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#326927 - 04/01/10 08:08 AM Re: nightmares [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 1927
Loc: durham, north england
Well, last night was really quite horrible in terms of nightmares. starting with losing my bag in a gymnasium, to some sort of fight I was in, Everything from me participating in crude s/xual humour, which turned into some pretty horrible and explicite stuff, to watching dr. who being tortured an burned, --- why dr. who? well i'm not sure, maybe because I've been a fan sinse the age of 12 and was watching a couple of episodes last night?

Eitherway, I really! don't feel great today about it, particularly the s/xual stuff.

Any more advice would be appreciated.

I'll try my rowing machine later today, only because i'm not sure how much my body will take, I keep messing things up and overdoing it then hurting my leg and arm muscles which isn't good.


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#326938 - 04/01/10 09:04 AM Re: nightmares [Re: dark empathy]
Walt Offline


Registered: 03/09/10
Posts: 15
Loc: Western Massachusetts
Take a deep breath in honor of yourself.

I have a difficult time waking every morning. Sometimes my nightmares return, not as intense as they used to be, but I wake up depressed every day. Someday, perhaps, I will jump out of bed with wonder in my thoughts again, as I did as a pre-abusee, but the dreams kill my waking happiness.

I don't exercise, though more than one person has told me that it will help to improve my mood. Take the rowing machine gently. If you were actually in a boat rowing, your activity would be very different from that of the machine. For one, you would be using your other senses, vision, hearing, touch much more intensely. I look forward to getting out in my row boat again.

For me the best exercise is when I am in nature, doing things that don't involve complicated machines, but use my body with tools or on hikes that have some purpose.

- Walt


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#326943 - 04/01/10 09:45 AM Re: nightmares [Re: Walt]
kidneythis Offline


Registered: 11/08/09
Posts: 1558
Dark Empathy,
I can tell you this about exercise. the most effective way to build muscle w/o a lot of pain is to take it easy. I use a heart rate monitor so I can see it and try to keep it between 120 and 140 I try to stay below 130. I got mine about 14 years ago when I was working a lot.
You should not be breathing heavily as you do it and you should make certain you are using exactly proper form. If you aren't slow down and do it as slowly as is necessary to use proper form. That is straight back, shoulders pulled together leaning forward from the hips not arching the back etc you get the pic.
Good form done slowly will do more for you than bad form done quickly and with more effort.

_________________________
As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

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#326954 - 04/01/10 01:01 PM Re: nightmares [Re: kidneythis]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 1927
Loc: durham, north england
Well, up until my downstairs neighbors started being stupid I used to do my weights then run on a small trampette, which workedvery well, sinse i could just time myself, starting at five minutes and working up to 7.5, then 10, then 12.5, then 15, ---- though after that point it got a litle difficult sinse I found more than 15minutes running I'd get completely board and want to do something else.

That's another part of the rowing machine logic, that when i get to the board stage I can increase difficulty not time.

The problem is I just don't know how much my body can take and constantly over do it. i say "right, I'll do 300 strokes" (I prefer to count myself than use a stop watch, I used to do the same thing runing), then find it too easy. Funnily enough it's not speed of strokes that is my problem (I've never been a fast person), it's just amount and power behind them.

Well, I'll start off now with another try.


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#327408 - 04/04/10 11:34 PM Re: nightmares [Re: dark empathy]
DaveyD Offline


Registered: 03/29/10
Posts: 15
Loc: California
I have this horrible nightmare in which I am driving with my daughter and we are going to see the new wonderful place we are moving into. I'm telling her how cool it is and what a beautiful place it is, front yard/back yard, etc etc. The dream is all colorful and upbeat, then when I pull up it is the housing projects I grew up in and where all the abuse was. I always awake at that point in a sweat. I think it has something to do with me wanting to protect her from everything that I experianced and feeling that I will fail. The dream sometimes wakes me up crying. I have not been in therapy for about 10 years, but recently decided that it is time to go ask for some additional help. So ya, that is what is up with my dreams. They can be very challenging.

_________________________
Stay alive, don't drink, don't kill, don't die and you win!

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#327415 - 04/05/10 12:28 AM Re: nightmares [Re: DaveyD]
Survivinguy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/22/09
Posts: 310
Loc: Colorado
Lungfish - Well we are a good two weeks from your original post but I just now saw this thread. I hope your breakthrough in the dreams has helped - maybe if you can keep conscious of your connection to the boy you are trying to save they will become dreams of victory at some point.

