Newest Members
TheGreatWhat, MyNameIsPaul, serenity38, vivo, Laurie
12485 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
era1 (31), GregoryP (50), GregoryParcell (50), junior (54), KDW78 (36), nansogre (48)
Who's Online
5 registered (Bardo, 4 invisible), 25 Guests and 4 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12485 Members
74 Forums
64147 Topics
447571 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >
Topic Options
#321896 - 02/12/10 08:38 AM New forum for non-CSA related Survivors
Sans Logos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5791
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
brian brings up a great point in the oprah show thread

Originally Posted By: LN(SS)
The unfortunate tendency seems to be to appropriate the statement above solely for CSA survivors.


brian's statement exposes a very important distinction to which i had not given much thought. yes i was a victim of rape as an adult [on multiple occasions in my later teens] but i always perceived that as a secondary circumstance that emerged and developed from the early adolescent experiences of childhood sexual abuse that impacted me as a result of the incestous relationship with an older brother, and therefore did not give it much weight in the broader scope of my recovery story.

we need to focus as an organization as brian suggests on those victim/survivors whose experiences are unrelated specifically to early life CSA.

there are likely more male victims here [ and 'out there'] besides brian, daryl and caleb who would benefit from a broader research focus that would serve their particular recovery needs.

now if there was ever a need for a new forum on malesurvivor, there is one for sure!

Survivors of non-CSA related abuse.

how about them apples? if we had a forum like this, it could double as a statistical data gathering tool.

why not start one today?







Edited by Sans Logos (02/12/10 09:44 AM)
Edit Reason: compulsive elucidation
_________________________
  1. the past
  2. ReClaiming Now
  3. advocacy


Top
#321898 - 02/12/10 09:17 AM Re: New forum for non-CSA related Survivors [Re: Sans Logos]
Elad 12 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/15/05
Posts: 1176
Loc: on the coast
Beside the csa ages 4-8 I was also abused as a teen although I got away pretty quick that time. But I was sexually abused in my early 20's and that one is the hardest to talk about or deal with in many ways.
I think a forum as you describe would be good & helpful.


Top
#321932 - 02/12/10 09:07 PM Re: New forum for non-CSA related Survivors [Re: Elad 12]
king tut Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/13/08
Posts: 2469
Loc: UK
I have never really thought of MS as being a place just (or mostly) for CSA survivors. I have been very aware that there are people on the boards who were abused at all different ages- but maybe a dedicated forum may make the fact that sexual abuse can occur at any age more visible. It would provide a dedicated place to talk about the shame and guilt etc that may be attached to the fact that it occurred at an older age, and may provide clearer insight into certain aspects- if somebody is abused as a child they may be more susceptible to abuse as an older person, and of course this draws in many issues such as how some survivors may be met with prostitution in their older life which is also abuse.

I think sexual abuse (or abuse) of an adult is something that needs to be talked about more, both independent of any abuse from childhood (and in the military etc) and also "interconnected" with abuse from childhood.

(I may be alone on this but to me the term "CSA" has always included young adulthood)

Lewis

_________________________
"...until lambs become lions"

I love you, little lewis, and i will never leave you. We are the same. You brighten my day, and i will make sure that i brighten yours. Hugs and kisses.


Top
#321933 - 02/12/10 09:12 PM Re: New forum for non-CSA related Survivors [Re: Elad 12]
1islandboy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/23/08
Posts: 862
Loc: washington
I think there should be great consideration before creating a new forum (at some point there has to be a critical mass)...

That being said...it is hard for me to elucidate...why we don't already have a forum for those that don't fit the C...(child designation).

I think the --- (& Men) --- are definately unrepresented...


Caught between the Tigers (TNT)


island

_________________________
Rise above the storm and you will find the sunshine ~ M.F. Fernandez

Top
#321938 - 02/12/10 09:52 PM Re: New forum for non-CSA related Survivors [Re: 1islandboy]
InsideTheWall Offline


Registered: 01/10/09
Posts: 289
I would definitely be more comfortable telling my story on a forum like the one being discussed. Being abused at a slightly older age than most people here comes with its own set of issues.



