I have heard many say that any MB is breaking sobriety for a sex addict. I had heard a few say that MB without fantasizing is ok.

I think that you hit upon an important question. Basically "am I a sex addict?" Ken Singer had posted somewhere an online "test" to determine. Here is the link: http://www.sexhelp.com/addiction_tests.cfm

Jim

Hi, my fraternal brothers.

I just took that SAST test and got a 9.

I am not supprised, as i am a compulsive masturbator, and have been for 60 years.

I have done it while i was married for (36)years.

I usually fantasise about it. Mostly with my perp, as he loved me & i loved him.
On the ISST test 15.

Betrail Bond 17.
I'm still a screwed up sexualy abused boy/man.

Heal well my fraternal brothers, heal well.

Little Pete & big Pete..but 1 (Irishmoose).

Hey JustScott,

Sorry there aren't good support meetings where you live: there are teleconference meetings you can phone into just about everyday for SAA: http://saa-recovery.org/Meetings/ElectronicMeetings/

Reading lots of books helped me, so did journaling and laying out my life history of compulsive sex, fear of intimacy, shame, etc.

As I laid this all out in the open and committed to abstaining for a period of several weeks, some remarkable things happened. My higher power guided me towards a new-found healthy, affirming sexuality for the first time in my life. The old compulsions, obsessions, etc, became dislodged as I focused on my desire to change/willingness.

In short, my body woke up to an authentic sexuality free from embarassment or shame. Meeting with others who struggle was vital to this process-it smashed home the idea that I was not alone, that I was not broken permanently, and that other men were on this journey too.

Good luck, keep in touch.

There are some drugs that will reduce your libido, certain anti-depressants will have that effect, certain blood pressure medications too. Maybe try to find some other more positive way to deal with your stress, maybe work-out? Depending on your age a certain level of sex drive is normal, if you aren't getting what you need from your wife, I could see an occasional habit. Perhaps look into anti-porn software, maybe a chastity belt too? Maybe insist on showering with your wife, which will cut way down on being alone in the shower. Sort of like cigarettes, you try to cut-out this cigarette or that cigarette. In order to quit cocaine I had to completely remove myself from the opportunity to have the product in my face, and I had to isolate myself from anyone that wasn't supportive of my goal to quit, then I had to develop enough self-esteem and self-confidence to be able to stand-up for myself when the opportunity eventually presented itself again.

Perhaps some kind of libido reducer drug might help you with scaling back your human needs.

Mark

This sounds alot like me. PTSD has crippled me to the point where I can't find these things, so I drink.

Anonymous,

Just an update, but I have not drank since the beginning of February (well, not totally true in that I had two beers at a work dinner a few weeks ago; I think I wanted to fit in with the other people - but that has been it.) It is St. Patrick's Day (one of my favorite holidays - go figure) and I'm at home and content.

Anyway, just sharing that with you. I feel better. There is still the emptiness and void, but I feel better not constantly fighting the struggle that drinking put me through. If you can give yourself a break from drinking you might find dealing with the other stuff easier. It is worth a try. Drinking like I drank really took a physical and mental toll on me.

Eric