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#347467 - 12/08/10 11:12 AM Re: Reminder that same age abuse is possible [Re: mh6893]
Avery46 Offline


Registered: 09/23/10
Posts: 1243
Loc: USA
JH,

Welcome to MS. You will find great support here.

I have gotten to KNOW how same age assault happens. The secrets are devastating BUT possible to recover from. I learned experimentation does happen and is ok. BUT,when one gets overly touchy either physically or verbally then a boundary is crossed.

Peace,
Donnie

_________________________
aka DJsport

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#348274 - 12/16/10 01:49 AM Re: Reminder that same age abuse is possible [Re: Avery46]
ericc Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/04/08
Posts: 1977
I haven't been posting as much here lately, but trying to catch up on some stuff today. This thread is very relevant to me, which of course is why I already posted a few times earlier in the year. That certainly is one of the problems of same-age abuse, people just wanting to discount it as experimentation. But I think the effects speak for themselves. It does happen.

It didn't register to me to search the term "child on child abuse" as Bobcat used, but looks like there is quite a bit that comes up:
google search



Edited by ericc (12/16/10 01:50 AM)

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#348281 - 12/16/10 02:23 AM Re: Reminder that same age abuse is possible [Re: ericc]
goodbyehorses Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/10/10
Posts: 26
Loc: Northern California
Thank you so much for the insight in this thread.

I have been wrestling with this issue since I started examining my csa. I was stuck minimizing one situation as "experimentation", yet the act left lasting scars on my soul. I was 7 yrs old at the time, the abuser was 8. How could I label a small child as an abuser? But he definitely fell into categories 1&2. I am not blaming him for that. A year or so later, I acted out on a child who was one year older than me. I had no problem accepting myself as an abuser in that. I fell into category 2. I am not blaming myself either.

As was told to me from a fellow MS, children act on what they are taught. I am learning to accept that by forgiving myself and my young abuser.


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#348293 - 12/16/10 08:53 AM Re: Reminder that same age abuse is possible [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
Overcomer Offline


Registered: 11/12/10
Posts: 41
Loc: Sumter, SC
Bobcat,
Thanks for this break down. Like you, I thought I was a willing participant until one day reading about the signs of sexual abuse and realizing that I fit much of the profile. My abuser was only a year and a half older, but I'm now able to call what happened to me abuse. Thanks for sharing this insight from your therapist and your own life!


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#348361 - 12/17/10 09:37 AM Re: Reminder that same age abuse is possible [Re: Overcomer]
TheBobcatAgain Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/13/10
Posts: 507
Loc: AZ, U.S.A.
To my brothers who are thanking me in this thread,

You are VERY welcome! I hope this information of "Child-On-Child" abuse comes as a relief and helps you as much as it helped me.

Thinking that I had been a willing participant in my abuse was, very literally, killing me - I had suicidal thoughts since my early teen years. But learning that what happened to me was ABUSE, that it was IN NO WAY my fault...allowed me to shed a lot of shame and breathe a great big sigh of relief - relief, knowing that many of my mistakes and problems in life weren't because I was a perpetual screwup but were, in fact, caused by something that wasn't my fault AT ALL - and that is a great comfort, knowing that I am NOT a perpetual screwup. I'm actually learning that I'm quite a good guy, in fact. smile

Do me a favor, my brothers - if the laws in your area don't agree with my therapist's EXPERT opinion of "Child-On-Child" abuse, don't despair, okay? Laws are being changed all the time. Do a little research on your own - I find my local library to be a good source of inexpensive but valuable literature - and be patient; someday, the world will recognize our pioneering efforts of defining male victimization and begin providing resources for us and interventions for children.

I'm truly sorry that you have been abused, my brothers...but thank you for participating in this site and helping us in our struggle.

You are not only survivors now...you are heroes leading the way in a noble cause.

Bless you, my brothers, one and all. smile

Your loving brother, as always,

Bobcat


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#348364 - 12/17/10 09:48 AM Re: Reminder that same age abuse is possible [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
michael Joseph Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/11/01
Posts: 2719
Loc: Virginia
yeah bobcat (catmando)

and college libraries may have better selection

not sure but seems I found a lot of books there

Bless you

Your loving brother,

Michael joseph

_________________________
Standing together is so much better than hiding in the dark.
***I am a three time WoR Retreat Alumni***
The Round Table, Men's CSA Group, Monday 7:30pm CST, MaleSurvivor Chat

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#348571 - 12/20/10 06:40 AM Re: Reminder that same age abuse is possible [Re: michael Joseph]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 2024
Loc: durham, north england
I sometimes stil feel sick when I think how ashamed and responsable I was. in fact during violence, and abuse I was frequently called a dirty bastard myself because my body reacted, even when my mind was toally gnum, even when I was having my face spat in.

Tis is why this topic is extremely impotant to me too.

Same age abuse, even violent and insulting gang wrape, is quite possible.


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#349861 - 01/05/11 07:41 PM Re: Reminder that same age abuse is possible [Re: dark empathy]
Magellan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/31/10
Posts: 1437
Loc: California
Thank you so much for this topic and thread. I spent 30 years of my life dismissing the "exploration" and "play" that my cousin and I did with each other as children. He is 5 years older, and he initiated me with all that. lasted for a few years.

I dismissed it handily. This topic explains a lot of my story and confusion.

Thanks again.

D



Edited by tdillon (01/18/11 05:54 PM)
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If I'm acting despondent, Please ask me if I'm eating sugar. I keep forgetting sugar makes me crazy.

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