Edited by Anonymous (02/12/10 09:53 PM)

Top
#321941 - 02/12/10 10:45 PM Re: New forum for non-CSA related Survivors [Re: InsideTheWall]
Caleb Offline


Registered: 02/08/10
Posts: 33
Loc: Richmond, VA
I think that this is a fantastic idea, I was actually going to ask for a forum like this to be added. Although we may have similar after affects of our abuse as those who have been affected by CSA, I do believe that there are some significant differences. Also, as an adult survivor, I desire to speak with other adult survivors. I looked around this site for about 2 months before finally signing up, I think I would have signed up faster if it had been more clear that this site was also designed to support and encourage adult survivors.

Thanks for putting this out there! I believe that a forum like this will open communication and ease some frustrations of adult survivors looking for help.

Caleb


Top
#322077 - 02/14/10 12:38 PM Re: New forum for non-CSA related Survivors [Re: Caleb]
catfish86 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/27/09
Posts: 826
Loc: Ohio
I think it was in chat that another survivor pointed out how I might have felt had it happened to them as an adult. That hit me. One legitimate way of dealing with my responses to my own abuses was to remember that I was a developmentally delayed 8yo boy. But that is not so comforting to a man who was raped at gunpoint or by a physically large male. What is healing to remember about an 8yo boy only magnifies the feelings of guilt and powerlessness for someone abused as an adult. Should they have been able to take care of themselves. Truth is, most rapes are ambushes of one type or another. whether the web ensares a young boy or an adult male, predators are prepared to subdue their unsuspecting prey. I remember the news story of a man highly skilled in the martial arts taken captive by Central American guerillas. He was sexually abused during captivity because, as Chuck Norris puts it, fists are no match for bullets. In many ways, there are different issues to be dealt with and I can see those points.

_________________________
God grant me
The Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The Courage to change the things I can,
And the Wisdom to know the difference.

Top
#322097 - 02/14/10 04:23 PM Re: New forum for non-CSA related Survivors [Re: catfish86]
LN3(SS) Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/20/08
Posts: 486
Loc: MD
Originally Posted By: Sans Logos
there are likely more male victims here [ and 'out there'] ... who would benefit from a broader research focus that would serve their particular recovery needs. ... if we had a forum like this, it could double as a statistical data gathering tool.
I'm not sure about anyone else, but I would like to think that a forum on a survivor site for "Non CSA survivors" is about facilitating recovery and not to further a psychologist's research.

Brian

_________________________
"When we go into battle, I will be the first to set foot on the field, and I will be the last to step off, and I will leave no one behind. Dead, or alive, we will all come home together." LTG Hal Moore, Jr., USA (Ret.)

Top
#322101 - 02/14/10 04:57 PM Re: New forum for non-CSA related Survivors [Re: LN3(SS)]
Sans Logos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5791
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
i agree that facilitating recovery would be the primary focus of such an endeavor. however i think that development of this as a fledgling field of interest and subsequent study would occur secondarily as a matter of due course. in the end, any responsible effort to raise awareness about a yet unexplored segment of victim/survivors could only serve to benefit the population under discussion, so i see that as a favorable thing. i definitely don't want to see survivors being exploited in any fashion, not for monetary gain or otherwise. cool

ron

_________________________
  1. the past
  2. ReClaiming Now
  3. advocacy


Top
#322108 - 02/14/10 05:42 PM Re: New forum for non-CSA related Survivors [Re: Sans Logos]
king tut Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/13/08
Posts: 2469
Loc: UK
I certainly don't think it should be called anything like "Non CSA survivors" though - a survivor of abuse which may have occurred as an adult may also be a survivor of abuse from childhood. Also "Non-CSA survivors" sounds like a segregation.

It would probably be a tricky forum to find a good name for- a name that is not too long but not confusing. There is probably a good and accepted terminology for survivors of abuse that occurred in adulthood- we could simply call it:

"Survivors of Adulthood Abuse"

But i would consult Ken Singer and see what he thinks.

Lewis

(if the idea goes ahead)

_________________________
"...until lambs become lions"

I love you, little lewis, and i will never leave you. We are the same. You brighten my day, and i will make sure that i brighten yours. Hugs and kisses.


Top
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >



I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.