I've had nightmares for nearly 35 years - not every night of course but a lot of them - sometimes horror movies types, sometimes about the abuse and my abusers (odd ones like my primary abuser just walking up and saying hi as if he's still alive and nothing ever happened - i wake up pissed off from those).

If your nightmares continue - some suggestions - you leave a light on in your room if possible so when you wake up it's not as traumtic to come back to the present. You might also fill a glass with ice cubes so you have some really cold water to drink right as you wake up to help you ground. If you journal it might help to write down what you remember so you can focus on conquering the dreams if you remain cognizant during your dreams.

And on sleep apnea - been there! I had three surgeries related to obstructive sleep apnea at about age 36 and I'm not overweight. It's not limited to the elderly or the heavy set folks. I had surgery for a deviated septum, I had a tonsilectomy and a surgery called the UPPP (Uvulopalatopharyngoplasty - where they surgically tighten the skin in your mouth and throat). I don't snore anymore, my blood/oxygen is "normal" and I don't stop breathing while sleeping as often anymore.

Just some thoughts

_________________________
Survivinguy

============================================
I have to survive and I hope to thrive.

Alumni Dahlonega WoR May 2010
Alumni Sequoia WoR March 2012

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#327429 - 04/05/10 07:36 AM Re: nightmares [Re: Survivinguy]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 1927
Loc: durham, north england
Well the exercise plan has gone down the tubes, sinse yesterday I dropped off to sleep on my settee and woke up with amazing amounts of pain in my back to the point where standing up is pretty painful.

yes, I'm 27 and complaining of my poor old back!

it's gone down a bit sinse yesterday but is stil there, but I don't need to be a medical expert to say that using a rowing machine right now would be a bad idea.


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#327585 - 04/06/10 10:57 PM Re: nightmares [Re: dark empathy]
lungfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/26/08
Posts: 64
Loc: nowhere special nj
hey surviving guy thanks for the post. Yup, that was I real insight and while typing a post no less. Those are good suggestions. I am going to check for sleep apnea, I wake up frequently during the night. I always assumed I was a light sleeper due to being scared from being attacked in my sleep. I have to sleep face down to protect my crotch. I am hoping to get over that one day because it gives me back pain sometimes. Which leads me to my next point.
Dark empathy or anyone else who might have reoccuring back pain or other types of pain, check out books by John Sarno. I believe that is the authors name. Both my brother and I had bad backs and they really helped tremendously. Basically he says that a lot of pain is due to anger from childhood. That is way oversimplifying but I think many of us can relate. Hope you feel better.

_________________________
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." Ralph Waldo Emerson

Personally I'm always ready to learn, although I do not always like to be taught. -Sir Winston Churchill

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#327593 - 04/06/10 11:32 PM Re: nightmares [Re: lungfish]
alan55 Offline


Registered: 08/19/09
Posts: 202
Loc: Seattle, WA
I have nightmares,too. I'm tied and he's walking around me saying what a loser I am. I'm crying and hot tears are streaming down as I say I'm not a loser....I'm trying to run away and as usual in dreams you can't run fast enough...and he's in front of me everywhere I turn - I get frantic and try harder to run and I can hear a quiet evil laugh. There are others - but I usually wake up in a fright. From what my T has said for me to try is this : When those occur and you awaken, say to yourself Where am I? How old am I? What year is it? It has helped me when my "little boy" is frightened and my "adult" needs to step in and soothe him. It gets me grounded sometimes. Another thing that helps me (and others who have a Significant Other)is to hear my wife of 30 years sleeping soundly next to me. Calm, slow and safe.
I know back pain is miserable. Had it before,too. Not to your extreme,howver. I hope you find a good remedy soon.


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#327794 - 04/09/10 12:14 AM Re: nightmares [Re: alan55]
jls Offline


Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 1142
mine usually involve alot of graphic violence, sometimes of a sexual nature, which can be really sordid. Another recurring one is seeing myself in the room I am sleeping in but am unable to wake up while some sort of manevolent force is whipping wind around my head and taunting me. The force I'm talking about is like God only the opposite, not the devil per se, but something evil nonetheless. The scariest part about these dreams is when I'm screaming to wake up but can't, all the while aware that I'm watching myself sleeping in the room. JS

_________________________
Love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world.


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