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#325650 - 03/18/10 10:29 PM I may of found my preditor on face book
OKIE MIKE Offline
Member

Registered: 02/13/04
Posts: 979
Loc: HULBERT OK
I have been looking for my preditor for several years. I think that I may of found him .
The emotions that I an feeling is hard to explain . I located a curreny Photo . and he is a harmeless looking old man . Part of me is verry angry. And part of me confused.
I feel like a dog that has ben chaseing a cat. Now that I have coughht him I do not know hvat to do.
I still plan to file a case in civil court. For The lifetime of of ptsd.

_________________________
MICHAEL

"I HAD NO SHOES THEN I SAW A MAN THAT HAD NO FEET"

"All I can do is be me, whoever that is"

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#325657 - 03/18/10 11:34 PM Re: I may of found my preditor on face book [Re: OKIE MIKE]
just me Offline


Registered: 05/27/09
Posts: 193
"Book 'em Dana"

_________________________
My Story

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#325665 - 03/19/10 02:18 AM Re: I may of found my preditor on face book [Re: OKIE MIKE]
Charlie24 Offline


Registered: 09/28/08
Posts: 562
Hey OKIE MIKE

I found my perp through searching on Facebook. Don't know what drew me to the site. I'm no longer a member of that community, had people trying to contact to me from my past.

I hated and still hate my abuser. I had to finish out high school with him, so fucking miserable. When I found his page I just really nauseous and tight stomach, just felt unwell.

Part of me wants to track this fucker down and just confront him and just go off on him.

Yes I'm feeling anger in my life. We gotta feel anger.

I guess part of me wants justice from all this shit. I feel like everyone should get a fair serving. I don't know how to let go of this anger.

Just hate what this guy did to me.

Charlie.


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#325667 - 03/19/10 02:49 AM Re: I may of found my preditor on face book [Re: Charlie24]
OKIE MIKE Offline
Member

Registered: 02/13/04
Posts: 979
Loc: HULBERT OK
Charlie, I wish that I knew how to avoid the desire to Kill this man fo what he did. He destroyed any possability of ever not hateing him . I ahve had over 30 years to Cool off I am still preaty Pissed off .
But If I stand a chance in hell of getting him into court . I have to at least act civil in Court. If that day ever comes

_________________________
MICHAEL

"I HAD NO SHOES THEN I SAW A MAN THAT HAD NO FEET"

"All I can do is be me, whoever that is"

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#325676 - 03/19/10 07:56 AM Re: I may of found my preditor on face book [Re: OKIE MIKE]
catfish86 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/27/09
Posts: 820
Loc: Ohio
Mike,

I am with you on this one. I guess I can say that I am lucky that I know who my perps are and both are dead. My pastor and I discussed forgiveness for my uncle. I told him I wouldn't lie to him, if he were alive today I would kill him.

However, I have the out of him being dead. In your case I would suggest giving the legal system a chance to do its job. Do your research on the laws in the state. In addition, if I remember your earlier posts, weren't you both in the military? If so, the Uniform Code of Military Justice (UCMJ) also applies. I might also suggest looking up the court dockets in the area in which he lives and see what kind of record he has. There are two avenues of justice, criminal (jail) and civil (you sue him for damages ie money).

If the statutes of limitations have run or the appropriate authorities are not willing to pursue it, I might suggest shaming. Post to his facebook page what he did. Find out where he works and send a letter or email to his boss. Contact his family and neighbors. While there are libel/slander laws, it is important to note the 1st Amendment to the Constitution. Because of that, the truth is an absolute defense. If what you are saying is true, he has to sue you AND he MUST PROVE what you are saying is false AND that you know it is.

The potential consequences are that he may identify and come after you. Personally, I might like the thought of that. Anyway, just some thoughts.

Of course, you have to take into consideration with any of this what good it would do for you. Remember that getting yourself put in jail only allows him to continue further harm to you.



Edited by catfish86 (03/19/10 07:57 AM)
_________________________
God grant me
The Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The Courage to change the things I can,
And the Wisdom to know the difference.

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#325682 - 03/19/10 11:15 AM Re: I may of found my preditor on face book [Re: catfish86]
kidneythis Offline


Registered: 11/08/09
Posts: 1558
Mike,
I'm guessing you are posting this as a way to vent that anger and avoid self harm by doing something to him. Catfish has a good idea for you to follow up on. I would like to add that you save up and pay a lawyer for a few hours to listen to your case and help you to see what it is that you will need to have to bring him to Civil Court or even criminal court.
There is an outside chance this guy will just fess up when confronted. The amount of fight in him will likely be related to what he has to protect and if he is still abusing people.

