I had just made a few friends and got over my initial homesickness. Nights were still a bit scary and it was hard to fall asleep. Our counselor was nice, he seem to really take interest in us and even listened to our problems. When he found I was not sleeping well, he gave me a pill he said would help me sleep. At 11, I was a trusting person (still am) and I took it without question. I got into bed and within minutes I was asleep. The next thing I remember was feeling something next to me. I didnít know what it was and was too tired to open my eyes. The feeling got stronger and I realized someone was in my bed with me. I jumped up and soon felt a smoky smelling hand cover my mouth. I felt a strange sensation between my legs and wondered why his head was there. I tried to move but I couldnít and the sensation grew. I was afraid. More afraid then I ever remember being because I had no idea what was being done to me. A few minutes later he stopped, kissed me on the cheek and left. I just laid there wondering why he did that. I was so scared that I just tried to forget. The next night, I refused to take the pill and lay awake in bed. Every noise created a startle and I prayed he didnít come back, but he did. Every night for about two weeks I received my nightly visit and every night I trembled. I didnít know why he did this, part felt good, but why? I wouldnít tell, I couldnít tell.
Years went by and sleep was never the same. Drugs and Drinking helped me to sleep and I used them nightly. At 25 I entered the rooms of AA as an alcoholic and drug addict. With sobriety came awareness and the surfacing of emotions hid long ago by my addictions. My story came out for the first time and my sponsor helped me to find a therapist. I told my parents then and they put their guilt aside and helped me work through my recovery.
I have learned that by helping others I help myself. My goal is simple. To eliminate Child Abuse from this world by encouraging survivors to speak their story and get help. To prevent future abuse as a result of that help and to get kids out of abusive situations now and bring their perpetrators to justice. Any one who thinks about hurting a child should fear that silence will be broken and the lies will end.
Send a link to our web site to anyone you know who knows a child or adult who might have suffered or might be still suffering. breaktheabusecycle.com
Silence hurts. Together we can heal.