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#321190 - 02/05/10 01:17 PM Re: Anyone else have problems completing college/Univ? [Re: Sans Logos]
westsidej Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/04/09
Posts: 150
Loc: Minnesota
Quote:
but i returned yet again in 1996, and gradually finished the degree with honors, graduating cum laud. i even received the jean langlais award for excellence in sacred music, an award not given annually, but was warranted [yea, i am braggin a bit, but deserved it ] i am only mentioning these things to show that it is possible to transcend the crippling legacy of sexual abuse. (Amen, brother: added by Jay)


Ron,

Howdy. Happy Friday. Thank you so much for sharing. Your story touched on Eric's theme about perseverance. I knew about your degree from U of MN but not about your academic success while completing that program. That's outstanding. I am very very proud of you and your work. You're yet another story of triumph over adversity.

How lucky am I to know all of you guys? Blessed indeed.

After looking back at my college career, I realized that it didn't take me 14 years to complete my BA but actually 18 years from the time of my first college course, US History to 1877 taken via PACE while serving in the Navy embarked onboard the USS JFK in 1990. It was free through Central Texas College but I had to buy the book. Worked 12 hours (minimum)everyday and then took this class three times a week for 8 weeks. I earned a B+ and it was a roller-coaster ride until 2008.

Have a great weekend everyone and I look forward to more stories and for sure helping more of us earn/finish their degrees, from associates to Phd work.

Jay

_________________________
My CSA story TRIGGERS!!!!

The hottest place in Hell is reserved for those who remain neutral in times of great moral conflict. Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

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#321427 - 02/08/10 06:35 AM Re: Anyone else have problems completing college/Univ? [Re: westsidej]
zb420 Offline


Registered: 08/16/09
Posts: 251
this is a real depressing thread


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#321429 - 02/08/10 07:19 AM Re: Anyone else have problems completing college/Univ? [Re: zb420]
Sans Logos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5791
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
yes zac, so true. these mountains have not been easy to climb. zac, you're not just some random guy on a random website with some random reactions to some random depressing stuff. you're gonna be ok cause we're here with you as you face your own mountains randomly presenting themselves for your life's passages. hang in there buddy. ron

_________________________
  1. the past
  2. ReClaiming Now
  3. advocacy


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#321435 - 02/08/10 09:52 AM Re: Anyone else have problems completing college/Univ? [Re: Sans Logos]
westsidej Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/04/09
Posts: 150
Loc: Minnesota
Quote:
this is a real depressing thread


zb420

I'm sorry to hear you feel that way about this post. I found the stories of triumph over csa quite inspiring.

A few of us are still struggling to complete our studies, whether college, trade school, grad school or a professional school like truck driving or cosmetology but at least we're persevering instead of just giving up and letting our abusers continue to affect our lives.

Can you give us some specific examples of what depresses you about this or if this hits home, can we help you in some way?

Jay

(Is the 420 referring to green leafy plants?) If so, that may also be a huge source of depression for you.

_________________________
My CSA story TRIGGERS!!!!

The hottest place in Hell is reserved for those who remain neutral in times of great moral conflict. Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

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#321437 - 02/08/10 10:16 AM Re: Anyone else have problems completing college/Univ? [Re: westsidej]
Charlie24 Offline


Registered: 09/28/08
Posts: 562
Jay

I wanted to add my two cents or share my story about college with you.

I graduated high school back in 2002 and just assumed my next step was college, everyone was saying you need to go to college, go to college. Blah blah blah.

Well I did go to the community college in my hometown. I hated it, didn't feel like college at all. Felt like more b.s. high school plus I had to have classes with the jerks I delt with in high school.

I didn't get it and just didn't really make an effort, just went through the motions. I was also working part time at a grocery store, then my abuse surfaced and everything came to a head, I told my parents, got kicked out of school and just gave up, tried to work my way up at a grocery store, can't do that anymore, at least IMHO.

I tried to work and then my Dad said I needed to get serious about life, so I went on an Outward Bound course, really helped me gain perspective and learned to stand up for myself.

Then I decided I wanted to go to school for nutrition, still working on my B.S. started in 2006 and hope to be done by Spring 2011, I'm a senior this year, and yes this shit can get old. I have moments where I just want to give up, say screw it and just say whatever, but I remind myself how miserable I was at my old job and then in a way it's motivation to keep going, not give up.

