I'm a vegetarian and a pacifist and an activist and I don't believe in any living thing getting hurt.
I am a meatatarian, hunter, and actively involved in fighting for gun rights in my country,..I am probably more rightwing than you are left...BUT, none of that matters on THIS board...here we are all survivors.
I can relate to your BF's experience as I was also abused by a woman...my mother.
I can also agree with many of the comments here, specifically that 1) he is lucky to have someone in his corner 2) it's a good idea to also take care of yourself (if you have ever traveled by airplane, you will note they always tell you to put on your own oxygen mask before helping others).
You seem to be self-aware and interested in learning more..may i suggest some books? Perhaps if he sees you reading them, he may be inspired as well (as others said, it is better to attract than to impose recovery):
1) Victims No Longer by Mike Lew...the "bible" for malesurvivors
2) Co-Dependent No More by Melody Beattie
3) Getting the Love You Want by Harville Hendrix...this talks about how we fall in love with our "imago," a composite of all the people who took care (or didn't take care) of us in our childhood