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#324287 - 03/06/10 11:29 PM Re: Dissociation? [Re: 1islandboy]
jtafoya11 Offline


Registered: 06/21/09
Posts: 24
Loc: new mexico
my ttherapist says that i needed to learn no to dissocate but try to distract myself and that would cut down on me dissocating

_________________________
Randy Tafoya

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#459904 - 02/01/14 07:58 AM Re: Dissociation? [Re: potchoman]
96789594 Offline


Registered: 01/21/14
Posts: 21
i can relate to that.. dissociation for me takes the form of daydreaming and it seems to happen constantly all the time , when i was a child i do it to escape unpleasant situation it was really cool experience and undercontrole , but now it's frequent ,painfull. my therapist and i have come to conclude that i do it as a response to a trigger most often a thought that is somehow related to my trauma .it seems that i do to distance my self from the unacceptable ,but it's a horrific and disturbing reminder it doesnt make much sense still cus when i'm experiencing those moments of dissociation i dont feel like there any connection to the memory of abuse it self ... for instance during my abuse i was thinking "he's (my abuser) doing this to me because he never saw me picking a fight with anyone wich makes me weak and not a real man "as a result of this thought wich became a trigger i found my self day dreaming several times of being in an actual fight and ofc kicking guye's ass and being very strong and powerfull and others are impressed by it ... i dont know if other survivors have similar experience as i do..

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#459907 - 02/01/14 08:30 AM Re: Dissociation? [Re: 1islandboy]
newground Offline
Chatroom Moderator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 10/11/11
Posts: 811
Loc: michigan
hey island
dissociation for me has always been much as you describe a good thing an escape. when it happens not it is much more like being drawn into the void and I have to fight to remain present. not long ago I had a really emotional day at T and then went to my survivors group and when I left I did as you describe. no ticket,no destination just gone and I WAS DRIVING! went 45 minutes or so in a random direction and when I got back I had NO IDEA where I was very freaky. so yea man you are not alone. it is a hard thing to control basically now I keep a gps in the car and set it so as it "speaks" it keeps me present. I think those things are the best we can do man.
hope it gets better
Jeff
_________________________
Either I will find a way, or I will make one.
Philip Sidney

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#459910 - 02/01/14 08:48 AM Re: Dissociation? [Re: 1islandboy]
KMCINVA Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 1782
For me dissociation was total loss of self, time and place. The triggers were intense and reminiscent of the abuse. I would have flashbacks and the emotions of the abuse took over. I left and found myself in places not knowing how I got there or where I was traveling to. I would come back, scared and thought I was loosing it. I must have become a different person. My T and doctors say the child looking for love and the abuser. Why, the triggers were horrific and trapping to a fragile mind trying to bury the abuse. But I had episodes my entire life but only in the past nine years did they become frequent and overwhelming, including hospitalizations.

It is such a complicated process. I am learning new coping mechanism and I understand triggers (which I had no concept of until therapy), and how to identify and avoid these triggers. Breathing techniques, finding an object to focus on,and others.

It was an escape but probably not to a good place for me. Memories in this state cannot be recovered. I have been free of fugues almost a year next month.

Kevin

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