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#322109 - 02/14/10 06:00 PM Re: Oprah Looking For Survivors [Re: WalkingSouth]
jacobtk Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/08/03
Posts: 527
It is worth noting that a few years ago Oprah had female child rapists on her show and basically gave them a pass and allowed the women to present themselves as victims. With the one boy she interviewed, she allowed his rapist's version of the story to be told first and had the boy, who was around 16 at the time, sit there while Oprah played his rapist's interview on screen. The most compassion Oprah could muster was a mildly indifferent "You know it's not your fault."

I am not trying to convince anyone from going on the show, but people should keep it in mind that Oprah has a history of excusing female perpetrated physical and sexual violence, especially against boys and men. More likely than not, the majority of the guests will be women and the one or two men interviewed likely will not receive the same amount of time.

_________________________
Every day I die again, and again Iím reborn/Every day I have to find the courage/To walk out into the street/With arms out/Got a love you canít defeat/Neither down nor out/Thereís nothing you have that I need/I can breathe/Breathe now - U2

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#322110 - 02/14/10 06:23 PM Re: Oprah Looking For Survivors [Re: jacobtk]
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16264
In all honesty I've noticed a marked change in Oprah's approach of this topic over recent years. She seems to have moved from the position that it was impossible for a male to be sexually abused to a position that it does happen and has begun to take steps in telling our story in her programming. I applaud her for these moves.

Bottom line is that in our society there's still a long way to go before male victimization is given the same attention and level of support from media and government agencies but it is changing, if gradually.

_________________________
ďLifeís journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ĎHoly ____Ö! What a ride!íĒ ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#322122 - 02/14/10 08:35 PM Re: Oprah Looking For Survivors [Re: WalkingSouth]
An Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/24/04
Posts: 151
Loc: usa
I want to affirm Walking South's recognition- tomorrow's show is on Mother's abusing sons- i've seen the previews and it's right on and an area i've had particularly close contact with - from the previews , i feel Oprah, like all of us, is on a journey of learning. As Maya Angelou says, "When we know better, we do better" .
I am excited about tomorrow's show- breaking the silence on the ultimate taboo. and the son survivor's courage knows no bounds in my book- he's going to deserve much followup support . she has developed much greater sensitivity in asking the honest questions and she's showing courage too in doing what i'm sure not all her producers supported.

Thanks Walking South for sharing your male perception of it since i can only come from my female one. I recommend going to the website full versions after the shows cause watching them gives a more complete picture.

hmmm, i just caught myself not expecting the level of honesty from the mother perpetrator that we heard from the brave honst men last week, 2 or 3 of which had been survivors themselves. Time will tell. Hoping, An



Edited by An (02/14/10 08:38 PM)

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#322129 - 02/14/10 09:22 PM Re: Oprah Looking For Survivors [Re: WalkingSouth]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6867
Loc: USA
Originally Posted By: walkingsouth
Allen,

I don't think Oprah wants someone who is going to put on a "front". I think she wants' people who are going to be genuine on the show even if that means showing the pain and emotion. I think you would do very well in helping show the public the impact this terrible scourge has on people and society. I mean that in the most supportive way possible, My Friend.

John


John, I was beginning to wonder this myself. So your message comes as confirmatory.

I remember when I had to give "live" testimony to an administrative committee in the big city. I almost became dysfunctional. I had severe psychosomatic pain. My voice shook and locked up as I started to give my testimony. Then the ears of the committee perked up. They granted me extra time. I was told by the lawyer that I did well. As soon as it was over, all the pain left.

Allen


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#322132 - 02/14/10 09:57 PM Re: Oprah Looking For Survivors [Re: pufferfish]
catfish86 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/27/09
Posts: 821
Loc: Ohio
I was pm'd by someone here with an idea. Personally, I would never respond given the wording of the disclaimer. Bottom line they can broadcast my story, name and all with no repercussions. Oprah has used identity screens of varying types. I would do it if one of the moderators I trusted fronted my story and got assurances of anonymity without going through the website.

