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#325840 - 03/21/10 06:31 PM Conference postings
Ken Singer, LCSW Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/24/00
Posts: 5780
Loc: Lambertville, NJ USA
Just returned from the conf in NYC. I've been going to them since they began, missing maybe two over the years. From my perspective, this one was the best. The quality of the presentations, the facilities, the help from student volunteers from John Jay, the food, and the organization of the conference staff was superb. (I wouldn't know where to begin in terms of thanking all that put their energy into this very rewarding but difficult and time-consuming venture, and a lot of credit goes to Trish Massa, our adm assistant who was at the registration desk from the opening bell til the conf ended Sunday.)

Knowing that participants are probably coming back from a real high to real life sharing their experiences with friends and family who weren't there and probably have no idea of what they are talking about, we wanted to use the forum here as a place to post your feelings and experiences, highlights and memories for others who were there to share (or wished they could have come but couldn't for one reason or another.)

So guys, feel free to post your thoughts, rememberances and thank yous in this space. It will be here for a while and maybe those who didn't come will get a taste of what was a powerful conference.


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#325844 - 03/21/10 07:05 PM Re: Conference postings [Re: Ken Singer, LCSW]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
What were some of the meetings like?

Or did you spend the whole time eating? smile lol

Allen

pufferfish




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#325890 - 03/22/10 04:41 AM Re: Conference postings [Re: pufferfish]
Trucker51 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/20/08
Posts: 2826
Loc: Denver, CO
Part #1: Getting there, Thursday and Friday morning.

Let's see:

The flight out was uneventful though it was late getting into LGA. By the time that I got checked into my hotel it was nearly 1:00 AM, then I couldn't sleep. I woke-up a little late then some woman stole my taxicab so I had to ride the 8th Avenue subway up to Columbus Circle then walk a fair distance. I know that I need some exercise, but it was getting a bit ridiculous when I finally got there. The guard at the reception desk welcomed me to the conference and pointed me to the elevators. When I arrived on the 6th floor Dale English welcomed me right away, then it was right into Mike Lew's group maybe 20 minutes late, though I missed the opening address.

There were a number of MS guys in Mike Lew's group, most of whom I was expecting, though seeing Larry and Lewis was an added bonus. I took my place and announced that I was the "infamous" Trucker 51 from Denver, and right away it seemed that half of the crowd knew me. Mike's group was a bit overbooked, but another therapist that knows Mike helped facilitate the group, so somehow we managed. There were a few empty chairs left in the room, we probably could have handled a few more people too, though I don't think that the air-conditioning system could have, as it was really struggling to keep up with the load as the outside temperature rose into the low 70s.

Right off there were a couple of New Zealanders that were really friendly, plus Alastair Hilton, another Brit who was also quite friendly, and their immediate friendship set the tone for the next few days. Robert Berube was also there from Canada, he was another very friendly guy who I had previously met on Facebook. Gavin (Logan) and Ryan (Riley) were there, as were Ron, Andy (Nevragan), and Jay (Gentle Soul). In our first one-on-one I got to meet and talk at length with Mike's assistant Jeff Conway, in the afternoon one-on-one I got to meet Mike (Needtobefreed), a newer MS siteuser, and felt that our time together was productive. I went to lunch at Jake's Irish Pub with Larry, Lewis, and Gavin, and we were late getting back, where I totally straight-faced used my "woman stole my taxicab" excuse for the 2nd time, which brought a big laugh from the group. It was such a good joke that Mike used it again later. As we gave our closing thoughts, I lived-up to my "Director of Recreation" position and announced that I had arranged a group dinner at a 5-star hotel 25 blocks from the Conference. After 30 minutes of group interaction and again failing to get a taxicab, Gavin and I led a group of 12 guys on the long walk off to the subway for a ride to 34th St and Herald Square. Have you ever been on a NYC subway in midtown in rush hour??? It was quite an experience for all of us, trapped like rats in the huge surging throng.

I really had no idea what to expect when we arrived at the Hotel Metro, but I had made a group dinner reservation there and had requested a private dining room. From the information on their website, they looked like a highend hotel property. We came in and were led right to their private dining room, where Remy and Castle awaited us. Shortly after arrival Steve Bevan showed-up with one of his group members from England, and suddenly we had 17 guys, all jabbering away. Poor Ryan insisted on leaving to catch a train a half-hour later, but the rest of us enjoyed a decent dinner in an above-average setting with quality service at a moderate price. Our bill came to $780. Several of us stayed talking until 9:00 and then it was back to my hotel. Thanks Jason, my hotel was really a good value for $99/night!!!

I stayed at the nearly new Candlewood Suites hotel on 39th Street between 8th and 9th Avenue. It is sort of an unusual property, in that it shares the same building with both a Holiday Inn Select and a Hampton Inn. My room (#1401) had a 37-inch flatscreen, a full kitchen including a fullsize refrigerator, 2-burner cooktop, a built-in microwave, and a dishwasher, with free internet that I didn't use. My room had a nice recliner, a 2-person dining and work table, individually-controllable AC and heat, and a quality queen pillowtop bed, like I said, almost brand-new. The subway was a few blocks away either north or south, this hotel would be a great place for anyone arriving into Penn Station too, as it is just 5 blocks north of the station.

Friday my luck changed, and I caught a cab right away and arrived at John Jay almost on-time. Ryan had given me a personal letter that he had hoped to get to Theo Fleury, the former NHL hockey star who spoke at the morning address. After the morning address concluded I did meet Mr Fluery, got to talk with him for a minute, and he took Ryan's letter. I then bought a couple of copies of his book and he wrote a personal message to Ryan in one of them before autographing it. So that portion of my day went unbelievably well, and Ryan will get a gift that he will remember of a long time. I wrote "Trucker Mark" on my nametag and was really surprised at just how many people in attendance knew me by my site username.

