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#321871 - 02/12/10 12:29 AM A Survivorís Litany
Derdlecar Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/08/05
Posts: 1314
Loc: Ogden Utah, USA
A Survivorís Litany

He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.

I dwell in another secret place.
Itís called the land of forgetfulness and suppression.
Many are the shadows lurking in that land,
yet none are called the shadow of the Almighty.


I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.

O, how I longed for You to be my refuge and my fortress!
Where were You, God, when I desperately needed You?
I didnít willingly give up my innocence.
I was seized in an act of betrayal and terror.


Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence. He shall cover thee with his
feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.

I believed You would deliver me, God. Why didnít You?
Why didnít You stop it before it began?
You tell me to trust. How can I?
Iím sorry, Lord, but when someone tells me to trust,
I get scaredóeven when that Someone is divine.


Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; nor for the arrow that flieth by day; nor for the pestilence that walketh
in darkness; nor for the destruction that wasteth at noonday.
A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand; but it shall not come nigh thee.

Not true, God. Even now I walk in terror and aloneness.
I am one of the ten thousand who fell at Your right hand.
I was an innocent child who believed in You.
God, You know that evil came near meórevoltingly near.


Only with thine eyes shalt thou behold and see the reward of the wicked.

Let me tell You what my eyes see, Lord.
My eyes see adults who protect their spouses, or relatives, or friends, or
reputationsórather than their children.
My eyes see children intimidated by a justice system they donít understand,
but whose hostility they feel.
My eyes see scarsóugly scarsócarried by survivors,
often for the rest of their lives.
My eyes see a road most traveled by survivorsóa road devoid of self-esteem
and self-respect, a road of alcoholism, drug addiction, obesity, sexual
dysfunction, prostitution, divorce, and suicide.
And through bitter tears, my eyes see a church whose silence regarding
my plight is deafening.


* Scripture passages (lightface) are from Psalm 91.

By Robert H. Lloyd

_________________________
If a man would get his life on track, he must first go back to the place where it was derailed.

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#321897 - 02/12/10 08:59 AM Re: A Survivorís Litany [Re: Derdlecar]
catfish86 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/27/09
Posts: 820
Loc: Ohio
I too have asked these questions. One song that replies to these questions: Matt Maher sings "You were on the cross".

Lost, everything is lost
And everything I've loved before is gone
Alone like the coming of the frost
And a cold winter's chill in my stony heart

And where were You when all that I've hoped for?
Where You when all that I've dreamed?
Came crashing down in shambles around me
You were on the cross

Pain, could you take away the pain?
If I find someone to blame, would it make my life seem easier?
Alone, all my friends are asleep
And I can't find anyone to stay awake with me

Where were You when sin stole my innocence?
Where were You when I was ashamed?
Hiding in a life, I wish, I never made

You were on the cross, my God, my God, alone, alone
You were on the cross, You died for us, alone, alone
You were on the cross, victorious, alone, alone

You were there in all of my suffering
And You were there in doubt and in fear
I'm waiting on the dawn to reappear



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCPsZ-Vi6Ck

_________________________
God grant me
The Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The Courage to change the things I can,
And the Wisdom to know the difference.

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