_________________________
God grant me
The Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The Courage to change the things I can,
And the Wisdom to know the difference.

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#322145 - 02/15/10 12:49 AM Re: Oprah Looking For Survivors [Re: WalkingSouth]
jacobtk Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/08/03
Posts: 527
Originally Posted By: walkingsouth
In all honesty I've noticed a marked change in Oprah's approach of this topic over recent years. She seems to have moved from the position that it was impossible for a male to be sexually abused to a position that it does happen and has begun to take steps in telling our story in her programming. I applaud her for these moves.

Bottom line is that in our society there's still a long way to go before male victimization is given the same attention and level of support from media and government agencies but it is changing, if gradually.


Perhaps, but even on the preview for Monday's show she frames Gregg Milligan's mother raping him as "seduction," and these were acts being done to a 9-year-old boy. She may be making an effort, but I think it is more for her to exploit male victims for ratings, or for the gratification of her audience, than any genuine concern for abused boys or men. I do not think it helps much if the only interest is treating victims of female abuse like novelties. However, I will watch the show to see whether she again excuses female-perpetrated child rape as she did several years ago.

_________________________
Every day I die again, and again Iím reborn/Every day I have to find the courage/To walk out into the street/With arms out/Got a love you canít defeat/Neither down nor out/Thereís nothing you have that I need/I can breathe/Breathe now - U2

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#322186 - 02/15/10 01:56 PM Re: Oprah Looking For Survivors [Re: jacobtk]
catfish86 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/27/09
Posts: 821
Loc: Ohio
She seemed to do OK with Shaun Hornbeck but that involved a major scoop involving a male perp so he may have gotten kid glove treatment the rest of us would not. Maybe we are a suspicious lot but who can blame us after what we have faced.

Also, considering Oprah's school for girls in Africa turned out to have a serious SA problem, I am not sure if she isn't a little hypocritical on this issue.



Edited by catfish86 (02/15/10 01:57 PM)
_________________________
God grant me
The Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The Courage to change the things I can,
And the Wisdom to know the difference.

Top
#322191 - 02/15/10 03:03 PM Re: Oprah Looking For Survivors [Re: catfish86]
jacobtk Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/08/03
Posts: 527
Well, today's show was rather surprising because it was really fair. Oprah handled the topic of female sexual abusers without making excuses or minimizing Gregg Milligan's abuse. Hopefully that is what the other show will be like.

_________________________
Every day I die again, and again Iím reborn/Every day I have to find the courage/To walk out into the street/With arms out/Got a love you canít defeat/Neither down nor out/Thereís nothing you have that I need/I can breathe/Breathe now - U2

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#322212 - 02/15/10 05:02 PM Re: Oprah Looking For Survivors [Re: jacobtk]
ComicBookGuy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/08/09
Posts: 443
Loc: London, England
They say the whole thing's on the site tomorrow, I'll have to catch it but in the afternoon with the time difference - viewing the first special took over the day.

At least in the comments section they're making criticisms we might have made ourselves as with the first special, including one from a therapist, so people can't say we're biased and too close to the issue.

_________________________
- CBG

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#322236 - 02/15/10 06:59 PM Re: Oprah Looking For Survivors [Re: ComicBookGuy]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6867
Loc: USA
ABUSE BY FEMALE (MOTHER)

I watched the show today. It was concerned with the abuse of "Gregg" by his mother. Gregg is now 47. Gregg was sexually abused by his mother starting at age 8 (if I remember correctly) through age 11. She also "sold" his body to men in the neighborhood and threatened that if he didn't cooperate they wouldn't be able to eat.

I thought that Oprah handled it sensitively and carefully. She is trying to balance her role as show hostess with being a T.V. therapist. I approve of the way she handled it. She didn't embarrass Gregg or his sister and yet she was forthright about the flagrant abuse.

I think Oprah is performing an excellent role in educating the public about the nature of child sexual abuse.

Allen

pufferfish whistle






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