My basic goal from the outset had been to meet some of the people in attendance, a goal which I greatly exceeded right from the start. I ended-up meeting probably 40-50 people during my 3 days there, in fact, most of them were really happy to meet me, more than half of whom were therapists, MS staff, even staff members from other support organizations all over the world. I did really well meeting people, such a good job that I skipped-out on the Friday morning movie that I had been signed-up for, instead meeting several more people and catching-up with a few that I had met on Thursday too. I had a lot of fun meeting all of the people there that I did. All through the Conference I kept bumping into Jim (Geeders), Ron (Sans Logos), Andy (Nevragan), our site Administrator John (Walkingsouth), Ken Singer, and Gavin, plus Ken Followell and a couple of MS BoD members repeatedly too. I learned a whole lot just through my personal interaction with everyone in attendance there. My personal experience was very positive through the Friday lunch, where I met Ken and John, and Ken gave me an autographed copy of his new book, EVICTING THE PERPETRATOR, hoping to replace the pdf copy that I used to write my review in the recent MS newsletter. It seemed that every time that I went out to the sidewalk for a smoke that Gavin or Robert Berube or one of the New Zealanders would be outside too, the conference was a really friendly place, sorry that those of you who didn't make it missed the level of camaraderie and understanding that was present there.

Stay tuned for Part Two, Friday afternoon and Saturday, it is getting late here.

Thanks again for the book Ken,

Mark



_________________________
"We stay here, we die here. We've got to keep moving". Trucker Mark



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#325931 - 03/22/10 05:55 PM Re: Conference postings [Re: Trucker51]
Trucker51 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/20/08
Posts: 2826
Loc: Denver, CO
Part Two: Friday afternoon, Saturday, and the flight home.

Hi again:

As I previously mentioned, I sat with John (Walkingsouth), Ken Singer, Ron, Andy (Nevragan), and Jim for lunch Friday during the MS annual meeting. The lunch buffet was decent group food, with prepared sandwiches, wraps, and several different salads. The annual meeting went well as several key MS personnel gave accounts of their volunteer work for the organization. All of us MS members then got to comment on then vote on several specific proposals, one of which went down in flames, I really didn't think that it would be a good change myself as it would have caused the infliction of public humiliation and shame on the affected party. After lunch the mother/son enmeshment presentation by Kenneth Adams, PH.D, was really good, and I found myself comparing a lot of his aspects to my wife's relationship with her father, which made me wonder whether she had been abused by him. Earlier in my life, my mother and I had been enmeshed, but I grew away from that enmeshment in my late teens and 20s. It was a surprisingly good presentation that left a number of people wiping their eyes.

My late afternoon group did not live up to my expectations. John, Ken, Ron, Larry, and Lewis were all a part of this group, a group entitled "Providing Online Support to Male Survivors". I had hoped to be able to learn the finer points of something that I now have almost 2 years of experience in, instead, we were given what amounted to a sales meeting with a struggling enterprise, where their "learning curve" and past mistakes were glossed over with what they still had hopes to accomplish given their financial constraints. A spokesperson from the women's issues support group RAINN, which 1-in-6 is working with, right off let all of us know how little that she understood about the finer points of "providing online support to male survivors". They were a hopeful group, hoping for another chance to build their organization given their "learning curve", but their presentation made me realize just how lucky that we all are to have MS standing tall and leading the way for us. For those of you that might use their support services, 1-in-6 does offer online male survivor crisis counseling 3 nights per week for 5 hours per night, using "trained" volunteers that have completed 40 hours of crisis management training, 38 hours of which is designed to assist women in crisis. It was my feeling leaving the group at 5:00 PM that my time could have been better spent.

The next event was book signing by a number of authors that had books for sale at the conference. It was here where I reconnected with Mic Hunter, who had been my 4th therapist in 1997-1998. He thanked me for my continuing promotional efforts concerning his first book "ABUSED BOYS", which I have always thought to be a very good introductory recovery text. Right next to Mic was Mikele Rauch, who I had previously talked with on the phone, so I bought her book and both she and Mic signed it. She gave me a big hug and invited me to attend a Weekend of Recovery, where she has in the past acted as a counselor. I ended-up buying 5 different books in fact, and I have already started reading through my copy of THE FRANKLIN SCANDAL, which is about the abuse of children drawn from the population at Boys Town in Omaha and a public governmental effort to cover it up. So far it has been a very good book.

After the book signing the next group would have been the International Panel, but several of us were already getting hungry, so we skipped-out and headed a block down the street to Jake's Irish Pub, where we enjoyed a decent dinner in a boisterous environment. Again Gavin was a part of the dinner, along with Andy (Nevragan) and Jay (Gentle Soul). It was good to get off of our feet, relax, debrief and wind down. I don't know how some of these conference presenters and attendees do it, going nonstop from 7:30 AM right through 10:30 PM, though I have worked many days that long driving a semi, so it is possible. After our dinner I headed back to my hotel, pretty much exhausted, I guess several of the other guys headed over to Times Square, Jim (Geeders) has photos of his trip there on Facebook, plus Ron has a number of conference photos on his Facebook page too.

Saturday morning I woke-up late, then there was a line to check-out of my hotel so I went out for a smoke, and there was an empty cab standing in front of the hotel, so my luck was changing. I got to the conference quite late and missed the DID presentation, and right away there were my friends from Thursday and Friday out on the sidewalk, where we engaged in a round of handshakes and stories from the night before. At the registration desk they were out of nametags but Ken Followell said that by then everyone there knew who I was, (which was pretty much true). I was supposed to attend the movie Favorite Son, but I was also trying to meet with Ann Boyer and Karen Terry concerning my nomination to serve on a committee with them. I found Karen Terry over at the Awards Luncheon well before the event started, and we talked with MS BoD member Marc Spindelman, who I had previously met Friday morning. Then my friends from New Zealand showed up, and I ended-up sitting at their table with Andy and Gavin for the Awards presentation.

The awards luncheon buffet was decent food, with several hot dishes and several cold salads. It was a good event that enabled me to put more names with faces. Most of our mod team was seated at a table adjacent to ours, and they got a big round of applause when their names were announced. John then gave a group speech, then he handed me Andy's (Former Texan) trophy, which I delivered to him last night when we had dinner out in Boulder with Alan (Hauser). Alastair Hilton, my by now British friend, was given an award for his work. Currently he is trying to set-up survivor support services in Cambodia. After the luncheon and another smoke with Gavin, I was finally able to meet with Ann Boyer about our upcoming committee assignment. The afternoon featured speaker presentation entitled "Assigning Blame: An Understanding of Responsibility" with Larry Lessig, was a great multimedia presentation in John Jay's largest theater.

