In talking with my pastor about my abuse and asking what resources the church has, he was very nonjudgmental and supportive. He also spent a good bit of time listening and avoided "feel good" easy answers, acknowledging but not afraid of the tough issues we all deal with.
One of his responding insights was that a big problem I face is the concept that sex involves more than physical and emotional coupling but also a spiritual coupling as well. From my own studies of>
God grant me
The Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The Courage to change the things I can,
And the Wisdom to know the difference.