I have learning disabilities too, could that be something your struggling with, they have counseling services on campus to help you figure out if you have problems or places to get tested, then you can accommodations, I get accommodations cause I struggle bad with testing and classroom distraction, I get a private room, just a thought.

I want a decent job so I can take care of myself and not be financially dependent on others. Wanna be an adult and live my own life, hopefully one day own my own home.

I've learned something about college, sometimes its just bullshit that professors wanna see how many loops you can jump through and do stupid tasks they ask, so much of it is just following directions.

I realize this is a bit detailed and I hope it does offer some hope.

Hang in there bud.

Maybe if possible you could take a break for a year, get yourself collected and try and get focused about school again. It's hard when your not sure what you wanna do and where you wanna go.

One last thing I wanna add, a bit of advice, first off it's great if you can get a 4.0 and graduate with that, I started with a 4.0, but slowly creeping down, still above a 3.0, which is great, I have a study buddy who has told me repeatedly that so much of getting a degree and a decent job is the employer wants to just see a 4 year degree, and often they could give a rats ass about a GPA. They just wanna see you go through the bullshit of college, all my humble opinion.

Just know your doing great Jay, try your best and forget the rest as they say.

Charlie.

P.S. I got to rambling again.


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#321465 - 02/08/10 08:18 PM Re: Anyone else have problems completing college/Univ? [Re: westsidej]
zb420 Offline


Registered: 08/16/09
Posts: 251
[



Edited by zb420 (03/03/10 10:42 PM)

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#322592 - 02/19/10 01:02 AM Re: Anyone else have problems completing college/Univ? [Re: zb420]
westsidej Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/04/09
Posts: 150
Loc: Minnesota
Quote:
One last thing I wanna add, a bit of advice, first off it's great if you can get a 4.0 and graduate with that, I started with a 4.0, but slowly creeping down, still above a 3.0, which is great, I have a study buddy who has told me repeatedly that so much of getting a degree and a decent job is the employer wants to just see a 4 year degree, and often they could give a rats ass about a GPA. They just wanna see you go through the bullshit of college, all my humble opinion.
Charlie

While your G.P.A. may or may not be important for landing a job, it will come back to haunt you for grad school and other post-secondary educational opportunities.

_________________________
My CSA story TRIGGERS!!!!

The hottest place in Hell is reserved for those who remain neutral in times of great moral conflict. Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

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#326496 - 03/28/10 08:25 PM Re: Anyone else have problems completing college/Univ? [Re: westsidej]
Wilson81 Offline


Registered: 03/04/10
Posts: 7
Loc: United States
I just had to respond to this old thread. I became very emotional reading the posts here simply because it has given me hope.

I feel like such a failure because I did not complete college and now I am in a situation where I need a degree to get a job. I completed my freshman year in college almost 19 years ago, and did quite well actually, but I foolishly allowed work to take priority over education. After becoming a member here, I can see the possible connection between depression and csa and the failures in my life, including completing college.

While reading the posts, for the first time I have considered it is possible I myself may have a learning disability. This is hard to say because that is not "suppose" to be the case for me. I was the "smart" one. I was voted most likely to succeed. I was the one who got the impressive grades even through my freshman year in college. But, now I can't seem to concentrate to save my life, and I have such a problem now understanding things and often feel like such an idiot.

Honestly, I chalked my not completing college to laziness and lack of money, but for the first time I can honetly say, besides the possibility of a learning disability, I may have been too hard on myself all of these years and laziness may not have been the culprit behind it at all. During the time I was suppose to be in college, I was severly depressed and was freshly exiting some traumatic years in my life. In addition, I focused on work subconciously trying to prove to my stepfather I wasn't lazy.

Though I have a solid work history (18 years, 13 of which were with the last company I was laid off from), I am ashamed to say I have now been unemployed for almost a year and a half, and feel so intimidated about reentering school. I know I have to do something with regard to schooling to survive but I feel like I am just stuck.

I am about to be 38 years old in a few months, have no official skills, and a part of me feels it is too late to go back to school. But I have to say reading how many of you guys have been pursuing degrees for a while and have not given up on doing so has really sparked a bit of inspiration in me.

Thanks to everyone for sharing your experiences. This website has truly opened my eyes to the fact that I am not alone in so many problem areas of my life.

Wilson81


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