After the Larry Lessig presentation it was 3:15 PM and my flight home out of LaGuardia was at 5:45 PM. I said my goodbyes and was surprised by how many people were really sorry to see me have to leave early. I got to fly for free on Southwest Airlines, but Sunday and Monday were blackout dates, looking back I wish that I had been able to stay until Tuesday. I saw Gavin one last time, and got hugs from both of my friends from New Zealand, Ken Clearwater and David Passell, and they gave me their business cards. (Reminder: Have business cards printed up before the next conference)!!! It turned-out that both of them represent an organization called Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse Trust, David out of Auckland and Ken out of Christchurch. I guess that now New Zealand is on my list of places that I want to visit someday, both David and Ken were really friendly guys. Even Alastair Hilton and I hugged. I shook hands one last time with Jim, Andy, Robert, and Ron, then Jim and I walked across the street where I flagged a taxi and we said goodbye.

My MS Conference experience was a powerful experience, where I made many new friends and met many people active in supporting victims of childhood sexual abuse. Not only that, but I have been invited back to NYC to stay for free this time. Thanks a lot Gavin, and you are certainly welcome too. I have business cards from both of the New Zealanders and Alastair Hilton too. Should I put Cambodia on my list of places to visit too??? Now I have to write a little letter and get Ryan's book in the mail, a great reward for having the courage to participate in his first recovery event, thanks Theo. I'm going to have to get back to Ontario one of these days too, back to both Toronto and London, so that I can yet buy Jim that drink that I promised him, and hang-out some more with Robert Berube, who also helped greatly in making this conference a survivor-friendly place.

Thanks to all of us, this conference was a great success. Are we doing anything special for all of the John Jay student volunteers? They did a superb job and deserve some recognition certainly. Even my NYC cabbies were friendly, several people out at LaGuardia too. I slept all the way to Midway, then on the flight from there to Denver I sat with a Canadian guy and some Republican gal who was highly opposed to health care reform, so we went round and round about the failings of our system of providing health care here. Our Canadian seatmate seemed to be generally supportive of his health care options at home, so he helped me tagteam our poor Republican friend, who ended-up spilling her drink down in her crotch, "oooh" she said, as she squirmed helplessly around as the ice melted and soaked in, trapped in the middle seat with no way out!!! All that I could think of was "serves you right", man was it funny!!!

Next time I hope to see all of you guys there, it was really a lot of fun for me being a part of my first MS conference, and I know that a lot of us had a good deal of fun and perhaps learned a little something about recovery and each other attending too.

Mark

_________________________
"We stay here, we die here. We've got to keep moving". Trucker Mark



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#325932 - 03/22/10 06:24 PM Re: Conference postings [Re: Trucker51]
king tut Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/13/08
Posts: 2469
Loc: UK
Wow, after i finish reading Marks posts and get a little time i am going to give my review and i will post it here- in short- it was fantastic! best experience of my life so far i think. Really really great. I'm still in New York! fly home wednesday, a great city!

_________________________
"...until lambs become lions"

I love you, little lewis, and i will never leave you. We are the same. You brighten my day, and i will make sure that i brighten yours. Hugs and kisses.


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#325934 - 03/22/10 06:30 PM Re: Conference postings [Re: Trucker51]
Ever-fixed Mark Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/02/10
Posts: 729
Loc: United States
Thanks for the recap Trucker Mark, I wish I'd been able to make it there myself. Having worked on a lot of conferences as Staff, Crew, or Speaker I know how much work they are and how much effort it takes to pull them off.

Congratulations to the whole Board, Staff, and Volunteer team for such a success. Here's hoping I can make it next time.

-efm

_________________________

Everybody here's got a story to tell
Everybody's been through their own hell
There's nothing too special about getting hurt
Getting over it, that takes the work

- "Duck and Cover" by Glen Phillips

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#325939 - 03/22/10 07:01 PM Re: Conference postings [Re: pufferfish]
Sans Logos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5791
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
allen, you would have loved the general session led by robert oxnam. i think you have spoken of him in posts here before, but he is the poster child for DID and they actually did a segment on him with 60 minutes. the session began as they showed that segment, and then robert took the podium and shared his struggles and triumphs. i thought of you the entire time.

warm regards,

ron

_________________________
  1. the past
  2. ReClaiming Now
  3. advocacy


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#325952 - 03/22/10 08:49 PM Re: Conference postings [Re: Sans Logos]
petercorbett Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/27/08
Posts: 2452
Loc: TEXAS
Hi, my fraternal brothers,

Thanks for the brieing on that conference.


I would liked to have been there, but little Pete needs a WoR more. Many difficult things to work through.

Thanks again, Trucker51 (Mark), heal well, my brother, heal well.

Little Pete & big Pete, trying desperately to become 1.

_________________________
Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953
____________________________________________________________
A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA.
May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010.
Hope Springs, 2010.


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#325958 - 03/22/10 10:10 PM Re: Conference postings [Re: petercorbett]
Riley Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/11/09
Posts: 597
Loc: USA
Well I only attended Mike Lew's workshop on Thursday but it was AMAZING. It was the very first time I met ANY open survivor and even though I was 30 min late I was met with open arms and by the end I made 50 brand new friends. Gavin, Mark (you have no idea how much delivering that letter means to me), Robert Berube, Dave from Vancouver (who was at the gold medal hockey game I may add) and Bruce McKay from Canada were all absolutely amazing to me and they deserve a real thanks. Plus meeting Lewis, Jay, Ron, Andy, and Ken Clearwater were really icing on the cake that made it the most amazing experience in my recovery if not my life. I am awful with names but there were so many more that made the experience wonderful.

After this experience I can guarantee I will stay the entire conference next time and take Mark's advice to stay in NYC rather then leave late and sleep through my train stop (long story).

I'm still in awe from the experience and can not wait to send out e-mails to my new friends.


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#325963 - 03/22/10 11:49 PM Re: Conference postings [Re: Sans Logos]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
Originally Posted By: Sans Logos
allen, you would have loved the general session led by robert oxnam. i think you have spoken of him in posts here before, but he is the poster child for DID and they actually did a segment on him with 60 minutes. the session began as they showed that segment, and then robert took the podium and shared his struggles and triumphs. i thought of you the entire time.

warm regards,

ron


Thanks ron

I would have loved to have been there. This session sounds like it would have been extremely important to me and others. I am just about through with his book now. The great variability of DID / MPD from one person to the next makes it hard to figure out.