I very much recomend you find someone to confide in and help you process away as much anger as possible as anger does not promote clear thinking and I'd hate to see this guy get away from you after so much work trying to get justice.
I know from experience I was wound up and angry so I got manipulated into one blind path after another until the statute of limitations for filing after recall was run out before I realized the people who I was dealing with were playing me.
Be careful chacking out atty's. Get a collegiate dictionary. Have your questions written down and if you can't answer them for yourself after the interview then he/she wasn't being entirely open with you. Remembering technical terms doesn't count so you should write them down and look them up on google. Generally if the google link is from an Ivy League school its safe to believe it. Boalt Hall UC Berkeley, and Hastings are two famous law schools.
Lawyers make their money by being obtuse and getting people to see things a certain way, whatever that way is for the case. So be careful don't show all your cards at once and make sure you understand what you need to.

KT

_________________________
As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

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#325803 - 03/21/10 04:17 AM Re: I may of found my preditor on face book [Re: kidneythis]
Trucker51 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/20/08
Posts: 2826
Loc: Denver, CO
I found one of my abusers on Facebook back in January, then I wrote-out a confrontation letter, which I posted on the member-side survivor forum looking for comments. Everyone who responded there said that my letter was a really strong letter, so I copied and pasted it right into a Facebook private message and sent it to him. He was a Vietnam-era combat Marine who I had been frightened of for a long time. And while he did not respond, he did pull his Facebook page. Yes, now I know where he lives, what he does for work, where his wife works, I know that his only son is doing time in the joint in Michigan for felony crime, and I know that he is hanging around a religious private high school in northwestern Lower Michigan and has some involvement with the student body there as an alumni member.

Do you think that I should send my letter to the school's administration, maybe send it to his wife at her job? If you honestly think that this is the guy, why don't you do what I did, write-up a confrontation letter, and run it by us here on the discussion board, then you could send it to him on Facebook. Sending my letter recently was a very freeing event for me, hope that you can enjoy that feeling here soon too Mike.

Mark

_________________________
"We stay here, we die here. We've got to keep moving". Trucker Mark



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#325821 - 03/21/10 02:48 PM Re: I may of found my preditor on face book [Re: Trucker51]
OKIE MIKE Offline
Member

Registered: 02/13/04
Posts: 979
Loc: HULBERT OK
Trucker 51 I would do any thing that I could. With in the law. To expose him for his for his crimes.

The short letter that I have drafted :

I am looking for SFC E.H*******z. A fellow soldger that I seved at Fort Hood TX in 1977/78 .

We were both assigned to the 553rd S&S Battalion

Thank You

MICHAEL WOLF

_________________________
MICHAEL

"I HAD NO SHOES THEN I SAW A MAN THAT HAD NO FEET"

"All I can do is be me, whoever that is"

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#325823 - 03/21/10 03:09 PM Re: I may of found my preditor on face book [Re: OKIE MIKE]
ericc Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/04/08
Posts: 1960
Mike,

A couple things. You might want to write is a little longer, maybe expressing that your are trying to connect with some past service mates from that time period and are putting a list together of people who served at Ft. Hood back then. Related to that, if he knows who you are and remembers your name as who he did what he did to, then you might want to get a third party to send the letter. If you can somehow get confirmation that this guys is the one, then you can take it from there.

Eric


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#325970 - 03/23/10 02:57 AM Re: I may of found my preditor on face book [Re: ericc]
Trucker51 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/20/08
Posts: 2826
Loc: Denver, CO
Mike:

Since you didn't give anything away other than your name, rank, and the place that you served together, this letter might get whoever you have found to open-up a little and trust you, even though he might not remember you by name this many years later. It might be a vehicle to attain the goal of exposing your perp, if he takes the bait. I would say that it is worth a try.

By the way, "Soldger" is spelled Soldier. "A former soldier that I served (with) at Ft. Hood, TX in 1977/78".

Let us know what happens.

Mark

_________________________
"We stay here, we die here. We've got to keep moving". Trucker Mark



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#326005 - 03/23/10 04:22 PM Re: I may of found my preditor on face book [Re: Trucker51]
kidneythis Offline


Registered: 11/08/09
Posts: 1558
What happens if it is him?

I mention this again because the likelyhood that you react badly and do something that ends up harming you is greater if you don't have a coherent plan that you've had at least one other person check out and approve.
I'd recomend a therapist or better yet a psychiatrist.

Get a lawyer to help you plan out what needs to be done or you may be throwing away that chance for a momentary emotional burst.

