This is a lie:
"He was teaching me sex ed"

"I am a pervert"

"I asked for it"

"I wanted it because I went back to him"

"He loved me"

"I was special"

I've read several of the lies that others have written, and while I know that many of them are lies I still have a hard time believing they are lies.

The biggest lie that I keep getting told and not just by one person but several people is:

This is a lie:

It is YOUR problem ..... deal with it.

This is a lie:

Because you were an adult when it happened ..... it doesn't matter.

This is a lie:

You'd be nothing without me.

This is a lie:

What I'm doing to you is "therapy" .... I was assualted by my therapist

This is a Lie:

You deserved it .... because you are gay

This is a lie:

No one can understand how I am feeling ....... I believed this LIE until I met all of my wonderful "FRIENDS" here at NOMSV ...... Thanks for all your support guys .... I hope I can return it.

[/LIST]

This is a lie:

God loves you more than I do. God wants me to show you how much by touching you like this.

All boys do it at one point or another, it's normal.

You are the most selfish, self centered, egotistical, uncaring, unemotional person I have ever known.

If you let me suck it, it will get bigger, and you will be ready for sex with girls.

Bring your little boy friends over, then we can all have some fun together.

It's all in your head, it's not my problem.

I, the spouse, did not sign up for this crap when we got married.

"Life's a piece of shit, when you look at it"

Odd how we all have been told many of the same lies. Here's more

ITS A LIE WHEN
You are told "You can tell me anything" then when you do, you are thrown out.

ITS A LIE WHEN:
You are told "For better or worse until death do us part"

ITS A LIE WHEN:
You are told "Lets have a Party"

ITS A LIE WHEN:
There are certain things that "Boys your age Do"

ITS A LIE WHEN:
"Pray, this will go away"

IT's A LIE WHEN:
You will never amount to anything.

IT'S A LIE WHEN:
Here, give this to your mother, this will be our "Little secret"

IT'S A LIE WHEN:
"Thanks for the feel" Don't say anything

IT'S A LIE WHEN"
You have tried so many things and failed at them all.
Man what a vent

This is a lie:
It was just child's play

This is a lie:
I am unlovable

This is a lie:
I can't be trusted

This is a lie:
I will abuse because I was abused

I have lies buried that I can't even see
They shape me and hurt me and keep me from growing

I vow to let these lies go

THIS IS A LIE:
The abuse has fundamentally affected (changed or determined) my sexual orientation.

Some of the Lies,

I wanted it
I liked it.
I needed it.
It always made me feel good.
By doing it I had the best of both worlds.
He loved me.
He was there for me.
He cared for me.
He would never lie to me.

THE TRUTH

HE LIED!!!
HE MADE ME LIE!!!

I read one of the LIES that Orodo submitted:

"If you let me suck it, it will get bigger, and you will be ready for sex with girls."

The perpetrator who abused me used this LIE. He knew that I was insecure about the size of my penis, he knew that I wanted reassurance that I was normal, he knew that I trusted him like a big brother that I never had. He used all of that knowledge to manipulate me with that LIE. I was only eleven and I believed it then.

This is a LIE:

"I did it to you and you liked it, now you have to do it to me, it's only fair."

This post is so liberating for me. To spell out the lies we were told, to learn that we weren't the only ones who believed them, to finally see them for what they were so that we can move forward knowing the truth.

Truth:

"It wasn't my fault."

Thank you, Don NY, for starting this post. When you cast those ashes in the Alantic Ocean, I'll be casting some ashes up in a lake in the Sierra Nevadas, thanks for the inspiration.

Steve

These are lies that I put on myself as a kid.

I have to build a wall around my heart & soul and not let anyone in.

Stay invisable, don't attract attention, or someone will find out.

I must be gay because I liked it & went back.

I must be gay because I looked for gay sex on my own afterward.

Don't even think of having a girlfriend, girls wont like you. They will smell your shame like dog sh*t.

I'll never be a real man, I'll just have to fake it.

Uncle F loved me.

I have to become a CONTROL freak to keep from being vulnerable.

I held onto these lies until three four years ago (age 31 then). My wife came up with the name "the wall" for the prison I kept my heart in. It blew my mind away how
much the abuse & the lies shaped my life. It tainted every decision I made in my life, it probably still does to a degree.

~George~

THIS IS A LIE
The adults will believe me

The adults will help me

The adults will stop it happening

The adults will send the older boys away

THIS WAS MY TRUTH

The adults didn't believe me

The adults punished me

The adults didn't stop it happening

The adults joined in.

How I wish I could be on our Atlantic shore this Sunday to send this list to hell and back with Don.
Lloydy