Allen

pufferfish


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#325964 - 03/23/10 12:16 AM Re: Conference postings [Re: Trucker51]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
Originally Posted By: Trucker51
Part Two: Friday afternoon, Saturday, and the flight home.
...
My MS Conference experience was a powerful experience, where I made many new friends and met many people active in supporting victims of childhood sexual abuse.
...
Thanks to all of us, this conference was a great success. Are we doing anything special for all of the John Jay student volunteers? They did a superb job and deserve some recognition certainly.
...
Next time I hope to see all of you guys there, it was really a lot of fun for me being a part of my first MS conference, and I know that a lot of us had a good deal of fun and perhaps learned a little something about recovery and each other attending too.

Mark


Mark,

I deeply appreciate all of your reports on the Conference. Thank you so very much.

Allen

pufferfish


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#325992 - 03/23/10 12:50 PM Re: Conference postings [Re: pufferfish]
GentleSoul Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/05/07
Posts: 237
Loc: Manhattan
Hey guys,

I enjoyed the conference so much and it was everything that I expected and more. I have learned so much from the workshops and awesome peeps there and I hope it's not inappropriate if I share with you guys some of the things that opened my eyes. There were so many awesome workshops and I wish I could've attended all of them - well maybe not all. It was also really nice to connect with peeps I've meet throughout other WoRs. There's so much information, and a lot more emotions that I need to process, but I'll try to share what I can recall.

Mike Lew's workshop on Thursday was a mind boggling one. He shared some of his views on masculinity and how patriarchical stereotypes, of how boys are supposed to act and feel, have influenced our coping mechanisms. But most importantly, he shared that the reason why we have a hard time getting in touch with our emotions is because we're taught to only recognize only one emotion at a time. This made so much sense because we are complex organisms and I have to agree that sometimes I feel a gamut of emotions, especially when I act out or beat myself up. From a recovery standpoint, I can apply this concept when I feel triggered and address any and all emotions, as opposed to just tackling the primary one.

There was actually a funny moment when I was a reading off a list of common characteristics that myself and 6 other survivors came up with. I took the initiative to read our list after about 15 minutes and after other group representatives read their list, I started reading mine. I was also the one who wrote the common characteristics on this really big piece of paper and I was reading it off one by one. Finally, I came across the item "Need to be heard" but what I actually wrote was "Need to be hard" and fortunately I caught that typo right before I read it out loud. Uggghhhh! I was like so embarassed n' stuff... blush

The one exercise that just blew me away was a role playing exercise. One of my previous therapists suggested doing it but I was in no way, shape, or form to do it. I probably shouldn't get into specifics but we were given instructions to partner up with another person and take turns asking and answering two questions, while imagining the question was coming from the person who sexually abused us. Mike also suggested refraining from using possesive sentences like "my abuse" or "my abuser". Also, when all of us took turns verbalizing our goals, he requested several survivors to phrase it into a declaration, versus a question. Kinda falls along the line that it's not what you say, but how you say it that will make a message most effective. Anyways, the role playing exercise was a really intense exercise and a lot of members were visibly affected emotionally because verbalizing suppressed feelings is just so cathartic and it caught some guys off guard who were expecting a seminar type workshop where all you did was just listen to a lecture.

There also so many things I want to share like how anger is really a form of suffering from an earlier trauma like embarassment or rejection. If you really analyze why you're angry, you can probably trace the energy back to an experience in childhood. In fact, anger is probably a shroud that masks other emotions and if you can process all of the emotions and recognize that suffering, you can probably change your reaction to other similar stimuli that got you angry in the first place. It was an "Ah-ha!" moment and it just really clicked with me.

I also attended this one workshop on EMI™ (Eye Movement Integration) and it was just awesome!! The specialist asked this one volunteer a series of questions and he pointed out how his responses were initiated by how and where his eyes moved. For example, the specialist asked the guy if he can remember what his house looks like and the guy first looked at a particular direction before answering the question. Depending on the question, the specialist stated that when we're asked about a disturbing memory for example, our eyes look down and to the right. I don't really quite remember because I was dissociating n' stuff. So depending on the question, there's a discernable pattern on how each of us access our memories, based on where and how our eyes move. After the specialist asked a series of questions, he stated that he 'mapped' out the guy's cognitive thingies. There so much more but I'm sure you guys don't wanna hear about it... grin

That's all for now doods. I'll share more when I remember things n' stuff.

Jay



Edited by GentleSoul (03/23/10 12:51 PM)
_________________________
I can finally admit I pretend to say and do nice things so people will think I'm a standout guy.

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#326002 - 03/23/10 02:46 PM Re: Conference postings [Re: GentleSoul]
sono Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/19/09
Posts: 1069
Hey thank all of you guys for sharing these experiences from the conference. I am really deeply disappointed that I was busy on the weekend. It's great to hear about it all and what a wonderful experience it clearly was for all who were there.

Jay, your de>
_________________________
the family
the perp

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#326010 - 03/23/10 05:15 PM Re: Conference postings [Re: sono]
Logan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/05/03
Posts: 1238
Loc: NY
Ok, finally found the post that you were talking about.

I have not read anyone's post/reply's yet. Too much Home work still to catch up on, but I will.

In short the whole experience was truly AMAZING!

The Workshops were great and very helpful!

I think what I enjoyed most was the networking aspect of it all: to meet all of those that I have spoke with here for so long and to meet many of the experts in the field, including you Ken. It was all an honor.

The Mike Lew Workshop on thursday was very helpful.

I am still processing it all and think I will be for some time to come.

I have to drive home now and continue to catch up for school.

I am so, so ,so grateful and thankful to have made some of your acquaintances, and can now call you guys true friends-that means so fuckin' much to me, I cannot begin to fully express it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sincerely,
Logan (those of you that I had the honor of meeting, know who I am)

Oh, One thing I want to quickly say and will follow up on further later is that I made a tremendous leap in my recovering and healing in that for the first time ever I was able to internalize the messages that I have wanted to believe, but never emotionally did!