Some links with info and atty's;
http://www.ncsconline.org/wc/CourTopics/StateLinks.asp?id=53&topic=ProBon#Oklahoma

http://www.txinjurylawfirm.com/PracticeAreas/Sexual-Assault-Abuse.asp

http://www.veteranstoday.com/2009/01/29/...amp-prevention/

http://militarytriallawyer.com/tag/sexual-misconduct/

http://www.kdhnews.com/news/story.aspx?s=31750

Good Luck

_________________________
As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

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#326161 - 03/25/10 10:01 AM Re: I may of found my preditor on face book [Re: kidneythis]
pietie Offline
Guest

Registered: 01/23/07
Posts: 326
Loc: South Africa
Me too have found one of the perps on Facebook. When I saw his picture I was rattled for a whole weekend. I decided to not contact him only based on the fact that I have gone a long way in recovery, especially when dealing with the anger. So I decided not to contact him or let him know I am on Facebook. Perhaps i am a little bit scared to expose myself as well. The less this guy knows about me the better. But that is just me, I never had any intention of pursuing him criminally.

just my 2 cents

_________________________
Not Perfect, just forgiven

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#326228 - 03/25/10 11:24 PM Re: I may of found my preditor on face book [Re: pietie]
OKIE MIKE Offline
Member

Registered: 02/13/04
Posts: 979
Loc: HULBERT OK
I want to "Have all of my ducks in a row" . So that when I do go after this SOB that. He will have no case in court to deny what He did to me and the damage. Tat I have had to live with for the last 30+ years.
Because I am no longerafraid of this SOB . I am not going to give him a chance ti get away from me again . I want to have the courts to Make Him Pay for what he did . In such a way that he neaver forgets me . Or what he did .

_________________________
MICHAEL

"I HAD NO SHOES THEN I SAW A MAN THAT HAD NO FEET"

"All I can do is be me, whoever that is"

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#326267 - 03/26/10 11:58 AM Re: I may of found my preditor on face book [Re: OKIE MIKE]
MrDon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/08/01
Posts: 957
Loc: Deltona, FL
I just ran into one of my abusers as well. It was his daughter. Found out she is in a bible college close to me which is too close for comfort. When I saw the initial picture of him, I about vomited the entire night. At least now, I can keep tabs on him and have some idea where he is or what he is doing. That helps me a little. But ugh, the picture... I still can't stand it!

_________________________
In order to journey to new worlds, we must first be willing to lose site of the shore.

The Mind Body Thoughts Blog
http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/

Check out my relaxing piano music from the heart!
http://www.donshetterly.com

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#326272 - 03/26/10 12:31 PM Re: I may of found my preditor on face book [Re: MrDon]
OKIE MIKE Offline
Member

Registered: 02/13/04
Posts: 979
Loc: HULBERT OK
I know it sounds corney. but get a photo and mount it on a dartboard

_________________________
MICHAEL

"I HAD NO SHOES THEN I SAW A MAN THAT HAD NO FEET"

"All I can do is be me, whoever that is"

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#326790 - 03/31/10 01:22 AM Re: I may of found my preditor on face book [Re: OKIE MIKE]
DaveyD Offline


Registered: 03/29/10
Posts: 15
Loc: California
Hello there,

There are unknown abusers from when I was very little, the ones I do know about are both dead. One died within the last month, she was my aunt. The other I encountered at 13, I was grabbed by a pedophile in San Francisco who drugged and did terrible things to me and a friend at the time. I got away after a year, my friend didnít. The pedophile passed him onto another sick man who continued to abuse him for years. I did what I had to do to stay drunk and survive. Once I turned 17 I decided to go kill the abuser, I tracked him down but when I got to where he was I discovered he had died of HIV a month earlier. It was devine intervention, I would have murdered that man I have no doubt at all. I am glad that I didn't find him alive. That was a pivotal place in my life, so I am not making any suggestions other than to be sure of the reasons you want to open that can of worms and have support in whatever you decide to do. I had no support and was running on self will. In any case, please keep us posted on what you do, it helps us all as some will not be able to confront their abusers. Thinking of you.

_________________________
Stay alive, don't drink, don't kill, don't die and you win!

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#326807 - 03/31/10 03:58 AM Re: I may of found my preditor on face book [Re: DaveyD]
OKIE MIKE Offline
Member

Registered: 02/13/04
Posts: 979
Loc: HULBERT OK
I have a relitive that works for the District Atorney's office . I plan on discusing th case with them. To see what options that I have. Then I will go from there .
If someone can bring charges aginst a Priest after several years . I believe that I can find a way to get this SOB into court

_________________________
MICHAEL

"I HAD NO SHOES THEN I SAW A MAN THAT HAD NO FEET"

"All I can do is be me, whoever that is"

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#326851 - 03/31/10 04:54 PM Re: I may of found my preditor on face book [Re: OKIE MIKE]
kidneythis Offline


Registered: 11/08/09
Posts: 1558
I admire you Mike. Thats a lot of good work you've done and are doing in this.

_________________________
As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

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#327412 - 04/04/10 11:48 PM Re: I may of found my preditor on face book [Re: kidneythis]
DaveyD Offline


Registered: 03/29/10
Posts: 15
Loc: California
Mike, thank you for all of what you are doing for us that can't do it.

_________________________
Stay alive, don't drink, don't kill, don't die and you win!

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