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#324547 - 03/09/10 01:38 PM Science Daily: Disclosing Sexual Abuse is Critical
Ever-fixed Mark Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/02/10
Posts: 725
Loc: United States
Disclosing Sexual Abuse Is Critical

ScienceDaily (Jan. 22, 2010) — Half of sexual abuse survivors wait up to five years before disclosing they were victimized, according to a collaborative study from the Université de Montréal, the Université du Québec à Montréal and the Université de Sherbrooke published in The Canadian Journal of Psychiatry.

"The number of victims who never reveal their secret or who wait many years to do so is very high," says co-author Mireille Cyr, a psychology professor of the Université de Montréal. "This is regrettable because the longer they wait to reveal the abuse, the harder and more enduring the consequences will be."

-efm

_________________________

Everybody here's got a story to tell
Everybody's been through their own hell
There's nothing too special about getting hurt
Getting over it, that takes the work

- "Duck and Cover" by Glen Phillips

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#324589 - 03/09/10 10:20 PM Re: Science Daily: Disclosing Sexual Abuse is Critical [Re: Ever-fixed Mark]
onlyakid Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/31/04
Posts: 1552
Loc: New Jersey
Well if half of SA survivors wait up to five years then the other half must wait up to 30 years or more, cuz 5 years I think is a low number. I know it took me like 12-13 years and some people on this board it took them 40 years

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"and i don't want the world to see me, cause i don't think that they'd understand"

"You don't know what love is...you just do as your told"

"My life has changed. What you take as a simple thing, is not so simple for me anymore"


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#324595 - 03/09/10 10:41 PM Re: Science Daily: Disclosing Sexual Abuse is Critical [Re: onlyakid]
catfish86 Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/27/09
Posts: 820
Loc: Ohio
It took me 34 years to admit it to myself, let alone anyone else. It is also very important for others to be observant and reactive to signs of abuse. Often the victim is literally incapable of speaking out about it.

_________________________
God grant me
The Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The Courage to change the things I can,
And the Wisdom to know the difference.

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#324624 - 03/10/10 01:18 AM Re: Science Daily: Disclosing Sexual Abuse is Critical [Re: catfish86]
pufferfish Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6811
Loc: USA
For me it took about 32-34 years. However I did have counselling as a 15-16 year old, but the counsellor didn't ask about abuse. If she had asked about abuse I might have denied it.

One afternoon I went with my mother while she had a conference with my T. I was not invited. However, I snuck up to the door unseen and unheard. I heard the counselor ask my mother: "Why don't you love your son?" I heard her answer weakly: "I do". It wasn't very convincing.

"I only got indirect hints later that they (the T and the team she was with) must have called my parents in for conferences. The hints were in the form of changes in their behavior. They started trying to do nice things for me. Once they gave me the credit card and told me to buy anything I wanted!! I only bought one shirt (was I dumb? wink ). They asked what was my favorite food and took me out for thick milk shakes, etc.

The first book on child abuse (Kempe et al.) to appear in the United States came out a few years after my teen counselling in Denver. I have wondered if there was a connection.

Allen

pufferfish





Edited by pufferfish (03/11/10 01:39 PM)
Edit Reason: added the mother I do part

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#324662 - 03/10/10 01:21 PM Re: Science Daily: Disclosing Sexual Abuse is Critical [Re: Ever-fixed Mark]
kidneythis Offline


Registered: 11/08/09
Posts: 1558

First I'm an over 40 years guy. I did have some therapy as a child but I couldn't tell because of the abuse of my mind I had no words to describe what it was.
Great efforts to keep me away from Speech Language Pathologists were made by my abusers. I have a memory now of asking over and over what that name was because I had a couple appointments with a good one and I started to get better and it was stopped. I think I intended to ask my mom to get me one when I got home.

_________________________
As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

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#324665 - 03/10/10 01:40 PM Re: Science Daily: Disclosing Sexual Abuse is Critical [Re: kidneythis]
Ever-fixed Mark Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/02/10
Posts: 725
Loc: United States
I was sexually abused at 12, reality of what happened to me sank in at 28, still recovering at 46. I'm glad that this kind of research and analysis is finally happening. and as it is published I'll try to post it here.

We must end the silence.

-efm

_________________________

Everybody here's got a story to tell
Everybody's been through their own hell
There's nothing too special about getting hurt
Getting over it, that takes the work

- "Duck and Cover" by Glen Phillips

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#325187 - 03/14/10 02:12 PM Re: Science Daily: Disclosing Sexual Abuse is Critical [Re: Ever-fixed Mark]
WalkingSouth Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16264
I had no clue that what happened to me at age 6 was sexual abuse. It was pretty much hidden from memory till age 46, so over 40 years went by before I began looking for help. I long for the day when society recognizes completely that it is our duty to recognize and support our children in disclosure. Further I long for the day when sexual abuse is considered to be so heinous a crime that it vanishes from society completely.

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#325207 - 03/14/10 07:37 PM Re: Science Daily: Disclosing Sexual Abuse is Critical [Re: WalkingSouth]
Geeders Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/03/08
Posts: 1901
Loc: Peterborough, Ontario, Canada
38 years for me.

Thanks for this EFM! I've forwarded the links to my office already!

More of this study...

http://publications.cpa-apc.org/media.php?mid=840

Jim

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My name is Jim
WoR Mysthaven 2008, Level 2 WoR Alta 2009, Kirkridge 2010, 2011, Oprah 200 men

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