_________________________
"Terrible thing to live in Fear"-Shawshank Redemption
WOR Alumnus Hope Springs 2009
"Quite a thing to live in fear, this is what is means to be a slave"
-Blade Runner

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#326026 - 03/23/10 08:57 PM Re: Conference postings [Re: Logan]
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16265
Logan,

It was such a pleasure to meet you and to spend even a little time in your company. I so much enjoyed it that you guys in the Pennsylvania support group invited myself and the other two guys out to eat with you Saturday evening. All of us walking down the street together, eating together, talking, laughing, and all that was just so awesome. Thanks!

Originally Posted By: Logan
Oh, One thing I want to quickly say and will follow up on further later is that I made a tremendous leap in my recovering and healing in that for the first time ever I was able to internalize the messages that I have wanted to believe, but never emotionally did!

Honestly, I could tell as the weekend progressed that you were finding yourself able to connect those dots! By the time the weekend was over you just seemed so much more at ease and at home within yourself. It was just so cool to see it happening.

Glad you have such a great support group to be a part of. Keep with it!

John

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#326040 - 03/24/10 12:33 AM Re: Conference postings [Re: WalkingSouth]
tartugas Offline
Board Member
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 02/11/07
Posts: 513
Loc: NYC
My own 2 cents...

An amazing conference. Though I spent more time working to try and help out with stuff around the edges and less time actually attending this time, I still was able to see a few workshops that were very important to me (especially Paul Linden's and Dr. Steven Gold's presentations).

There are two things though that I will carry away from this past weekend that I want to share. First - I have never seen such a hopeful, resilient, and positive wave of healing and hope. It seemed as though almost everyone I saw was surfing on an emotional high, Ken Adams said it more eloquently that I could at the start of this thread, but it's a sense that everyone I spoke to also felt and commented on. Secondly, for me, I honestly felt open and happy and connected in a way that I don't think I ever have before. My normal impulse to push people away was, for once, not in control and I found it joyful to embrace the love and happiness I received from so many others.

Can't wait for the next one... all right, maybe a little down time first.

T

_________________________
"I am not a mechanism, an assembly of various sections.
And it is not because the mechanism is working wrongly, that I am ill.
I am ill because of wounds to the soul, to the deep emotional self...."
Healing D.H. Lawrence

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#326052 - 03/24/10 12:04 PM Re: Conference postings [Re: tartugas]
pal_ Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/07/04
Posts: 27
It was a very positive experience for me, one i won't soon forget. Thanks to all who made it possible.

-peter-

_________________________
Silent company is often more healing than words of advice...

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#326076 - 03/24/10 03:15 PM Re: Conference postings [Re: pal_]
GentleSoul Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/05/07
Posts: 237
Loc: Manhattan
I was finally able to get some down time yesterday and really appreciate the experience of the conference. I went out for lunch and found this quiet parking lot overlooking a canyon, played a little Sarah McLachlan, and allowed my emotions to take over. cry

Yes, I admit it; I cried!!! I lost some major Manpoints, not to mention Coolpoints, yesterday. The whole conference was just emotionally overwhelming and I cried tears of joy, hope, and sadness. I'm so happy for learning so much and excited that I have so many things to share with you all.

A survivor's partner attended one of Ken Singer's workshop and shared one of the most profound statements I've heard throughout the weekend. She shared that the more we trust, the less we need to control. It's no secret we survivors have this love-hate relationship with control. We try to control our environment, people, and particularly our emotions. I'm sure you've all realized that it's utterly futile to control the world; but we can change the way we react to things that affect us.

I also had the pleasure of attending one of Joe Kort's workshops. I actually attended it by mistake and I have to admit he's changed since he played Harold from the movie, "Harold & Maude". However, I have to admit I enjoyed what he had to share and presented some very persuasive concepts about how our sexual abuse has influenced and molded our view of intimacy and how we love other people.

One of the highlights for me was just sitting on a park bench in Central Park and just cherishing that moment in that awesome atmosphere. The sun was shining, people were just chillaxin or exercising, and it was just serene. I visited Times Square but I was just overloaded with all of the lights and facades. It reminded me of Vegas - so much glitter but it lacked substance and depth. More to come doods... I'm just gettin' started.

cool

_________________________
I can finally admit I pretend to say and do nice things so people will think I'm a standout guy.

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#326082 - 03/24/10 04:13 PM Re: Conference postings [Re: GentleSoul]
Ever-fixed Mark Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/02/10
Posts: 729
Loc: United States
Thanks GentleSoul, I had a Sarah McLachlan moment myself a few minutes ago (Hold on, hold on to yourself... This is gonna hurt like hell).

I'm looking forward to the insights and recollections of yourself and any other attendees willing to share.

-efm

_________________________

Everybody here's got a story to tell
Everybody's been through their own hell
There's nothing too special about getting hurt
Getting over it, that takes the work

- "Duck and Cover" by Glen Phillips

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#326114 - 03/24/10 10:32 PM Re: Conference postings [Re: GentleSoul]
mrrecovery Offline


Registered: 07/22/08
Posts: 80
Originally Posted By: GentleSoul


Yes, I admit it; I cried!!! I lost some major Manpoints, not to mention Coolpoints, yesterday.


I hope you are joking! As i said at the conference, i am not afraid to cry...and i will feel no shame over it...i don't ever want to cause any more self-inflicted shame!

I have a lot to process and will try to journal about everything...in the meantime, these are the sessions that i attended:

Thursday:
1) Mike Lew - Victims No Longer, A Recovery Workshop

Friday:
2) Theo Fleury - Playing with Fire
3) Howard Fradkin - Dare to Dream, Building a Healthier Male Survivor Community One Weekend at a Time
4) David Stewart - Instinctive Writing, Opening the Door to Healing
5) Kenneth Adams - Mother-Son Enmeshment, When Closeness Overwhelms
6) Captain William Carson - Women Who Molest Children, A Study of 18 Convicted Offenders
7)Author reception and book signing
8) Weekends of Recovery Alumni Reunion

Saturday:
9) Robert Oxnam - Cohesive Multiplicity, Living with Dissassociative Identity Disorder
10) Ed Erghott - Using Somatic Experience as Therapy
11) Special Recognition Luncheon
12) Joe Kort - Mommy Nearest, Mother-Son Incest and the Impact on Adult Males
13) Joe Clemente - Profiler Profiled: AN FBI Profiler is Forced to Reveal his Secret Past

Sunday:
14) Robert Weiss - Untangling the Web, Understanding and Healing from Sex and Love Addiction
15) Bruce Frieden - Easy Sex, Good Things to Know about Male Sexual Functioning





Edited by mrrecovery (03/24/10 10:32 PM)
_________________________
WoR Alumni - Mysthaven Nov 7-9, 2008; Advanced WoR - Alta Sept 11-13, 2009, Mike Lew Victims No Longer Workshop 2010, Malesurvivor International Conference 2010

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#326212 - 03/25/10 08:59 PM Re: Conference postings [Re: GentleSoul]
Deved Offline


Registered: 04/18/08
Posts: 24
Loc: British Columbia
Hey Jay!

