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Good morning Freedom,

I’ve pondered your thoughts spoken here. Though I am not a following of Christ or any God for that matter, and some would even accuse me of living in this reflective light, but that does not blind me to the beauty and meanings of your words. Earlybird

Roger!!!

this is huge. in reading you helped me see deeper into my own struggles. I have always believed i live in the direct light. I hadnt thought about the reflected light theory ...it makes sense to me, in fact probably describes me more than i care to admit. Maybe, just maybe i am mad at God, and maybe because i live in reflected light , i wont admit to myself ( because a good christian would never dare to blame God for his troubles...)that i am mad at him.

I made God my Father right after the abuse, i had no need for anyone, but strangely needed a Father...I do remember loving the lord so much that i was excited to go to church and be with him there....he was in my heart all along...i had him with me and he was a solid relationship that i didnt have to fear.

Perhaps, i am living in relfeclected light and thats whats keeping me from feeling or letting myself get close again...I do trust the Lord...maybe the comittment it too much for me to deal with at this time...i have to realese the hurt and not feel like God allowed bad things to happen to one of his faithful servents...

Wonderful thoughts, thanks for opening me up towards this topic.
take care,
patrick

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Hello Freedom 49,

I was wondering about something you said in your last post. (side note been thinking all morning about your reflective light concept.) Anyway you said:

I suspect that is something I need to be working on. That involves trust. Not in others, but in God himself.

Were you saying that you don’t need to work on trusting other people because you already do or because this is something that one should not do? Sorry for the confusion I just didn’t understand what you meant and I would like to. Earlybird

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Thank you for the thoughtful reply. I understand. Earlybird

Roger,

What a great post! Reflected light..Hmm.

Only Jesus is "the true light that gives light to every man". We can only choose to be a reflection of that.

I can so relate to the walls that we build up. I know that we learn to wear a lot of masks, too. It's easy to get hurt, and we've already been there and don't want to go around that bend again if possible. So, trust can be an issue. It's hard to share our issue with just anyone because no one can understand unless they have been there. I've even seen it where we can hurt each other. However, it is easier to trust others on here because we know how we feel.

Meanwhile, God is always there and He loves us and understands us unconditionally. Hopefully, we can reflect that light.

To the others who responded, I love your kindness and compassion.

God bless,
John

P.S. Roger, tears can be a good things. Thanks for sharing that, too.