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#3199 - 08/30/02 10:36 PM All Lies...........
Don-NY Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/06/02
Posts: 546
Loc: Long Island, NY
Help me out here guys. There are lies we were told, lies we absorbed, and lies we told ourselves in order to cope.

We've learned better now. So let's just list them here. List something that YOU NOW KNOW IS NOT TRUE AND NEVER WAS!!!!!!

What I know is a lie can help you. What you know is a lie can help me. Please help me.

No need for comments, just list them like this.

THIS IS A LIE:
I can't tell anyone what happened to me.

THIS IS A LIE:
I am a dirty, nasty, sick, perverted little freak.

THIS IS A LIE:
I can't do [whatever], because I might have a good time and feel happy, and I don't deserve to.

THIS IS A LIE:
I will never be able to manage this or my life.

_________________________
If you understand everything, some things are just as they are. If you understand nothing, things are still just as they are.

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#3200 - 08/31/02 03:27 AM Re: All Lies...........
Stephen_5 Offline
BoD Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/00
Posts: 667
Loc: Northern California Foothills
This is a lie:
"If any part of the abuse was pleasurable you were a willing participant"

This is a lie:
"You made me do it."

This is a lie:
"It's our secret"

This is a lie:
"If you liked that it means you're defective, unworthy, a bad person."

These are just some of the lies I was told and I believed for years. All lies don't have to be spelled out for us. Some of the worst ones are the subtle lies that we cling to because to show them to be just lies would mean that we were fooled by someone we trusted and maybe even loved.

Steve

_________________________
I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center.
Kurt Vonnegut (1922-2007)

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#3201 - 08/31/02 08:50 AM Re: All Lies...........
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
THIS IS A LIE

This is all I deserve

THIS IS A LIE

I enjoyed it

THIS IS A LIE

I am not normal

Lloydy

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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#3202 - 08/31/02 10:24 AM Re: All Lies...........
JamesMichael Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/24/02
Posts: 134
This is a lie:

You're a little girl.

This is a lie:

You're a little faggot.

This is a lie:

You'll never amount to anything.

This is a lie:

There's no use in talking about the past


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#3203 - 08/31/02 11:34 AM Re: All Lies...........
MrDon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/08/01
Posts: 957
Loc: Deltona, FL
I do this to you because I love you.

I do this because God says I should

You're a reject.

Don't cry, be a man (as I was getting beat).

I'm just a viewing picture for my abuser.

Why can't you do anything right?

THESE ARE ALL LIES AND I HATE EACH ONE OF THEM!

_________________________
In order to journey to new worlds, we must first be willing to lose site of the shore.

The Mind Body Thoughts Blog
http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/

Check out my relaxing piano music from the heart!
http://www.donshetterly.com

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#3204 - 08/31/02 05:22 PM Re: All Lies...........
Anonymous
Unregistered


Good idea Don! Let's see:

THESE ARE ALL LIES:

"I am defective."

"I could never satisfy a woman/partner."

"I will never amount to anything."

"I am hopeless."

"Noone could ever love me."

"I am not a real man."

"I am not man enough."

"My abusers truly cared for me/loved me."

"I am worthless."

"There is no hope."

"I am trash."

"I will never find a good job."

"I will never find someone to love."

"I can't survive on my own."

"My life is pointless."

"I won't survive."

"I cannot defend myself."

"This is a stupid exercise."

"It is safe to include my perpetrators in my life today."

Wow, I could go on and on. Thanks for this post Don!

rafael \:\)


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#3205 - 09/01/02 06:41 PM Re: All Lies...........
fhorns Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/10/02
Posts: 668
THIS IS A LIE:
I will never be real in front of people

THIS IS A LIE:
I will fuck up the most important things in my life--my marriage, my job, my friendships....

THIS IS A LIE:
I am helpless

THIS IS A LIE:
I will never be happy

THIS IS A LIE:
The way I feel now will always be the way I feel

THIS IS A LIE:
I'm just fine


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#3206 - 09/01/02 08:32 PM Re: All Lies...........
Thad Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/28/01
Posts: 1752
Loc: Oakland, CA
Don, this is a really great idea/post! Here is my list:

If you only knew the truth about me, you would not like me either.

There is no me – I am the product of chance

I can not find a me that I can depend on when I really need answers – there is no truth in me

I will never be happy

I am a “freak of nature”

I am the only one like this:
Who doesn’t love his mother
Who can’t function sexually
Who doesn’t know what he wants

Never, no Never trust anyone

Numbness is better than pain

It will hurt too much to change

Women are icky and can’t be trusted

_________________________
"..this place isn't a discussion forum..it's a portal..." Lupin
"The truth will set you free, but first it will probably piss you off." dwf's AA sponsor.

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#3207 - 09/02/02 11:48 AM Re: All Lies...........
ARW Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/29/02
Posts: 161
Loc: LA
THIS IS A LIE

I am a fuck up who will never stop sabotaging himself

THIS IS A LIE

I have never done anything worthwhile

THIS IS A LIE

Everybody thinks I'm some kind of freak

THIS IS A LIE

No one likes me for who I am

THIS IS A LIE

I don't like myself for who I am

THIS IS A LIE

My life is not worth living

_________________________
In every cry of every man,
In every Infant's cry of fear,
In every voice, in every ban,
The mind-forged manacles I hear.
-William Blake

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#3208 - 09/02/02 12:45 PM Re: All Lies...........
The Dean Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 07/15/02
Posts: 2080
Loc: Milwaukee, WI


THESE ARE ALL LIES:

I am a mistake.

Survivors will never be really well.

I am ruined to my core.

It is my fault because I went back to the BSA.s

A REAL MAN would not have let this ruin his life!

As a teenager I could have fought him off.

You knew he would not really kill you.

All sex is filthy.

I am damned for what I did.

_________________________
If we do not live what we believe, then we will begin to believe what we live.

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