I agree the conference was amazing... and the day long institute with Mike Lew was profound.

It was good to meet you too and have dinner with you Thursday along with all the other guys.

Dave (in Vancouver, BC)

_________________________
"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." ~Albert Einstein

"Try not to become a man of success but rather to become a man of value." ~Albert Einstein

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#326299 - 03/26/10 09:02 PM Re: Conference postings [Re: Riley]
Deved Offline


Registered: 04/18/08
Posts: 24
Loc: British Columbia
Hey... it's Dave in Vancouver... after meeting so many great guys at the conference, I felt I had to come back on here and check it out some more. I concur that the day with Mike Lew was incredible.

_________________________
"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." ~Albert Einstein

"Try not to become a man of success but rather to become a man of value." ~Albert Einstein

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#326305 - 03/26/10 10:26 PM Re: Conference postings [Re: Deved]
Geeders Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/03/08
Posts: 1901
Loc: Peterborough, Ontario, Canada
My fellow Air Canada Refugee!

I met many great people while at the conference, yourself included. As well as Ron, and Ken, and Lewis who I have worked closely with for almost a year, but not met before.

I met Mike Lew last year when he was in Kitchener. I really liked him. I'm thinking about attending his weekend in Kirkridge in August if I can swing the bucks.

Also met Mic Hunter, and Richard Gartner for the first time. And then there was the man who helped kick start my recovery, Rick Goodwin from the Men's project in Ottawa..

And there is Jay, Pete and Andy. Logan, Anarion (sp?) and another Dave. And Gabe my room mate at the Y, a truly wonderful guy. Gary from Oz. Steve from the UK. Ken from New Zealand, and Werner from Switzerland. Man, my brain is over heating just trying to remember all the names. Robert! Can't forget Robert. He's Canadian! grin As is Bruce, and another friend, Mr. Recovery. (Also sighted at La Guardia after you left) And there is George from my WoR, and Simon from across the pond. I know I've forgotten to name many here as well. My brain is now mush.

I'd like to also give a special shout out to Trisha, our very special staffer from MS for going the distance, and making sure everything was perfect. Thanks Trisha! You are WONDERFUL!

Glad you dropped in Dave. Do it again soon!

Jim

_________________________
My name is Jim
WoR Mysthaven 2008, Level 2 WoR Alta 2009, Kirkridge 2010, 2011, Oprah 200 men

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#326312 - 03/26/10 11:07 PM Re: Conference postings [Re: Deved]
king tut Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/13/08
Posts: 2469
Loc: UK
It has been almost a week since the conference, and my opinion of it hasn't changed. I always try to be careful with words, but i still think that i can say that the conference was the greatest experience of my life so far. I have never before felt so accepted, so loved, and so safe. And certainly never felt that way by so many people.

To everybody that came up to me and said hi, or said "king tut!", i am so grateful! I have never felt so happy.

I attended the Thursday Mike Lew workshop. This was a really good idea because it allowed me to make bonds with people which helped bonding throughout the weekend, and i met even more people throughout the weekend. I have been to a Mike Lew workshop before, and each time you learn something new about recovery and about yourself, and about the nature of the world and other people, and friendship. An EXTREMELY powerful experience.

I wish i could be as detailed as Mark in his post, but there are far too many people to mention. I keep thinking back to everybody that i met, and it is unbelievable. Everybody was so nice, so understanding, so friendly, so great! it was fantastic meeting so many people here from the site, and having dinner with many of you. It was great meeting the members of the modteam and administration in person- i am just completely honoured to be working with you all! Such great guys!

It was fantastic seeing Mike Lew again, he is such a great guy, and he always has it exactly right. I was pleased to attend a workshop run by Jeff Conway, who also helped out at Mike Lews workshop. I saw Mic hunter but did not have the opportunity to talk to him. I talked to Richard Gartner a little, he is a very approachable and friendly man. I was also honoured to have lunch with Ken Singer, an amazing member of our team and an amazing person. I have books by most of these guys so it was amazing being able to meet them in person. Actually, so many of the guys i had the privilege of talking to who came to the conference have their own initatives and organisations that all deserve a mention- although i haven't got the brain capacity or time to do that lol. One such person, his name is Bob F, has a group called VitalCycles- i talked to him for a while and he really knows what he is doing, a really knowledgeable guy, he has a website by that same name. I went to Joe Korts workshop, it was about SMSM (straight men who have sex with men). It was the best short workshop that i attended because it is where i learnt the most. It certainly kept me thinking and questioning and he was very good with his responses. I learnt some new things. It was also nice to see Steve from AMSOSA there, that was a really pleasant suprise!

A special thanks to Mark for organising the dinner on Thursday night, really thank you, it worked out brilliantly. You really helped to make the occassion special and memorable.

A special thanks to Logan for taking me to the Empire state building, and sticking around even though you had lots of work to do, it was an immensely powerful experience and i look forward to the next time our paths cross.

Also to John (walkingsouth), thanks for the brilliant speech you made and thanks for the long talks we had and for looking out for me. It was so great having lunch with you and i really enjoy your enthusiasm for life and your smile. When you smile i can really see your inner child shining through. You really are an inspiration.

And Larry, without you i wouldn't have been there at all, i don't have to tell you how much you mean to me, and how much you have done for this cause. You certainly are a saint. Thanks for being my voice when i can't find it, and being my rock when things get hard.

And Dale, and the whole of your group (i would try naming everybody but i always get names muddled up), thanks so much for the dinner we had, it was so good talking to all of you and really inspirational seeing the bond you all have with eachother, and experiencing the friendliness and warmth that you give out. Thanks for being so nice, so kind, so accepting. You are really good guys.

