This is actually a great question...!!!

I had no idea what triggers were (though with enough recovery...I figured it out along the way).

Sometimes when triggered...I would dissociate without even realizing it...and to this day I am still not totally immune...(before recovery...I couldn't even spell this word...let alone figure out what it meant).

I always just thought that there was something wrong with me...(turns out this is just a another type of coping mechanism that is associated with csa...(I believe in of itself...to not be an absolutely negative thing)...

Perhaps this is too much information at this point in your recovery...(and perhaps not...I am not really sure)...but I don't want to stray too far off topic.

The best revenge is living a good life...!!! (and part of the healing process is figuring some of this stuff out).

I hope I have helped...(at last a little bit)...and thank you for posting this question...


Fight the Good Fight (Triumph)

island

Wayne, ask away. Everyone here is glad to help.

I get triggered as well when I see parents with kids for all the same reasons. That is actually a tough one for me. Makes me feel like a loser.

Eric

Triggers are different for everyone.

One of my big ones is going back to my hometown. Everything comes crashing down on me with little warning.

Triggers can be sensory (what we see, hear, smell, taste, touch), or they can be emotional.

So, you might have just eaten but if you walk past a bakery, the smell of fresh-baked bread may <trigger> a desire to have something to eat, even though you are not hungry. Hearing a song on the radio that used to by your song when you were with a now gone lover, could trigger feelings of sadness or loss.

On an emotional level, feeling a trigger emotion (i.e., hurt, rejection, abandonment, embarrassment, etc) may hit you harder even though the current trigger feeling doesn't have the power of the original trigger.

Seeing children playing happily on a ballfield may trigger a person because he is hit with sadness for not having that experience (or having it in the past but losing it due to abuse).

Anger is usually never the triggering feeling. There's something underneath that leads to anger.

For more info on triggers and how they affect you, see:
http://www.malesurvivor.org/ArchivedPages/singer2.html