i wrote my story some time ago an have been working on my stuff since then...i have discovered that my mom is in the rape mix as well and i am devastated...this is affecting my life more than the others --- the two priests, my grandfather, father and brother --- because it means that i did not have ANY protection form anywhere --- including god...i am feeling so very alone...i have done some emdr-like work around relationship balancing and energy shifting but it has not helped this one as yet --- and with the economy the way it is my work as a massage therapist has bottomed out so counseling is no longer affordable - not to say that i would trust anyone at this point in time at any rate. this is all spilling over into my relationship with my partner and i don't know how much more she can take...i am lost, confused and often times in such a rage that i cannot seem to control myself...someone, anyone --- please