There were many workshops that i wanted to attend but you can't attend them all because they are on at the same time.

I held back many tears during the conference, but they were tears of joy. I remember at the end of Mike Lews workshop (after a certain powerful exercise) we were all clapping, and it hit me, it hit me that we weren't only clapping for eachother and because of the power of the thing that we had just done, but we were clapping for ourselves. I looked around the room, there were over 40 of us, and i was looking at everybody clapping, i was so happy. I am crying now just thinking about it. I don't know how to describe that moment, perhaps the best word i can find is "beautiful". It was beautiful, the most beautiful thing that i have ever seen. Also, i'm not sure if my partner during one of the exercises, John, is on this site, but if he is i want to thank him too, you are great.

Everybody who i talked to, who talked to me, or even just smiled at me from across the room, and everybody who came or helped out to make this into the success that it was, THANK YOU. It really means a hell of a lot to me. I will remember all of you, and hope to see you again, and hope to see more people come too.

There is so much i could write, and so many people i would like to mention. But i do have a tendency to write too much, so i should stop whilst i am ahead.

Lewis

_________________________
"...until lambs become lions"

I love you, little lewis, and i will never leave you. We are the same. You brighten my day, and i will make sure that i brighten yours. Hugs and kisses.


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#326314 - 03/26/10 11:16 PM Re: Conference postings [Re: king tut]
king tut Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/13/08
Posts: 2469
Loc: UK
I find myself looking at other peoples posts here and thinking "oh yeah of course i should have mentioned Robert, Ken, Dave....."

I agree with Jim "my brain is over heating just trying to remember all the names", but that's a good thing, because it is the first time in my life that i have wanted to remember so many people.

I knew the weekend would be powerful, but i didn't fully realise how powerful.

I have many email addresses, and i didn't have any business cards so i need to email you all so that i can give you my details (and to organise some things with some of you). I haven't had chance to do this just yet since i only arrived home late thursday, and i went to look after over 20 kids at cub-scouts that night (without sleeping on the plane), and today i have been at a meal with my research team and professors (and their kids). Just so you know, i am getting there!

_________________________
"...until lambs become lions"

I love you, little lewis, and i will never leave you. We are the same. You brighten my day, and i will make sure that i brighten yours. Hugs and kisses.


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#326323 - 03/27/10 12:50 AM Re: Conference postings [Re: king tut]
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16265
Guys,

I've set out to post here several times and every time I seem to get muddled up in the abyss of words so I write it off as a bad job hoping I can give it another shot later. Well, this is my next attempt. It will be what it will be, eh?

I have been on a high ever since Dale met me at Newark International on Thursday evening. The smiles and good feelings just keep bubbling up from inside. It's awesome! I hate to get into mentioning names because there were so many and I'm sure there are some I will forget but I do want to mention Lewis, Jim (geeders), Curtis St. John, Murray Schane, Ken Singer, Ron (sans logos), Trisha, Ken Followell, Dale English, Gavin (Logan), Sam Bowen (I couldn't have asked for a better roommate and the accommodations were superb!), Trucker Mark, and I'm sure there are others but like the guys posting before me, the mind fails to keep pace. Each of you touched my life in some special way and I love you for it. Your kindness, your smile, your hugs, your gentle presence when I needed it. I have never felt so accepted or cared for. Thanks from the bottom of my heart.

As Lewis stated, the sessions were of the highest quality and I wish I could have attended them all. I heard many who had been to past conferences say that this one beat them all as far as content and atmosphere. I'm thrilled that I was blessed enough to be a part of it.

Special thanks to Trisha, Ken Followell, Jorge Ramirez, and any others who worked tirelessly on this event. The impact of your dedication and hard work may never be fully known. You guys are heroes in my book. Hugs to each of you.

Thanks to all who were there,

John

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#326348 - 03/27/10 09:15 AM Re: Conference postings [Re: king tut]
Geeders Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/03/08
Posts: 1901
Loc: Peterborough, Ontario, Canada
Originally Posted By: king tut
but i still think that i can say that the conference was the greatest experience of my life so far. I have never before felt so accepted, so loved, and so safe. And certainly never felt that way by so many people.
Lewis


Well said Lewis. Well said. It was an honour for me to meet you!(Hope our American brothers don't mind the "correct" way to spell "Honour" lol!)

Your quote above, well it made me think back to my first WoR, and my second. I felt like I "fit in" for the first time in my life. We were all alike. Each with our own different stories for sure. But nevertheless, all the same. Normal! I came away from each of those experiences learning, realizing, and remembering that I AM normal, but what happened to me was not.

It seems to me Lewis, that you have returned home with a similar feeling. It looks good on you! cool

Jim

_________________________
My name is Jim
WoR Mysthaven 2008, Level 2 WoR Alta 2009, Kirkridge 2010, 2011, Oprah 200 men

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#326374 - 03/27/10 11:47 AM Re: Conference postings [Re: Geeders]
Ken Followell Offline
President
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 12/30/01
Posts: 990
Loc: Bradenton, FL
Thanks to all of you for sharing your experience at the conference. I cannot find the words to adequately express my feelings when I read all of this. My view of the conference is a little different since it is from the other side of the registration table. It was truly an honour to be able to watch and assist as you went to and from the sessions. To get the feedback and to be part of the incredible sharing that went on between the sessions.

Nothing is better for me than being in the company of fellow survivors. To be witness to the strength, hope, compassion and humor. I am always seeking ways to be with fellow survivors and share the journey my life has become. You all inspire and encourage me.

To read all the positive posts here shows the value of gathering survivors, loved ones and professionals together. We are a powerful group. Please continue to be in touch with those you met at the conference and to recognize how truly outstanding each of you are.

Love to all of you.

_________________________
Ken Followell

Everything works out right in the end. If things are not working right, it isn't the end yet. Don't let it bother you, relax and keep on goin
- Michael C. Muhammad

"I get up. I walk. I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing."
� Rabbi Hillel

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#326381 - 03/27/10 02:52 PM Re: Conference postings [Re: Ken Followell]
Deved Offline


Registered: 04/18/08
Posts: 24
Loc: British Columbia
The conference was truly amazing for me. I have never before been so extraordinarly "out" as a survivor... and I found it empowering and exciting and energizing. To all the brave men I met, too many to name... I thank you for your amazing courage.

Dave

_________________________
"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." ~Albert Einstein

"Try not to become a man of success but rather to become a man of value." ~Albert Einstein

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#326394 - 03/27/10 06:18 PM Re: Conference postings [Re: pufferfish]
needtobefreed Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 26
Loc: Maryland
Hello everyone,

The conference was outstanding. The speeches by Theo Fleury, Jorge Ramirez, and Howard Fradkin were powerful and inspirational.

I was one of the 40 or 50 men who attended Mike Lew's workshop on Thursday and I must agree with the comments from the others in attendance. It was a very powerful experience. Just being with a roomful of men who share a powerful bond is always amazing, but with Mike's direction we were able to make it even more powerful.

I also attended Joe Kort's Session and found his thoughts very insightful. He really seems to have the ability to connect the dots.

Patrick O'Leary and Nick Gould had a great presentation on some research they have done.

I felt the entire conference was outstanding, but for me the most powerful presentation was by Larry Lessig. His thoughts on who is responsible are very powerful.

This was my first conference but most definitely not my last.

_________________________
Michael
Your brother
Alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA. May 2009
Alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA. May 2010


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#326396 - 03/27/10 06:46 PM Re: Conference postings [Re: needtobefreed]
Trucker51 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/20/08
Posts: 2826
Loc: Denver, CO
Hey Mike:

I corrected my first post to include you rather than Mike58. Had a good time, thanks for playing my dad in the role-play exercise, hope that you felt that the experience was good for you too. Officially, 43 survivors attended Mike Lew's workshop, plus Mike's friend and fellow therapist Jeff Conway was there helping to co-facilitate too.

Glad to have met you Mike, hope to see you again in 2012, if not sooner!!!

Mark

_________________________
"We stay here, we die here. We've got to keep moving". Trucker Mark



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#326407 - 03/27/10 10:46 PM Re: Conference postings [Re: Ken Followell]
Geeders Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/03/08
Posts: 1901
Loc: Peterborough, Ontario, Canada
Originally Posted By: Ken Followell
Please continue to be in touch with those you met at the conference and to recognize how truly outstanding each of you are.

Love to all of you.


Ken: You'll like this...

Yesterday evening, I sent an email to an agency in Oz that was responsible for those post cards on the table to your left as you first enter the 4th floor. I'm sure you saw the cards...two guys sitting on a beach, the card saying "What if one of your mates told you he was sexually abused? Would you know how to help him? There were 3 other cards as well in the series. One was of a man disclosing to a woman, another said 1 in 6, and the other I can't quite recall. I've had a couple of their posters up in my office as well. I wrote to say thank you for making them available at the conference, and to ask when the new ones would be available online. In a matter of minutes, I had a thank you note from Oz, from Dr.Gary Foster thanking me for my feedback.

I got to thinking, opened up my wallet, and pulled out a business card from Gary Foster! Gary and I met on 29th St. Sunday evening while Robert Bérubé and I were having a smoke outside the Ace Hotel. Small world, great connections!

All because of the MS conference!

Thanks for the behind the scenes hard work for over a year to make sure this was the best conference to date.

Love to you too.

Jim

_________________________
My name is Jim
WoR Mysthaven 2008, Level 2 WoR Alta 2009, Kirkridge 2010, 2011, Oprah 200 men

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#326456 - 03/28/10 02:36 PM Re: Conference postings [Re: Geeders]
Deved Offline


Registered: 04/18/08
Posts: 24
Loc: British Columbia
For me, the two lawyers who presented on Saturday and Sunday were amazing. Wow! Gave me a whole new perspective on the legal profession... these guys, Victor Vieth and Larry Lessig, just bowled me over with their presentations. I was deeply moved by Vieth's proposal to end child abuse forever. Even if it's an impossible dream, we can dream, can't we? As a victim of every sort of child abuse, I was crying at the end of this presentation.

_________________________
"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." ~Albert Einstein

"Try not to become a man of success but rather to become a man of value." ~Albert Einstein

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#326459 - 03/28/10 03:17 PM Re: Conference postings [Re: Deved]
mrrecovery Offline


Registered: 07/22/08
Posts: 80
Well I am still processing things...overall it was a great experience though it was not all roses:

Positives:
- Most of the sessions were very educational (especially Ken Adams, Ed Erghott, and Captain William Carson)
- I had some powerful experiences in the more experiential sessions (e.g. Mike Lew, David Stewart)
- It was great to meet and talk with the authors (I felt very safe with Ken Singer)
- It was great to make new connections and to re-connect with WoR alumni and facilitators

Negatives:
- I found some of the presenters had an air of arrogance
- The presence of non-survivors, particularly females, was difficult at times. For example, i got triggered by one female's comments to me and one presenter's assistant patted me twice on the shoulder (a big no no). I think more clear-cut guidelines are needed for future conferences.

Ultimately the conference experience was good for showing me where i am at in my recovery. For example, before heading in to the Mother-Son Incest session i had two hours to spare and i started to head downtown to do some shopping. On the way i recognized that i was resorting to one of my coping mechanisms and thought "what if i am shopping and i don't make it back in time for the most important session?"....so i turned around and went back to hang out in the quiet room. Two years ago i may not have made such a connection. Heck just 6 months ago I went shooting full auto assault rifles literally two hours before arriving at the Level 2 WoR...as I wrote in my review, Paul told me that it was "natural for me to do something empowering before going in to a place where i will feel vulnerable"...this time i wanted the power to come from within.

_________________________
WoR Alumni - Mysthaven Nov 7-9, 2008; Advanced WoR - Alta Sept 11-13, 2009, Mike Lew Victims No Longer Workshop 2010, Malesurvivor International Conference 2010

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#327440 - 04/05/10 09:34 AM Re: Conference postings [Re: Ken Singer, LCSW]
Sans Logos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5791
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
i wrote about my experience with steve gold's session on 'ascending to the realm of hope and belief' . he specializes in treatment of and training in psychological trauma and trauma-related disorders, dissociation, hypnosis, and sexual addiction-compulsivity.

warm regards,

ron



_________________________
  1. the past
  2. ReClaiming Now
  3. advocacy


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